In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Posts tagged ‘Ramblings’

29 and Deep Fried

This past Sunday was my birthday. I turned 29 years old.

Weird.

Skunks

Who imagines being alive this long? Surely I would have been killed in a traffic accident or something gang related, but no I am still here … turning 29 years old.  I am scared to get older… who isn’t? However I think I am more in shock. Wasn’t I just 16 years old like yesterday? Wasn’t turning 21 while breast-feeding still like an hour ago?

Time has passed before my very eyes… and I now have been  alive 29 years. What the….

The shock has not subsided.

So…. I didn’t do anything to celebrate my birthday. I couldn’t.

Friday I went into panic year before 30 years old panic. I went to the store and bought all these facial creme and washes because if I am going to turn 29 years old I am going to damn well look at least 26! I was gone ho to start taking care of my skin, use the appropriate aging products and all that jazz.

I applied it Friday night, Saturday morning, then spent all afternoon  in the sun. And my facial wash and creme baked on my face  BURNING THE SHIT OUT OF MY FACE especially MY EYE LIDS! My eyelids were dark, wrinkled and puffy.

I aged 70 years  over night. Or got in a fight or cried my eyes out.

I was hideous! There was no way in hell I was going anywhere. And the whole situation made  me more mopey and depressed. I was so sad.

My hubby promised to make it all up to me next weekend, when I won’t look like a deep-fried chick.

Truth is, I don’t feel any different.  In my mind I am still 19. I will probably forever feel 19. The physical part is changing…. and I am trying to will it as much as I can. I honestly want to be fine with getting older but who knows when I will come to terms with it. Once being young is done, its done.

All I ask now is that convenience store clerk card… card the shit outta me please!!

28 Years Later-This is Me

Tomorrow I am 28 years old.

Who knew I would have lived to be a quarter of a century and then some?

Am I surprised? A little. A palm reader told me I would die in a car crash but she assured me I wouldn’t see it coming or feel any pain. It will be instant. I would be too busy listening to music.

That may or may not be the truth but I am totally cool with it happening that way. As long as no one is with me at the time, I am totally cool!

I won’t kid you, the older I get, the more anxious I get. It’s scary getting old. Somehow your whole being becomes a battle field. In your mind, you can still do things as you were able to when you were much younger. However, your body disagrees. I am trying to stay busy and active and at the end of the day I am shocked that my body is rebelling.

I can’t say that I am fully accepting getting older because I haven’t.

What I will say is I do feel wiser. Not wise just wiser. And honestly this is the first time I am feeling this.

Lately I feel like I have been challenged based on what I know or what I believe.  I am also surprised by my answers.

Here is what I learned:

Don’t rule out people completely. They may surprise you.

It’s not that I’m negative nor am I a pity party but I am not used to people doing anything for me. I don’t expect anything from anyway. That’s just the way I am. I am always the giver. I love being the giver.  However, I have learned how to recently receive. Not just in material things but the kindness of people is so overwhelming. I can’t believe I am being thought of.

Practice patience.

I am still learning this one. I am not a perfectionist by far but I love things to be perfect. For instance, I NEED to have the house cleaned, dinner hot and ready when my hubby comes home. I am psycho like that. I want things to always be perfect for him. Always. It stresses me out when they aren’t.  Yet, I need to understand that not everyone is on my time-table. Patience with the little people, I say to myself.

I also need to be patient with my children. Especially with them. I am so busy trying to make everything perfect I don’t stop and just patiently listen to them, patiently let them do something, and patiently let them be kids. Patience is teaching me to not worry so much about the people I don’t want them to be and actually start concentrating on the people that they are.

Let Loose.

I seriously need to drink more. I need to have fun. My life is fleeting. Pretty soon I will just have memories and I need to entertain my grandchildren with something.

Accepting Myself

Since I was younger, I was always being concerned with being liked, with being a nice person. I would take it to heart when someone would say something against me or if someone didn’t like me. I am always paranoid about that.

Why?

Because I wanted to just be this great person.

Little do I do that I am actually doing it.

This is who I am now. I need to accept this is me. I am nice enough. I am good enough. The good person that I was always striving to be exists in me. I am already there. If I stay on this path, I can’t lose.

