In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Posts tagged ‘Parenting At It’s Best’

Liar Liar Pants on Fire!! Wait no don’t cry…your pants really aren’t on fire!

So I have this kid …

named Sienna. She is our baby girl.

She just started school this year three weeks ago and she is still not used to it.

She didn’t cry her first day until the afternoon. Then she cried every day after that until Friday when she had a good day.

Last week Monday, she cried a little going into the building. Then for the most part, she was fine.

Yesterday she cried in the morning and also this morning.

Last night, she told me there was a boy bothering her. A little boy in her class was being very mean to her calling her “a poopy head and a liar” but she doesn’t lie in school.

Her words.

Well we thought … this must be the reason she is not wanting to go to school.

The thing is Sienna loves school. She loves having work. She loves her teachers and her little friends so we couldn’t understand if it was so great, why was she resistant?

We talked and talked with her last night and a part of this morning about telling the teacher and what she could tell this boy.

And the more I thought of it the more I got upset. Truthfully, I didn’t believe her. Or I was more skeptic. However I was giving her the benefit of the doubt.

So this morning as we got ready, I told her how mad I was that a boy was being so mean to her. In fact, I was so mad I was going to talk to her teacher when I got there.

When I told her this, she responded that she could take “handle it” on her own.

You’re five! You are crying cause someone call your a poopy head and you wanna handle it?

I asked her the boy’s name. She didn’t know. Hmmmm… well maybe she hadn’t learned everyone’s name yet. Then she remarked that he wasn’t going to be in class today because he had a party to go too.

How suspicious!

Finally after a bit probing, she revealed there was no boy who was teasing her.

She lied.

I think she figured that was a good excuse to keep her at home.

As I write this I realize that I need to tell her the story of the little girl who cried wolf.

I felt bad telling her this but I knelt down beside her and told her this in the most loving yet firm way I could,

“You are going to school no matter what.”

I’m at a loss with this child. I can’t figure out why she is crying still. Especially after she says she loves school.
I guess the best thing is just to give her some time.

I did tell her that she should never lie.

You know …”Liar Liar pants on fire, hanging by the telephone wire.”

Then she started crying….

Her pants were not on fire I swear Child Protective Services.

It was a metaphor!!!

Happy Mother’s Day

Even though Mother’s Day isn’t until Sunday, I figure I give the word out today.

Happy Mother’s Day.

To every mother out there… I hope you have a joyous, relaxing day. I hope you are spoiled.

Truth is our children make us special just as we make our mothers special. A mother isn’t born until a child is.  A mother is something new each and every time.

Then again…. shit doesn’t get done until a mother does it.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!

I Hang My Head In Shame

So yesterday I took a vacation day from work.

My husband and I went to my daughters’ award  assembly. She got the terrific kid award which I think is the equivalent to an employee of the month.

I asked her if she got any bonuses, extra benefits, a raise and she told me she received two pencils, a sticker, and a hug.  Wow, she is going to make a perfect candidate working for Wal-Mart!!!

I kid!! Hopefully its Target she works for. Who doesn’t like Target?!?!

After that, it was breakfast, running errands, taking all my kids to the dentist which is very exhausting.

I hate going to the dentist probably more than my kids do.

If you ever wanna feel like a shitty parent, feel like you couldn’t possibly hit bottom, by all means go the dentist.

Two of my kids had cavities so they got fillings.  Man the entire time, this one guy was talking shit to me. THE ENTIRE TIME!!

They brush every day people!! I swear it!! They don’t even eat candy. Ask them!! They always ask if they can have some, and I always say no.

I don’t have a sweet tooth so whether or not they do, they don’t get shit!

My kids are guilty of drinking a lot of juices. That’s my fault. I honestly didn’t realize that it was so bad.

Yes! Slap me!

But god damn, this one dentist was giving it to me hard! Hard!

I told him I understand. I will limit the juices, they won’t have any sweets til October.

I could not get out there quicker.

The next time I go there, if someone makes a comment again, I think I am gonna pick my kid and walk out and take my business somewhere else.

Dude what is up with that?!?!

I remember going to the ER and the nurse drilling me how my daughter got hurt.  Simple. She was climbing a tree and fell. A tree that she has climbed over a hundred times.

Am I not suppose to let them play or be kids?

