In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Posts tagged ‘TV is not my friend’

Reality Shows Stupid but Entertaining

There are some really dumb shows on TV.For some reason, my husband is really into the reality ones that come out on Discovery and A&E like Big Catch or Moonshiners.

Have you seen that Amish Mafia one? Freaking stupid!! I can’t believe people watch it!! It’s absolutely horrible that it is funny! If there is an ounce of truth in the show, these must the stupidest people ever. Yes, there are shows like Honey Boo Boo that are dumb as well. But that’s the purpose of those shows. So when you watch them, you can sigh a breath of relief that you are doing something right. Shows like the Amish Mafia are trying to be serious and act like they are so hardcore.

My husband over the years has really been into this one show called The Devil’s Ride.


Its about a biker gang, The Laughing Devils,  and  their reign in San Diego. Up until recently they were the most popular and biggest gang there until an ex-member decided to start his own rival gang, Sinister Mob, with the same colors!! So now, both gangs can not co-exist. It just can’t be done.

devil-600-1391104674    Do they do illegal things? I haven’t watched enough to say yes. However, I saw last night’s episode and rival gang Sinister Mob went around beating the tar out of members of Laughing Devils. And they showed it. Happily.

  And I am just wondering, is this for real? Where is Hell’s Angels show? Would they be stupid to air all their activity on Discovery? I don’t know how real this show is. So far all the information verified that these are real bikers with a real gang. If that’s true, then why aren’t the San Diego police pounding on their doors?

  Another thing too, these bikers talk a lot of shit. A lot of the show is about them planning and planning and raising hell with words, puffing their chest out acting all bad ass. BUT THEN NOTHING HAPPENS!! Yesterday, there were actually fists raised but I think that was the first time I have seen that and not just talking about it. This show is an embarrassment to bikers every where I bet. It’s almost cringe worthy.

I watch another episode tonight.

Yes, I am still watching it. Everyone likes drama!! I am hoping someone cries!!

Thursday Movie Review- Retarded but in a Good Way

This week thanks to a freebie at Redbox I was able to finally see Casa de mi Padre.

It stars Will Ferrell, Diego Luna, Gael Garcia Bernal and the very very very very smokin hot actress Genesis Rodriguez.

The guys co-staring with Will are pretty tasty as well.

So, Will Ferrell plays Armando Alvarez who has lived and worked on his father’s ranch in Mexico his entire life. He is just a simple rancher.  He is treated with little respect from his father, who though loves him, doesn’t see him as smart.

The father rationalizes that Armando can never run the ranch. All Armando is good for is tending to the cattle.

Oh and one more thing… the movie is all in Spanish. Like you Americanos, I have to read the English subtitles cause I don’t speak a word of Spanish.

Armando’s friends joke with him that he has never been with a woman. He acknowledges that this is true but because he has not found the right one.
The ranch encounters financial difficulties, and soon, Armando’s younger brother Raul shows up to ease his father’s woes. Raul also brings with him his new girlfriend Sonia.  It seems that Raul’s success as an international businessman means the ranch’s troubles are over as he pledges to settle all debts his father has incurred.

Armando is suspicious of the is beautiful woman and questions her and her love for his brother.  Through Sonia, he learns of her treacherous past and also the true dealings of his brother, Raul.  As expected,  Armando falls for Sonia, and Raul’s business dealings turn out to be less than legit. He is a drug dealer.

Soon Sonia becomes involved in a war with Raul and Mexico’s most feared drug lord, the mighty Onza.

And Armando is the only one who can save her and his ranch.

This movie was sooooooo damn retarded. However, I liked it. It got ripped to shreds by the critics. Of course it wasn’t Oscar worthy. It was purely for entertainment.  The humor is pretty old-school which you rarely see these days. They don’t spoon-feed the audience a lot of obvious HAW and BAHAHAHA moments which is what makes this movie clever. Loved the way it was shot, especially the cut scenes where the director really had some fun. For those of you who enjoy comedy on many different levels, this one is a must.

Casa de mi Padre is a spoof of soap operas, the ones in Latin America in particular, and westerns. If you have seen these novellas or soap operas you will know that they over-react like a mother. Scenes are drawn out more than that have too and dramatic music is overplayed and overused.  However, it’s all in good fun.  The movie does ridiculous stuff such as obvious fake backgrounds, revealing the camera crew in reflections and obviously fake animals in the scenery.

“Casa de mi Padre” is a bizarre experiment but it works. The film is played VERY seriously while insanely stupid things happen all around him. It’s very surreal and very odd–and the sort of experiment many will find baffling and unfunny. However, you got to see it as it is. And what it is trying to do.