I am sure there is more that I have learned but this is what I have been thinking of lately.

I can be cool with getting older because that’s just another journey. And who is up for another adventure?!

If it doesn’t work out, I will just move to Montana, find a secluded cabin in the woods, and maybe kick the bucket fighting off a bear Legend of the Fall style!!

Actors & Actresses That If They Die I Will Cry My Eyes

Several days ago, it was announced that Comedian Phyllis Diller had passed away.

I really wasn’t familiar with her.

Then Neil Armstrong died. And even though he was an American hero I didn’t witness him walking the moon and he was always apart of history for me.

We seem to be losing many good people. It got me thinking… who would I just freakin balls to the wall cry over if they died?

So I complied a small list of people that I will definitely cry if they kick the bucket!

Steve Martin

I never saw him on Saturday Night Live but I was able to catch reruns. Every movie he has been has been hilarious.  Steve is a big part of my childhood tv/movie watching growing up. I loved The Jerk, The Man with Two Brains,  Three Amigos,  Roxanne, Father of the Bride. He is just an distinguished part of comedy. And he is part of that generation which includes Chevy Chase, Martin Short, and Dan Aykroyd.

Which brings me to my next actor…

Dan Aykroyd

I always saw him as the type of father I wanted.  All his characters were comforting to me and made me laugh as well. He is just a big part of movies for me. I can’t see not watching him in any type of film. Blues Brothers is one my favorite movies. It was something that even as child I understood that a movie like this would be seen as a classic later. And I cherished Blues Brothers. Then we had great comedic movies like Coneheads, Ghostbusters, The Great Outdoors, and one of my favorite movies My Girl.  With Dan, I will be depressed if he ever dies.

Dick Van Dyke

I will so cry if he dies. One word: Mary Poppins!!

He made me love him. He swept me off my feet at like 5 years old.  Then he made Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Oh God… please don’t die Dick. You were the ultimate man to me at 5 years old and you still old. Wait til I go first… I am almost 30!!!

Julie Andrews

Til this day, I can honestly say I never have had any one take my breath as Julie Andrews. She is the interpretation of beauty. I don’t understand why she is not the Queen of England. I was amazed by her beauty, grace, pose, and her wonderful voice. I loved her in movies like Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music. I feel like she was from an age that no longer exists with classic beauties like Judy Garland, Katherine Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, Natalie Wood.

Clint Eastwood

My father forced me to watch westerns so thanks Dad because I never would have seen Clint in his best! Clint was the super hero, the bad ass, the CIA agent of that time. He was thrilling to watch and even now the movies he touch are pure gold.

I am sure there are more but these were the greatest examples of generation slowly passing on by. There are many new actors and actresses that I love now but its nothing like these few. These just didn’t entertain but stole the heart.

Are there any that you can name?

Friday Nonesense of Wasting Your Time: You’re Welcome!

Inspired by Irene’s post yesterday, I too will take the challenge. I too will give you useless drivel about me. Not only will it have no affect on your sleep, but you will continue on with your day as if nothing happened.

How is that not a deal?!?!?

Nothing for nothing!!

So, the rules of this “tag-you’re-it” are:

1. Post the rules. Check!!

2. Post 11 facts about yourself. Awesome! I love talking about myself… that’s why I have a blog!

3. Answer the questions the tagger has put in their post and come up with 11 of your own for those who you tag. I’m not tagging shit people! This is effort-free Friday.

4. Tag 11 people and put them in your post. How about no and say I did?

5. Let them know you’ve tagged them. Sighhhhhhhh

So awesome things about me so you will like me are:

1. I am obsessed with food. It’s a wonder why I am not 437lbs!!

2. I love my kids more than anything in the world… but my iPhone is a close second.

3. I have been attacked by one dog in my life. A fucking Cocker Spaniel! Seriously!!

4. I love babies. That’s probably why I had so many kids. So if you don’t want yours, I will gladly take your baby!

5. I am trying real hard to become an alcoholic. I keep forgetting to drink! And believe me, I have reason in the world to be the President of AAA!

6. I like to make CD’s for people of music I like. Except no one likes my music and I don’t  know anyone who would like me to make a CD for them. I used to make mixed tapes all the time.