She was probing my daughter because she couldn’t exactly ask if mommy hurts her. She did let her know that this is a safe place and she could say anything here and nothing bad was going to happen to her.

What!??!

Nothing was even broken. I took her to make sure she was fine  and didn’t have a concussion. I remember my daughter even getting annoyed, stopping with the nurse in the room asking me why she keeps asking her over and over. She fell off a tree enough said.

I understand that there are certain things they have to ask but do they have probe and basically make you feel like you scum of the earth because your kid had stains on a back tooth or because she was playing in a tree.

Ughhhhhhhhh, I am frustrated now because I am sure 75% of the time, a parent is a good parent. Nurturing, loving, careful. However, don’t you have to let your kids be kids?

And because I am sensitive as fuck, this shit is going to be bothering me for a least a week.

After that, we took the kids to a nice dinner of their choice for Savannah’s award.

All in all, it was a great day.

And that is why there is no Thursday movie review today.

I also got two pair of shoes.

Score!!!

Wwwwellllccccommmeeee to the GREATEST Show in the Southern California Area!!!!

Goooooooooood Morning!!!!

Are you ready?????

What were you and your children doing Saturday morning? Probably you all were hung over from Friday night!

Huh? Huh?

While you were being lazy, somewhere sometime (technically the greater Southern California area at about 11:45am) this marching band was kicking ass and taking names.

Feast your eyes on this band!!!

If more half time shows provided entertainment such as this, I might not in be the bathroom trying to get rid of the gallon of soda I just drank!!

Today I like to feature a marching band who deserves no introduction but I am still going to give them one because you probably have no idea who they are but should!

Panorama High School won 1st place for Marching Band in their division, 1st place in drum line, and 3rd place for drill team!!

Hey Detroit, this band is waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better than Nickleback!! Way better!!

Come to think of it, I know I will be in the bathroom during Nickleback’s show!!

Presenting the PHS Marching Band and some girls that cheer but really aren’t cheerleaders!!!

Pretty damn awesome am I right???

Why am I writing about this??

Well because our very own Pkitass’s  offspring is the band!! She is  the one in black and gold. You see her? You see her???

Not only did they rock it (winning!!) but they also know how to make a circle in formation!! I know I can’t do that!

(Anyone looking for someone to sabotage a marching band formation, I am your woman!!)

And Pkitass’s  daughter, CeCe is one hell of a saxophone player!! Props to you CeCe! You ain’t sitting on some grass in front of your city hall “occupying it”.

NO! You are occupying a  football field, carrying a sax, marching in abstract shapes, and still rocking it!!

Occupy that 1 percenters!!!

I salute you Panorama High School and I salute you CeCe … daughter of Pkitass of where the Chihuahuas Rule.

A Pet That Can Kill, Crazy People, & A Total Fake Out

My youngest daughter Sienna recently adopted a new pet. Normally, I am all for pets especially if they are cute and cuddly. However this pet is neither cute nor cuddly. In fact, if precaution is not taken, her new pet (Princess is what she calls it) can very well send us off to the ER!

No it’s not a python. No it’s not fire ants or bees.

Its….

Say hello to Princess.

Yes, it is a rock or a mini boulder if you will. For a rock, its pretty heavy. It’s heavy for me its a whole lot of heavy for her. That doesn’t seem to bother her. Or the fact that its missing a part of its side. That doesn’t seem to bother her either. No she is loving that damn rock to her little heart’s content.

I am not weirded out or anything. Hell if she wants a rock I am all for that!! It doesn’t poop which lets face it folks I would be cleaning it up if it did. It also doesn’t eat. But if she were to drop it on her toe… god that is an ER visit just waiting to happen!

So I have banned her from carrying it. It stays in its bed. She made a nice little bed for it. And when I checked on her during the night, I found she brought into the bed to sleep with her.

She has tons of dolls, and babies. I don’t know how she stumbled on that a rock would make an excellent baby but yes… I will “check her in”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday I talked to a friend I went to middle school with. She actually lived in El Paso for one year and I went to school with her. After that, she moved back to Denver. For only being here one year she sure knew a lot about what happened to the kids we went to school with.

One story was particular interesting. There was this girl named Jenny that I knew ever since elementary. Everyone loved her.  She wasn’t extremely beautiful but she was cute, funny, had long hair and was a cheerleader. Yes…. she was cool and so not awkward (me).