This film is based on clichés and is predictable. It is the way Ferrel portraits his character with HIS kind of humor. Mixed with typical buildups and “one-take” shots, seen in Mexican movies and Spanish series… The facial expressions and timing makes this film. It’s not a bad film but it is a mater of taste.

I can’t help it I am a sucker for retarded things.


Thursday Movie Review-Change the Name to Almost Scary

Lately I have been watching a lot of movies. I am trying to catch up on all the ones I have missed. I been working hard on developing the perfect queue in my Netflix account.  Its hard work but someone has to do it. This week I saw the movie Devil.

First I have to say that I have general respect for director, M. Night Shyamalan. He has made some really good movies in my opinion.   The Sixth Sense, Signs, Unbreakable,  and even The Village were some thrilling movies.

So I was excited about the mysterious movie entitled Devil. Who wouldn’t be?

It’s firstly narrated in the beginning with a story a mother told about the devil. You know old Mexican folklore. The Devil roams around the world looking for bad individuals to torture.   The story seems to center around a detective who still grieving for his wife and son, killed in a hit-and-run five years ago.

The scene fades to what seems to be a typical day at the office takes a sudden detour into terror when the elevator becomes stuck between floors.  Right before that, a stranger jumps out of the building so the detective is sent to investigate.  Meanwhile, the five strangers who are trapped in the elevator and nothing seems to improve their situation.

The communication radio in the elevator is broken but the guards observe the individuals through the security cameras. Tensions run high among those trapped, so  the police and the detective assume the case. Without being able to contact the individuals, he tries to work out who they are, but he can only account for four of them.

Then they just start miraculously dying. The lights go out and boom one dies. And every one is a suspect.

All the while the one Hispanic security cop is freaking out because he recognizes the Devil’s work when he sees it.

There were a few parts that were intense or chilling. However it wasn’t enough. The five strangers were good enough actors and it felt that the plot was being hurried along.

Not only that I felt the movie was being spoiled by the actual cast. They basically were telling you what was going to happen in the story!

This movie had so much potential. People stuck in an elevator against the Devil!! Crazy concept. But I felt the opportunity to make this a good film was missed.  I was disappointed that the film is very light in the scare factor. In fact one of the trailers before the film elicited a bigger scare factor for a particular gentleman than anything found in DEVIL.

To make a movie (a horror movie)about the Devil, you gotta actually read the Devil’s resume!!

So in a nut shell: It’s tense but it rarely scares because all the truly horrifying things happen off camera. People only get killed when the lights go out, so you don’t actually see the deaths. There’s never a moment that’ll make you jump in your seat.  It has to go dark or you’ll know who the murderer is, and DEVIL executes those moments well, it’s just not able to make them scary. Maybe there isn’t a way to make them scary. Maybe it isn’t trying to be scary. Maybe they don’t need to be scary.

But horror movies….. YES they need to be scary! Especially if they are called DEVIL!!!!

What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?

Obviously I have been doing nothing but watching scary movies, well you know,  besides eating.

Of course this isn't me. I swallow hot dogs whole.


I asked a bunch of people what their favorite scary movies are.

My husband said Brokeback Mountain and the ending of Boogie Nights.

Not only have I been watching scary movies but I watched the many channels’ lists on the to scary movies. So I have until today … no wait, til the end of the week to continue to scare the shit out of myself.

So I developed a list in case you were doing the same. You know… brain washing yourself.

11. Fallen

Det. John Hobbes is convinced that when killer Edgar Reese is executed, all of his troubles are over. But when people he knows and people on the street start to sing the same tune that Reese sang in the gas chamber, and those same people taunt him, he is told that maybe the cursed fallen angel Azazel is behind it all.

This demon/angel can pass from person to person. So this cat and mouse games  drives you crazy through the whole movie.

This movie is eerie. It’s more of a suspense thriller but it keeps you captivated and enthralled the entire movie. The Rolling Stones song that is featured in the movie, “Time is on my side” still freaks me out.

10. Seven

Se7en follows the story of two homicide detectives tracking down a sadistic serial killer who chooses his victims according to the seven deadly sins. This thriller portrays the exploits of a deranged serial-killer. His twisted agenda involves choosing seven victims who represent egregious examples of transgressions of each of the Seven Deadly Sins. He then views himself as akin to the Sword of God, handing out horrific punishment to these sinners.

Fucking creepy!! The whole movie is just dark and edgy! Your heart is constantly beating in this movie. Kevin Spacey who plays the killer freaks me out in this movie. He is nuts!!!