7. I have an obsession with planes. I could watch them land and take off all day.

8. I am gonna have a mental breakdown when I turn 28 in two months. Just a warning if I make no sense in the next month or so.

9. I don’t understand why everyone loves Beyonce. I just don’t see it. She isn’t that wonderful. She even dances weird. Please see this video if you don’t know what I am talking about.

10. I am totally a yes lady. I say yes to everything. I am like down for anything. For instance, when I was 16 I was at drivers ed class. Nearby was a huge hill of concrete. I was dared to get in a shopping cart and go down the hill. I did it…and I totally did not die!

11. I have no shame and I don’t embarrass easy. I totally don’t mind me being the but of a joke.

Now to the questions that Irene so thoughtfully prepared.

  • What’s your favorite meal? Anything that involves crab legs. I got a thirst for buckets of crab!
  • What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Throw in a Snickers bar and it will be like what will it take Marina to stop!!!
  • What’s in YOUR wallet? receipts that are not important, my ID for buying fictional alcohol, and my debit card. Pretty lame…
  • Who’s your secret crush (be careful, it won’t be a secret if you answer)? My secret crush Kim Kardashian. In my next life I am coming back as Kanye West!
  • What car do you drive (do you really think I was going to do something like this without mentioning or making a reference to an automobile?)? I drive a Chevy Tahoe. What I really wanna drive is a 2012 Camaro or 1984 Chevy lifted truck with a short bed. Oh god, I may have just orgasm-ed envisioning this.
  • What is your favorite vacation destination? Anywhere at this point… even my bed is sounding fucking nice right now!
  • Who’s yo daddy? Well, I am not sure what you mean. My biological daddy? My sugar daddy? My pimp daddy?  My biological daddy is a guy named Eduardo Rodriguez. My sugar daddy & pimp daddy is Gus Sanchez.
  • Do you believe this planet will implode on December 22 of this year? I fucking hope so. I need some chaos in my life. Plus I want to put my survival skills that I learned from Bear into use.
  • What’s your zodiac sign? Virgo… I am a virgin.
  • Will Justin Bieber ever go away? I hope not. Big Fan!! Baby baby baby ….
  • Will Michele Duggar have more babies? Yes then they should do a documentary on what she looks like down there so everyone can know. Lets wear out that dirty laundry.

My turn!!!

  • Do any of you people know where I can find a distant relative that is dying and looking to give his money to someone?
  • What do I do if I got an itch down there and I am in the middle of a public area with no place to hide?
  • How bad will a Brazilian wax be?
  • I feel like making another crazy video. What should I do? My version of dubbsteping? Any suggestions?
  • Is Nancy Kerrigan still pist about the whole breaking her leg? She should let that go.
  • How can I get my husband to massage my back more? Is there a way I can train him to do every time I ring a bell?
  • Is there a way to get people to like you? I open to beating people down.
  • Does anyone else think Tom Cruise’s daughter look kinda alien-ish? Whoa maybe I should not ask that and maybe you shouldn’t answer. You know, for safety reasons.
  • Do you believe in Aliens? I totally want to believe in them. I believe in zombies. So why not?
  • Do you have a zombie apocalypse plan? I do… its become redneck. They survive everything.

  • Which celeb do you hate??

There ya go.

God damn… I wrote a book.

You’re welcome!

Dear Word Press

Dear WordPress,

Who do my friends gotta nail in order to get me Freshly Pressed, man?

I followed all your rules about Tags, Categories. I am putting myself out there. Twitter is pimping me. I can’t be any more pimped!! The STD’s need to pus up and heal!!!

I say, Word Press, start in alphabetical order of all blogs by their blog title. That way everyone gets a turn.  Obviously, you will have to read each of the blogs to determine whether they are Word Press material but too bad.

I didn’t sign up for the job. YOU DID!

I also suggest you also give preference to people who have been here a while. I have been blogging close to 3 years. Where is my 3 year anniversary blogging certificate? Maybe you could send me a jacket or a watch.

Something to know you value my words and thoughts and the fact that I assist in helping bringing people to this site!!!

How you pick me dumbfounds me?

What exactly are your qualifications for being Freshly Pressed?

Republican? Recently off of Oxycontin?