A young family are visited by ghosts in their home. At first the ghosts appear friendly, moving objects around the house to the amusement of everyone, then they turn nasty and start to terrorise the family before they “kidnap” the youngest daughter.

Anything that involves children is scary. Anything that involves this little girl is freaky!! I barely saw this movie recently and I was amazed that this 80’s movie was so good! I loved it!!

And was creeped out by it as well.  In fact, I will never look at closets the same way.

8. The Orphanage

Laura, a former orphan, raises her adopted son Simón together with her husband Carlos in an old house and former orphanage where she was raised. While at the orphanage Simón tells Laura that he has five invisible friends which she believes are a product of his active imagination. Laura decides to reopen the orphanage to cater for disabled children and throws a party. During the party Simón tries to persuade Laura to go and take a look at his friends cabin but she’s too busy. Later on she sees a mysterious masked boy and realizes that Simón has also disappeared.

This masked boy is the most scariest thing ever!! This movie is totally trippy but actually had a god ending.

Bottom line: Children are scary.

7. Rosemary’s Baby

Rosemary and Guy Woodhouse move into an apartment in a building with a bad reputation. They discover that their neighbours are a very friendly elderly couple named Roman and Minnie Castevet, and Guy begins to spend a lot of time with them. Strange things start to happen: a woman Rosemary meets in the washroom dies a mysterious death, Rosemary has strange dreams and hears strange noises and Guy becomes remote and distant. Then Rosemary falls pregnant and begins to suspect that her neighbours have special plans for her child.

This movie, for being old, is pretty good. I spent a lot of the time being angry because no one was helping the mother!!

In the end, you are pretty creeped out.

Never fucking trust the neighbors. Especially if they are old.

6. The Haunting in Connecticut

The Campbell family moves to upstate Connecticut, they soon learn that their charming Victorian home has a disturbing history: not only was the house a transformed funeral parlor where inconceivable acts occurred, but the owner’s clairvoyant son Jonah served as a demonic messenger, providing a gateway for spiritual entities to crossover. Now terror awaits when Jonah, the boy who communicated with the dead, returns to unleash horror on the innocent and unsuspecting family.

I seriously had to stop this movie a few times.  I was freaked out. To think that it might based on a true story. Geez people don’t move into old houses.

5.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1974

A group of five hippies on a road trip through the backwaters of 1970’s rural Texas fall prey to a murderous cannibalistic family making up of a leather-masked chainsaw-wielding maniac, his knife-wielding grave robber brother, and their cannibal chief father and decaying grandfather.

Slasher movies don’t really scare me as you will tell from my list because other than this one there will not be any listed, but this version gives me chills. The Chainsaw Massacre is beyond creepy. Its disturbing. All the characters in the movie are deeply mental. It also sends a very clear message.

Never pick up a hitchhiker! Seriously… you may never know if they belong to an inbred family or not!!! Or if they have a brother who likes to chain saw the crap out of people.

4. The Shining

A family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter where an evil and spiritual presence influences the father into violence, while his psychic son sees horrific forebodings from the past and of the future.

I love this movie. Its brilliant!  Jack never ceases to stop scaring, Wendy is scary just looking at her, and their little boy is freakin weird!!!

I freak out when my girls say Red Rum.

Do!! Stay in huge hotels in the middle of nowhere!!!

3.  Insidious

A gripping story of a family in search of help for their son, Dalton, who fell into a mysterious coma on one ordinary morning. Little do they know that there is much more to this endless sleep than meets the eye as they explore the paranormal, and rediscover the past; the key to getting their son back once and for all.

Yes this movie is fairly new. However, when I saw this movie, I could not sleep for like a week straight! Seriously. I had every light on the house. I never entered a dark room. The demon in this movie is beyond the scariest I have ever seen. I don’t even wanna think of him. All I see it red!!!

Oh my god…. everything is scary in this movie! Everything. It’s by far one of the greatest super natural horror movies in a while.

I don’t wanna talk about it. After all, its Halloween.

2. The Grudge

An American nurse living and working in Tokyo is exposed to a mysterious supernatural curse, one that locks a person in a powerful rage before claiming their life and spreading to another victim.

Let me tell you this movie scarred me for life. I will never see this movie again. Why? So I can imagine little Asian people in the corners of the roof! Fuck no!! Asian people are scary!! Enough said. Especially if they can distort their faces and head!!

Again, I will never see this movie again! Never!!

1. The movie that freaked me out the most…. The Ring

A mysterious video tape is killing off anyone who watches it. Whenever the victim watches it, the phone rings, telling them they have only one week to live. A young reporter named Rachel is investigating these events, but after she and her small son watch the tape, it becomes a race against time to find out why the tape is killing everyone and how it could be stopped.

First off, the girl in the story? Whoa whoa whoa! Who is fucked up enough to come up with this!?!??!  It’s not just the supernatural forces but also  the mystery.  Everyone’s scariest scene is a movie is when the girl is walking down the stairs from the Exorcist. Mine is when the girl coming out of the tv on all fours… and water is everywhere.

OMG…. I am need a hug.

So this was my list.

Give me a few of your scary movies!!!

Thursday Movie Review-Jesus Was a Capricorn

So for another TV-less night I picked to review the controversial movie called Monty Python’s Life of Brian.

It would help to be familiar with Monty Python and their satire and humor. I never was into them in the past. I had seen a few of their shows and some of their movies. It isn’t until recently that I reopened my door to them and started to discover the actual humor. It’s corny but pretty intelligent and witty.  I actually found  the movie pretty funny! You have to listen closely cause of their quick wit and heavy ass British accents… but if you do, you will hear jabs at religious customs and overall funny scenarios.

 Brian is born the same day as The Messiah in fact in the next stable.  He then spends his life being mistaken as the Messiah.

Brian’s mother is played by a dude. That’s actually really funny.

So anyways, the wise men come bearing gifts. They discuss the he is a Capricorn. Then the “mother” tries to kick them out.

Wise Man #1: We were led by a star.
Brian’s mother: Led by a bottle, more like.

Then they realize they got the wrong manager and come back and take all the gifts from Brian’s mother.  This is how Brian’s  life goes.

My favorite scene is when Brian and his “mother” come home , they find a  Roman officer in their house. The “mother” is somewhat of a prostitute. Brian gets mad and she reveals that his father is not who he thinks it is but is actually a Roman officer called Naughtius Maximus.

Brian gasps, ” You were raped??”

The “mother” replies, “At first….”

I almost died. 

Another funny part was a scene at a stoning. They were stoning a man for blasphemy.  Back in the day, the religious leaders had distorted rules and laws that were actually stupid and quite harsh on the people. For instance, you could not say God’s name out loud.

The man about to be stoned replies, “Why am I being stoned? All I said to my wife was, “This meal is so good it’s fit for Jehovah.”

Someone in the crowd says. “He said Jehovah ! Stone him.” And he gets stoned. The Religious Leader says Do not say Jehovah then the people pelt him with stones.

Its dumb but so funny.

The story goes on to tell of how the Jews are sick of the Romans.  People are pretty gullible, searching for a “leader”, so they decide Brian is going to be the Messiah. He cannot convince them he is not. He joins the Peoples’ Front of Judea, one of several dozen separatist groups who actually do nothing, but really hate the Romans. While not about Jesus,  the movie is about those who hadn’t time, or interest to listen to his message.

Oh yea!! And you see Brian completely naked from head to toe and the girl he sleeps with…. Cheers for the British!!

Anyways, Brian is helpless to change the people’s minds, as his every word and action are immediately seized as a point of doctrine.

For instance…

Brian: I’m not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, fuck off!
Arthur: How shall we fuck off, O Lord?

 Hahahaha  classic!!

Romans finally catch the hapless Brian and he is scheduled to be crucified. Pontius Pilate asks the crowd whom he should pardon, but is fed various “fake” names intended to highlight his strong lisp, much to the their amusement. Pilate eventually orders Brian’s release, but in a moment parodying the climax of the film Spartacus, the various crucified people all claim to be “Brian of Nazareth”, and the wrong man is released. Abandoned by anyone who might be able to help him, the actual Brian remains hanging in the hot sun, and is told by his fellow sufferers, in song, to “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”.

They all break into song!

I was like … is he singing??

He is! He is fucking singing!!

I liked this movie. It was right up my alley with poking fun at religion and even politics.

Just make sure it’s really .. really quiet when you see it.

Always look on the bright side of death… life is a piece of shit when you look at it!”



Thursday Movie Review-OMFG You All Owe Me Big

Oh hell yea I just blasphemed. I make it art!

Before I jump into my movie review I gotta get into this whole Netflix spill.

Inflation affects us all-I got about a month left before I am gonna cancel Netflix. $16 is retarded! I am now a product of inflation! Shit I might have to actually give a shit about voting next year!

Mother Fucker!


Three Words for you…

The Human Centipede.


Two more words.

Holy Shit!