Do you allow cussing?

If not, say something!

I mean it’s not going to stop me from fucking cussing but then I can start Occupy Word Press and get you to change your liberal minds.

One step at a time, Word Press. One step at a time.

So please, Word Press lower your standards!! That way you can Freshly Press someone and make their day… like me!

Think of the lowly housewife who needs to vent. If not, she has enough chemicals under her kitchen sink to blow us all sky-high!

Think of the regular ole redneck who just wants to blog about catching gators and restoring his pappy’s pappy’s pappy’s pappy’s pappy’s house.

Think of the little Mexican girl who never had the balls to actually write anything so she gets writing outta her system by blogging about how hot Bo Derek is and we all should have plans prepared for the nearing Zombie Apocalypse.

Think.

Wanna do me a favor?

Freshly Press this!

Sincerely,

Marina Sleeps

Thursday Show Review- I Finally Jumped on the Zombie Bandwagon

Wait wait, I know how this might seem. Zombie bandwagon?? You mean to tell us Marina, you don’t like zombies??

On the contrary my dear Watsons, I love zombies. Zombies are sooooo bad ass. Slow but super bad ass. And I have seen every movie about zombies.

28 Days Later,Zombieland, Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, All Resident Evils, the Crazies, etc etc etc.  Zombies in movies are awesome! So when a show came out that would feature zombies weekly, I flaked. Actually I missed the damn boat.

I DIDN’T KNOW!! I TELL YOU!!

Before I realized this show existed, I had already missed the entire season. I of course am talking about one of the greatest show on earth…. The Walking Dead.

So I welcome myself to the bandwagon. Where are the party favors yo???

Anyways so I sat down and watched the first two episodes of Walking Dead  last night via Netflix. Instantly, after the first five minutes I was hooked!!! Where have you been all my life?!!??!!

People seriously…. this is the greatest show ever and you need to head over to AMC and watch it!!

Of course, it begins with a sheriff and his deputy talking and then rushing to high-speed chase. Once there, the sheriff gets badly wounded and taken to a hospital.  Obviously, he has been unconscious for some time because while he sleeps an epidemic occurs. When he wakes up, he is grossly thin and dehydrated and realizes that he is the only one in the hospital. It has been abandoned.

So he starts exploring and finds blood, bullet holes in the walls, and finally hundreds of dead bodies. And it is just eerily quiet and deserted. He walks all the way into town in his hospital nightgown. He has his first encounter with a …… half eaten zombie.

If you are anything like me, you would have yelled What the Fuuuuuuhhhhhhh?

Yea…

So anyways the Sheriff makes it to his home to find neither his wife or child there. He also runs into a father and son who take him into their “home” and educate him in the new ways of the city. Zombies and such…. stay with people. Its much more exciting if you just watch it!!

He hears of a refuge from the father and believes that is where his wife and son are. So he goes to the police station and loads up ammo and heads off to find that refuge area.

He tries to radio out and see if anyone can hear him. Some where there is a small group of people who hear him over the CB radio. In the group resides his  deputy and you find out later his wife and son.

OMG!!

So the sheriff  finds a home where  the people have shot themselves … the scene is gripping.

So he takes the horse and makes it into the city. He seriously looks all cool wearing his sheriff get up and riding a horse.  Pretty hot if you ask me.

Back to the little group of survivors that tried to contact the sheriff over the CB.

His deputy is doing his wife!

Whoa!!!

Or as Al Pacino would say it in the Scent of a Woman, ” Whoooaaaaaaa!”

Hopefully that is right. I wasn’t paying too much attention to Al if you know what I mean!! Hee hee hee.

Once the deputy gets into the city, it’s very quiet. Completely deserted until he runs into thousands of zombies!!!

He falls off his horse and the zombies begin eating his horse. Poor horse. I almost cried.

Seriously… I had already named it. I called it Poky…

What?!? I would not have named it if I knew it was gonna die in the next scene!!!!

So there are hoards and hoards of zombies and he has to escape into a tank.

That was episode one. It was so intense!! I loved it.

I am gonna watch episode three tonight.

I am a little torn on who is hotter.

You have the sheriff who is all good guy and hero hot.

Then there is the deputy who is rough and strong…. and its obvious he has a good body.