A mad scientist kidnaps and mutilates a trio of tourists in order to reassemble them into a new “pet”– a human centipede, created by stitching their mouths to each others’ assholes!

I had heard of this movie before and was freaked out. I did a little research on it and knew that if I was going to see this movie, I would have to be prepared.

So what did I do?

1.Changed a shit load of shit filled diapers compliments of my baby boy. Also at the same time, my youngest had a stomach flu with diarrhea!! Golden!!

2. Saw the clip, 2 Girls 1 Cup, a few extra times.

3. Lingered on the scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where the girl is covered in weird ass bugs.

The movie was directed and produced by Tom Six. He already sounds like a serial killer to me.

As the movie begins, you meet the crazed doctor who is crying over a picture of dogs that are lined up head to butt.  He is pulled off by a side of the road in his car. Behind him, a truck driver in a 18 wheeler pulls up behind and jumps out with toilet paper in hand and heads for the nearby forest area to take a shit. Obviously.

Two things:

1. Truck drivers will take a crap anywhere.

2. I will check my shoes constantly for now on.

The crazed scientist comes out with a gun and tranquilized the man.

Scene fades.

It then opens up to two girls in a hotel room. They are visiting in Germany traveling through Europe.  As soon as these chicks start talking, I knew I was going to be labeling these two as horrible actresses. So obviously what saves this movie is how mental the scientist is and now the charismatic acting on these ladies parts.

Seriously its bad. Like porn movie bad.  I could have sworn I saw one of the girls look at the camera.

As you follow the movie, these girls are making arrangements to go to a club. So how they end up isolated from traffic, in a forest, in a deserted road is really beyond me.

Icing on this porn cake? They get a flat tire.

Oh, and they have no cell signal!

What a setup!

The funniest part out of this whole movie is that as soon as they are bitching that they have a flat tire, a car comes rolling by. The car stops adjacent to the girls car. The girls ask the man in English if he can help them with their flat tire. He doesn’t speak English but remarks in German that they are the same bitches on his porn video at home.

The whole time the girls are asking for help and he is talking about fucking them. Ha ha. Its funny.

Once that is all over with, and the guy realizes he ain’t getting laid and drives off, the girls decide to walk and see if they can find someone to help them.

And in between the acting is still bad!

They find a house and lo and behold it’s the doctor’s house.

They explain to the doctor their situation.

He is an asshole from the beginning and asks them two questions.

1. Are you alone?

The bitches say yes! Sigh…. And that is why they will die!

2. Are you tourists?

These bitches end up telling this dude their whole life story. Its exasperating because this is what I am working with. I would have made them into a centipede too. Wait no, I would have stuck to mammals.

He pretends to call a tow truck or something and slips a roofie (date rape drug in their drinks).

This got me thinking… I don’t drink water. I would have been awesome in this situation. I also find it extremely interesting that he keeps the drug in a regular drawer in his kitchen.

One girl passes out quickly. The doctor begins explaining to the one still awake that he slipped them a drug.


And there it begins.

He gets another tourist. A Japanese dude that does not speak English or German.

Once he has them all in the bed, the doctor explains exactly what he is going to do.

He is apparently the best surgeon and specializes in separating Siamese twins. However he wants to conjoin a being to make a centipede. He tried with his three Rottweilers but they died. So he is going to make a centipede out of humans.  He explains that he will attach their mouths to each other’s assholes. So when one eats and finally shits, the shit they shit will feed the next person and so on.

Follow me?!?

It’s fucking nuts, I know. He arranged them Japanese guy first, then the two girls.

I don’t know about you but I found this rude. This rich pompous prick doesn’t have the decency to put the guy at the end?!! I’m just flabbergasted of his manners.

Once his creation is made, he cries “out of joy” for this is his life’s work!!

And of course, you see the Japanese dude claiming to have to take a shit and the one girl swallowing it.


Germans are freaks!!!

As usual police start sniffing around and visit the doctor who basically ruins his cover by acting so narcotic. They get suspicious and promise to back with a warrant.

Meanwhile, his centipede has gotten his tools used in surgery and attacks him when he comes back.

Then the Japanese gives an Oscar worthy performance telling the doctor that he deserves this fate. He was selfish and has forsaken his family. He deserves to die and he cuts his own throat. The girl in the back is  also dying from poison.

Cops confront the doctor and they all end up dead from a shoot out.

The girl in the middle is left with a dead head (lol) and the girl behind her dying shortly after that.

The Freakin End.

Even though I was able to laugh at a lot in the movie, it was disturbing. And very suspenseful. I was on edge the whole time. It was also terribly creepy .