 

This show also made me realize that I am not prepared.

Sure we have guns… but we need to stash shit loads of ammo in the house. And maybe just “in case” I should make a trip to Home Depot and by some wood to board up the windows and sliding doors.  Seriously! Having wood around can never be a bad thing!!!

It’s just a reminder to prepare for the day…. the day where we get really sick and start becoming zombies.

I plan to survive. There needs to be at least one hot girl in Earth’s next scene!! I am going to start lifting weights!!

Things I Hate….

I didn’t have time to watch a movie because I

  • ate a big dinner
  • twittered
  • played words with friends
  • took Roly Furie Poly outside to shit
  • cleaned up (not really)
  • watched the new Jenny Marbles video
  • took a nap
  • cleaned again (kinda)
  • did homework with Savannah
  • took Roly Furie Poly outside to shit
  • saw American Horror Story episode 3
  • freak out for the rest of the night (the whole night!!)
  • sleep with a machete

So alas because I was so busy I didn’t have time to watch a movie… fuck!!

So today I will bless you with

Things I Hate

  • big fucking spiders
  • Dr Pepper
  • lesbians that don’t hit on me. What the hell is wrong with me?
  • losing in Words for Friends 50 million times
  • sneezing so hard it hurts
  • stapling my fingers for the 11th time
  • my mother. Ok I don’t hate her but she annoys me.
  • When I ask something and my dumbass co-workers asks, “Well what would Jesus do?”
  • when something plastic is left on my hot flat iron and burn the shit out of it and not notice and then it gets  all over my hair
  • K-Ci & Jo Jo
  • Beyonce except when she was in Destiny’s child
  • Grenade and Lazy Day song… are you serious people?!?!?
  • When people burn popcorn
  • Detroit. What the fuck is wrong with the people in that city?
  • Nebraska. Stupid corn!
  • that work has a no dancing policy
  • that all the Repo shows are reenactments. BS I tell you!!
  • when you’re taking a shit in a public bathroom, and there are six empty stalls, and someone comes in and takes the stall right next to you. Whichever presidential candidate makes that illegal, gets my vote.
  • when you can’t tell if someone if a man or a female. Stop confusing the fucking world
  • when you can’t tell is pregnant or not. Please wear a sign!
  • People at Walmart who exit through the enter and vice versa
  • Will Smith’s music career
  • that people don’t love the Spice Girls like I do
  • the fact that there are no more Spice Girls
  • that I always stuck with J and L as my last letters on Words with Friends.
  • that Words with Friends is racist!!!
  • the stuff that bicyclists wear… you nut huggers
  • when people don’t laugh at my jokes

 

Now laugh!!!

Behind the Behind: Interview With “The Pkitass”

Most of all know each other or are familiar with each other through our blogs and on Twitter.

However, I wanted to go deeper and find some true, hard-hitting facts with many of my cherished blogger/Twitter friends.  I wanted you to all to meet and understand these complex but wonderful people of the social media world.

I introduce to you today… The Pkitass!

(Ominous music)

Pkitass took time out of her busy schedule of dog kissing and coffee stealing to meet with me today.

As she enters the room, I notice she is wearing a scarf around her face only showing those beautiful brown eyes, and a bath towel.

Me: Good Morning! I love what you are wearing. So up close and personal!!

Pkitass: Morning. I prefer Rise and Grind.

Me: Really? What are you grinding?

Pkitass (shrugs): How should I know? Hopefully someone is grinding me some coffee. It’s just what they say.

Me: Who is they?

Pkitass (looks around the empty room): You don’t see them??

Me (laughs uncomfortably): Well, let’s get started shall we? Tell all the readers out there what your full name is.

Pkitass: Pequitas G. Torrasian

Me: What does the G stand for?

Pkitass: It stands for giggly, google it and gigantic.

Me: Did you giggle a lot as kid?

Pkitass: I giggle a lot now as an adult.

Me: Interesting. Torrasian. Is that African?

Pkitass: Would that make you happy?

Me: Uhhhhhh, my African audience might like it.

Pkitass: No, my last name comes from a long line of Aztec warriors.

Me: Whoa, whoa. Aztecs were known to eat their captives’ hearts. Do you practice that as well?

Pkitass: I like to keep some ancestral traditions so every other full moon I’ll sacrifice a virgin guy or if I can’t find one, I’ll substitute it with a World of Warcraft Geek.

Me: And there is always plenty of those to spare!

Pkitass: I’ve heard eating hearts keeps you looking young. But I really wouldn’t know. I’m only 175 years old.

Me: Wow revealing your age?!? How very brave of you! You are an example to all! So tell our readers what  a day is like in the life of Pkitass?

Pkitass: Some days are just normal like your or any others’ day. Other days it’s so hectic that even going to the bathroom has to be planned. Those days I tend to get very sweaty.

Me: Now when you say your day is like mine and others, do you mean like beating cars with umbrellas or the paparazzi catching you not wearing underwear?

Pkitass: Of course. I thought beating cars with umbrellas was a normal everyday thing. But I guess that’s a California thing.

Me (laughs) Of course! What is a perfect day for you?

Pkitass: A perfect day for me would be filled with Starbucks salted caramel mocha drinks, a wide variety of cupcakes while sitting somewhere where its overcast and  everyone is my bitch.

Me: You just summed up the American dream. Perfect. Truly perfect. Now Pkitass, how do you want to be remembered once you are long gone? What legacy do you want to leave behind?

Pkitass: Whoa! Why are you talking about death? I still have at least another 200 years or so before I start thinking about death. Well, as long as I cut back on fatty geeks. Those are bad for your cholesterol, you know?  It’s just healthy trim virgins and geeks are hard to come by.

Me (nodding) I totally understand. It’s the complaint of every woman.  Before we conclude this interview, is there anything you want to tell the readers?

Pkitass: Yes. When you are out driving, remember to always use your turn signals or I will remember your license plate number and make a special sacrifice exception for you. Also, cupcakes should be its own food group, when in doubt, dance it, out, oh and I accept gifts!


Well there you have it folks. When in doubt, dance it out and cover your license plate for the love of God!!!

For more info on Pkitass look her up at All I Know is This

Now Hiring- Will You Be My Hero

I got here today at work in such a good mood it’s actually making me sick. I am disgusted with myself.  I didn’t get much sleep last night. I woke up at about 2am with the sound of something crashing in the kitchen. Not even a second before that crash Ryan laid up in bed and said something about his sisters. I don’t know if he was talking in is sleep or what but his voice woke me up and then that crash happened.

For some reason at 2 am I was able to reason what it was but I was too scared to calm myself down. I go into the closet and unlock the shot-gun and slowly make my way through the hall to the kitchen.

As I expected, a box full of plastic silver ware fell from on top of the kitchen. I was weirded out because  could have sworn … in fact I am sure I put it on the frig in the center …. but the way it fell it fell to the side. Strange.

So after that I looked in the front yard, rechecked all the doors, checked out all the rooms and the garage. However, I was scared out of my mind. Not only that I was so hot last night that I had the window wide open. Now I was afraid that someone one was gonna try to get in through the window.  So needless to say I kept waking up and looking at the window.

It just reminded me this morning that I am sick of having so much responsibility. I am tired of being the protector at my home. I mean, I am doing it, but god I might have a nervous breakdown soon enough.

Being responsible sucks. I am tired of making decisions. So I have decided to demote myself down to being a sidekick. And I am now hiring for someone to be my Batman so I can be their Robin.

I won't have much of a package as the real Robin.

For the most part…. I am super easy-going. Nothing bothers me. I am chill! I am also super optimistic.  So I will make a great partner. I will be the opinion-less partner.

For now on, you decide what we are eating or where. You can pick what I wear. You can tell me when to do the dishes or when to do the laundry.  Hell you can do it! Especially if I don’t do it to your expectations.

You talk and I will just listen.

I am just tired of making all the decisions.

However with any clause, there are some guidelines that need to be addressed before someone takes the job. You may be my Batman but even Batman doesn’t wear Robin’s spandex.

I hope that makes sense. It made sense it my head.

Guidelines:

1. Do not talk bad about Kim Kardashian. I love her.

Nope! Don't say it!

2. If you choose to eat Pizza a lot, we will get along just fine.

3. When you make me sandwiches, can you cut the edges off? And if you can make fancy designs with the sandwiches, that’ll be great.