So I survived the movie… I am not so much as grossed out as I am looking over my shoulder making sure no one wants to make me into a fucking centipede.

I still don’t  get it .. why a centipede?? Spiders are totally cooler.

I think the lesson here is not to travel to Europe. Haven’t y’all seen Hostel?!? Those Europeans are crazy!

P.S. You all owe me for this one. I had to sleep with a machete!

Thursday Movie Review-Blame Wednesday TV

Wednesdays are crap for TV. I could watch Storage Wars but I never know when comes on and it’s just too much hassle to remember. So I was forced to make it a Netflix night. Netflix “thinks” it knows me and made the decision to recommend some movies to me under the Independent genre. So sure why not.

As I went through the list, I looked for familiar titles. I however am a person who judges a book by its cover type of gal. So I picked this movie.


Obviously the almost nudity caught my eye. So of course I tuned in. Beats paying 10.99 for a porn! As the movie started I started to regret my decision because I instantly thought they had put a half naked chick on the movie to reel you in. Then you find actors who can’t act worth shit, a plot that stinks, and a movie that was made on $12 budget. I know because  I have made home movies on a budget of $20 and let me tell you, the quality was superb. Anything less would have been crap! Take my word for it.

The Babysitters  stars John Leguizamo and  Cynthia Nixon. It was about a young girl that babysits for a family. When the father of the family takes her home, they talk and have somewhat of a cheesy connection.


The next time she babysits, they do it. Groan! A little too quick for my taste but whatever. Can we the audience savor the moment?!?

Each time they have sex and he drives her home, he gives her “her babysitting money” which is like $200.  Yeah! I know! Soon he asks her if she has any friends that will “babysit” for his friends.  And so she basically starts a business in her school with a few of her friends and they make cash! They babysit a couples’ kids and then the father drives them home, then boom! They get it on! Shirley (the main girl) is their pimp! She even takes a cut from their earnings!!!

It’s too late to be a pimp myself, but imagine the power!!!!

However as she creates this lucrative business some of the girls try to start their own business on the side.  Then she becomes this ruthless madame and regains control. She does this all being calm, cool, and collective. 

She has very smart rules and seems to know how to handle every situation. I am impressed  because she is only a senior. As a senior I couldn’t do algebra to save my life and she is running a business!!!

The whole time I am panicking cause I am waiting for shit to hit the fan. It does but not in the way you expect it.  When shit kinda hits the fan, the neighbors could hear me yelling, “Kids muffin ears!! Holy shit Holy shit!”

And then it kinda just all goes away…. like that’s how it ends.

I liked the movie. It was intense and interesting but it made me call my husband a hundred times. Each time I woke him up. I decided he was very sleepy and angry for being woken up and it was obvious he was not in the  mood  for having sex with someone. So I quit bothering him.

I give this movie a thumbs up. Watch it you are bored and want someone thing weird like teenagers having sex with fathers that are married.

Oh yea, there was a nude scene. Took long enough but it finally happened. It was nice. Especially since she had a nice flat stomach. Her boobs were big. I had to pause the movie because even though they were big they looked kinda weird. I am not sure what it was. I don’t know if one was bigger than the other or what. I don’t know if a nipple was lighter than the other. It could have been the lighting. If that’s the case , the director needs to get on that.  

So I say sure why the hell not.

Moral of the story: Don’t fucking hire a babysitter!!


It’s True … I watch way too much tv

This weeks blogs have been for crap.

I don’t think today will be any better. I lack any opinion for anything today. Nada. Zip.

Obama. Eh.

Oprah. Eh

William and Kate. Double Eh

American Idol. Eh.

You catch my drift.


Yesterday on my way home, I witnessed a police car chase. You know, they aren’t as exciting as I thought it would be.

I got a really good look at the driver. He was driving in a Ford Red old pick up truck. He looked like he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He also  looked white. That’s important I guess. What stuck me was the fact that he had his elbow on the window seal thing.  Like he runs from the cops all the time. I didn’t see him once looking back or have an uneasy look. No he was sitting back staring straight ahead. From the looks of it, he wasn’t even speeding!  At least, he didn’t look like it.

In all honesty, what gave him away was the troopers with their sirens on that were right on his ass.

As soon as I realized what it was, I was like ‘Oooo a police car chase!’

However that feeling quickly evaporated.  What happened to the swivering crazily, the helicopters  in the sky, crashes, explosions, shooting between the cars. I really feel as if Bad Boys lied to me.

This is not real folks.