Exactly!!!

4. Please listen to me. When I see a movie or read a book, I will believe it changed me for the better. But don’t worry, it will go away within a day or so.

5. You gotta agree my kids are the cutest kids in Texas. In Texas!

6. Yes you can send those ugly brats to the corner.

7. I am totally ok with microwavable food. Food is food.

8. I will panic if there is no tea or coke in the house.

9. I am a movie freak.  You don’t have to watch all the movies but for sure the scary ones.

10. Don’t touch my hair. I am not one those girls that likes their hair played with but if you wanna massage my feet, go right ahead!

So if you feel I ain’t that much of worry, feel free to send me to an application indicating why you make a good hero for me. Note: Superhero uniforms are totally up to you just don’t put me in anything lime green or boots that have a super high heel. Because then  I won’t run or even walk for shit. Remember I will be your Ugly Betty.

I will let you know if you posse the qualities to ward off all the “evils” that bother me. I will let you know as soon as I find someone to do all this reading that this interviewing process will entail.

Now if you excuse me,  I must send this secretary back to her desk so she doesn’t get in trouble for typing this post.

 

{Insert title here}

Monday: There is nothing to report. I am at work. I am annoyed because I rather be sleeping. This is the first weekend ever that I did not sleep in. Not even once! I am dying here people. And I could really use some burritos! Any one? Any one?

Today is my daughter’s , Savannah, birthday. She turned 6 today. Yesterday we had a small little party for her. She scored majorly the little brat.

  She got three games for her DSi, a stuffed animal puppy, a Ken Barbie, Tinkerbelle walkie talkies, a ballerina Barbie, a veterinarian  Barbie, a boom box, the Selena Gomez cd, a Tinkerbelle puzzle, a Pucci Purse with pony, and chalk.

 She majorly scored. Majorly! 

 Happy Birthday Savannah!! I love you very much!!

 We are planning to go to Dallas for four days in the beginning of September. We plan to go to Six Flags and see what else Dallas has going on. This is so exciting. First this will be our second real vacation.

 The first we made a trip to Houston. This was in 2008.  We went to an awesome aquarium and took a ride downtown on a horse carriage. Coming home we stopped in San Antonio and conceived Ryan!

 I might be totally weird but I know when and where each of my kids were conceived. Do any of you?

God I would give my left foot for a taquito or something!!

It’s cold in this damn office! 

Gus isn’t a movie buff like I am so when he said lets watch something on Netflix, even though it was already late, I jumped on board. He said he was in mood for a documentary. Not my cup of tea really and I even vetoed a few of choices. We finally settled on this documentary on a hardcore Redneck family that lives in West Virginia.

    Shoot-outs, robberies, gas-huffing , drug dealing, pill popping, murders, and tap dancing are all what is common in the White family. The legendary family is as known for their wild, excessive criminal ways as they are for their famous mountain dancing members, including Jesco White, the star of the cult classic documentary, Dancing Outlaw. It’s funny because these people are crazy!

 But as you see more of the story, it makes you sad and angry. Their lives are one big party. They haven’t been controlled since their father died. Once he died, all hell broke loose. These kids who are now older with full-grown kids of their own party, sell drugs, are in and out of prison.

 And that is their life in a nutshell.

  It’s crazy that this type of people still exist. With no education, they have worked the system in order to always have money.  I feel sorry for the kids. The kids as young as 5 years old are cussing and saying they want to kill people.

 After we finished seeing the movie I told Gus that this movie and Deliverance have sealed the deal. I am terrified of hillbillies. Seriously, hillbillies are not like the Beverly Hillbillies. Hilbillies are crazy! Each of the members of the White family, man or woman, would slit your throat in a second! One young man almost blew off his uncle’s face! One of the main character’s, Jesco, even admitted that he could be like Charles Manson if you angered him. He had no problem killing someone.

Ok?!?!?!

Last night I dreamt I was a hillbilly. Yeah! Worst dream ever!  I had nappy hair and missing teeth. And my voice was so deep and scratchy because of all the cigarrettes!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Yeah, so I don’t think I will ever go to West Virginia. Nope, never!

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