How can I even watch Bad Boys again? Now a doubt has been planted  in my mind. Now I am questioning everything. My world is spinning!  Is it getting hot in here?!

Pretty soon, you people are going to tell me that Snooki is real, that Brad and Jennifer Aniston broke up, that Ricky Martin is gay! Get the fuck out!


You know what makes my day?

Hilarious tweets. I try to say funny shit as randomly as I possibly can. To be retweeted is the ultimate high!  Here is what I tweeted this morning. For once, it was true!!/posterofagirl7/status/40775865235292160

And people retweeted this. Granted this wasn’t my best. I have many others:!/posterofagirl7/status/39415580738064384!/posterofagirl7/status/6070006961938432!/posterofagirl7/status/20893896022

Just one more thing to make my life purposeful. Especially since TV is not failing me.

Public Service Announcement on Celebrities:Who cares?! Obviously you do.

Normally I would consider this a sin but I wanted to repost this cause I actually liked what I wrote. How many times can you say that huh?

So here is me rebloging my self from today’s Marina’s Column at or here at the shortlink:

Public Service Announcement on Celebrities: Who Cares?!?! Obviously you.

February 18, 2011
Marina Y Sanchez
Freelance Columnist

I am stooping to a new low. I am commenting on some celebrities lives. I know, I know. I have not been smoking the pipe though it would probably make this column funnier but it just has to be said. So here it goes:

I am so over the obsession that people have with celebrities. It’s ridiculous. Some people (that’s all they do)  state their opinion over and over and over (you get my point) and then basically have battles over these celebrities on who is right and who is wrong!

Are you kidding me?!

Here’s a question. Don’t you have anything better to do? You know, that thing you call life? Yeah, it’s out there. And you’re missing it cause your following every item, every detail, every news report on these celebrities who (now brace yourself): DON’T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOU!

Here you are going to bat, going to defend them and their honor and do you even know them? Do you talk to them? And not just my email or tweeter but really in person? Cause that’s what I constitute as a friend -someone I truly know. Not some one I have met periodically and know casually of. That is just sad!

Examples I am sick of: Lee Ann Rimes,  Eddie Something and Brandi something or other. God someone told the media that they are so important they have to be everywhere. It’s a must. Doesn’t their story have a expiration date coming up soon?

And really, is their situation so important that people have to comment,  have to somehow defend them? They have people that they pay to do that for them. PAY!

 It’s called Public Relations!

Let’s break down this situation. Lee Ann Rimes and Eddie Whatever cheated on their spouses with each other. Ok, let me name fifty other people who did this in under 60 seconds.


JFK, Jesse James, Elizabeth Taylor, Jack Nicholson, Donald Trump, Princess Diana, Woody Allen, Hugh Grant, J-Lo, Jude Law, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie,  Spelling, Meg Ryan, Anne Heche and whew! And there is a bunch more. Hmmm, do you think they are getting hate mail?  Hmm do you think people are defending them?

Media puts it out there so of course its in our faces. Yet, we do have a little thing called choice. A choice to ignore.

I am in no way defending cheaters. Who could do that? To cheat on someone is obviously a problem someone has within themselves. It’s their personal demon. Did you see what I just said?  Their personal demon. That’s right. Not yours. Not even their mamas. Just theirs.

Cause while you are battling it out defending these celebrities honor, they are probably walking the red carpet, posing in a shoot, eating at The Garden. And no they are not at the computer cheering you on. Cause that would be loosery (I just made that up) and that’s not what celebrities do.

Again, in no way am I defending their actions.  I just think they are big boys and girls that can defend themselves. And as sad as it is, this happens all the time to people everyday. So are you rooting for them? Cause I bet they can use a phone call right about now.

And how about this airing of dirty laundry for the public to see? Both parties in this particular situation are doing this. Why? Maybe cause it’s petty, maybe so it keeps them famous, or maybe because they are so angry they NEED to do this. During these situations, maturity level dwindles. It takes a very SPECIAL person to be the bigger man. And until I meet that person, it doesn’t exist. Both parties have some fault. And people need to recognize this. If these celebrities stop airing out their dirty laundry, you will have nothing to talk about. And honestly, this blog would have been about how Thursday nights are the best nights for TV!

I’ll be honest. I am a fan of a few celebrities. I like Kim Kardashian. I like Sandra Bullock. I’ll follow them on twitter. Still there is a fine line between being a fan and being an obsessive fan.  As much as I like them, I won’t comment on anything they do because quite honestly, I really could care less.  

In conclusion, I hope you see how human celebrities are. And in reality, who are we to judge? Their lives are much more scrutized than ours. That’s pressure. So yea I might not like what they do (I am still hurt Brad left Jennifer), but in reality I could give rat’s ass. Cause they ain’t paying my bills.

I promise I do have better things to talk about like child abuse and how it needs to end, or the murders in Juarez, Mexico or how I just love me some fried chicken.

Missing in Las Vegas

It was a cold and dreary night in the god forsaken town. I was at my usual place Barney’s Pub doing my usual thing. Downing a couple of glasses of my favorite whiskey, Hiram Walker.

I was on the job. I was always on the job. Tomorrow I would be heading to Las Vegas, the city of sin. Not for pleasure. Never for pleasure. I was working on two missing person cases. I was the best. That’s why they called. They never stopped calling. I was the miniature Columbo. Wait, who the fuck knows Columbo? I don’t even know who the hell that is. Oh, that’s right the short chubby guy with the squinty eyes.  I needed to practice my squinting.

As I looked into my glass watching the ice slide back and forth, I ran through the facts of the Las Vegas case.

Las Vegas Case: Woman, late twenties (?), mother of three, married, and enjoying the sin city life in Las Vegas. She went by Thypolar.  Last seen in LA in Disneyland. It was like she disappeared into thin air.

I lit my cigarette. Her life seemed perfect. Perfect family, perfect home, perfect life. A little too perfect if you ask me.

Something was not right … and I could fill it in my bones. I threw a twenty on the bar table and walked out.

 I walked through the alley pulling my coat up. Time to get down to business.

I arrived in sunny Las Vegas. I wasn’t in the mood for this sunny shit. I may have stuck out like a sore thumb standing outside the airport hailing a cab in my fedora and trench coat. I didn’t care. My game face was on.

My first stop was the taco stand that Thypolar was known to hang out at.  I questioned the strange Mexican about the whereabouts of Thypolar. What an idiot! I don’t speak Spanish.

Holding her pic, “Have you seen her? Her? Seen? With your eyes man, no I don’t want a damn taco. Focus! Look look at the pic!”

The Mexican man stared dumbfounded at me. We were getting no where.

“Does she eat tacos here?”

“Oh, si si,” the man finally responded.

“When? Cuando? ” I stammered.

“Diez dias mas o menos.” That sounded a bout right. I took a taco from the persistent bastard. Damn they were good.

The next stop was the corner of Eighth and Fremont. I needed to try all avenues.  I got out of the cab, lit a cigarette and walked toward the woman in cut off leopard print blouse, leather red skirt and holed panty hose.

“Hey baby, you looking for a good time?’

I laughed, “Sure if you’re looking for a good time in the house.” I showed her my badge.

She immediately backed away yelling, “Hey man I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Not yet you haven’t. Come here I need to ask you a few questions.”

She rolled her eyes and slowly approached me, “Hey I said I didn’t do anything?”

“I didn’t say you did. Now look at this picture. Have you seen this woman? She is missing. I am looking for her.”

The girl looked at it then looked away right away, “Nah man I never seen her.”

I didn’t believe her. “You know I can get you for lying to an officer of the law. How bout this? You tell me what I wanna know and I’ll make it worth your while. How much do you charge for small time action these days?”

“I start at $20.”

“Then there you go.” I handed her the money. “Now tell me, have you seen this woman before? Don’t tell me you haven’t. Thats not what I wanna hear!”

“Yeah yeah I know her. She is The Don.”

“The what?”

“The Don! You know The Don. She runs the streets here in Vegas. This is her territory. Man, I can’ be talking to a cop. She will kill me!” She started walking away.

I grabbed her arm. “You mean to tell me she is a pimp. Your pimp?”

“Something like that. She is like the Las Vegas mayor. But on the streets. Man can I go?”

“One more question. When is the last time you saw her?”

“I gave her money on Saturday. No wait Sunday. My dues were due and I took them to her Sunday.”

“Did you see her or did you give your money to one of her henchmen?”

“Nah man I said I saw her. She even gave me this blouse. I ain’t lying. Now I am fucking leaving. I gotta work!”

I let her go. I had all that I needed to know.

Thypolar aka was The Don in Vegas. She ran the strip joint. Yeah, I heard of the The Don. I heard of the The Don’s temper. You don’t fuck with The Don or you could end up in the truck of a Caddy. The Don ran everything in Vegas. The girls, the strip, casinos, you don’t move with out The Don knowing.

Question is … why would The Don come up missing?

I ran into the street hailing a cab. I need to get to the nearest bar quick. I needed to think.

This case just got a whole lot more interesting!

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