She stayed Miss Loved and Most Expected to Succeed. She went onto the local college here and was a college cheerleader.

Apparently she now suffers from schizophrenia people. What the hell? She was completely normal when I knew her!! I knew her mother as well and her family. All freaking normal.

That totally sucks… but I pat my back because I have yet to collapse of the pressure of life. There is always next year. And till then, I will always duck and cover when I see someone I went to school with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My oldest daughter, Savannah, hates waking up in the morning. It is a battle every morning. Yet, after being awake after a while she wakes up and is fine. Today, she was moving slow still. She was also very quiet.

Once we got in the car and drove off she wasn’t even responding to her favorite music. At a red light, I stroked her chick and said, “You ok?”

She sighed and looked at me with a sad look, “Its time to start over.”

Her words overwhelmed me. Six years old! Time to start over? Did she mean in school? Did she finally realize that its important to complete her work assignments and get good grades? Did she realize that she needed to make any changes in her life?

“What do mean?” I ask.

She points to the radio.

I look back at her.

“What?”

She says, “Its time to start over the song.” And she smiles and looks out the window.

She totally faked me out. Totally!!!!

I take it back… I am obviously going crazy.

I might be ok with it. Spread the word… Marina is coming out and into the strait jacket!!!

Musical Revolution- A Musical Journey

As many of you know, it was oldest daughter’s birthday this past Monday. She reached the big 6-year-old!! And she is already asking for a pink car!!! Can you believe it?!  Well she better start picking weeds and picking dog poo up cause at the rate she is going…. a car may never be in her future.

Regardless, I am so proud of my beautiful baby girl! She is her mother’s daughter, which may be or may not be a bad thing.

She did get one thing from me. She has started a love for music very early. Most kids don’t show an interest in music until they are teens. But not my Savannah.

So Happy Birthday baby girl… this musical revolution is for you.

When Savannah was 6 months, her first favorite song was by Josh Turner- Your Man.

She would in another room and that song would come on and she would come crawling into the room and just sit and listen or watch the music video. I think she was intrigued by his deep voice. She would do this every time.

Her next favorite song was Carrie Underwood’s-Before He Cheats. She didn’t understand the song of course but she understood the sassiness of the song and she liked the girl beating the truck up with a bat.

Awesome.

She also liked this song… I think even at a year old … she had good taste.

Steve Holy- Brand New Girlfriend

My girl is a trendsetter. I can say honestly that she liked this before she even saw this movie. After this song, it gave her one more reason to like the movie CARS.

Life is a Highway-Rascal Flatts

She can sing this next song verbatim. I love this song. We put this song and bust one out in the radio.

Wasted-Carrie Underwood

She changed her interest a bit and went for something more modern and something she can dance too. And yes something with more sass

Katy Perry- Hot n Cold

Her music tastes have somewhat changed. She still loves country music; her faves being Taylor Swift, Lady Antebellum, Carrie Underwood. She loves Katy Perry, Gwen Stefani, Kesha, Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, Justin Beiber, and now…

Last night we jammed out to her birthday CD by Selena Gomez and it made me sad. Her music tastes show she is getting bigger.

After one song in particular I explained what it meant. She responded back to me that she likes music with a good message.

That made me smile.

Selena Gomez-Who says

This Is Why I’m Hot

This Is Why I’m Hot

 

An Ode to Being a Mother that only Mothers can understand.

Damn Men…

Ahem.

This is why I’m hot

This is why I’m hot
 This is why, This is why

This is why I’m hot (Uh)
This is why I’m hot  Whoo
This is why
This is why I’m hot

I’m hot cause I’m busy

You ain’t cause you’re not
This is why
This is why I’m hot

[Verse 1:]
This is why I’m hot
I don’t get to nap
Bright in the mornin’ I land on the track
Hurry through the shower
Don’t have time to trim and I don’t give a frack
Time I have lost it
Kids up any sec and that is a fact
I hate the dirty, dirty
but breakfast comes first
These kids start to bounce
“Stop Jumpin on the damn couch” is the first curse
Pancakes, eggs is whats requested
but then its rejected
So when I hit the roof, pour cereal
I watch them get it on the floor
The kitchen is a mess
Grab a broom and mop and get on my way
Crying and screaming nothing less
They do it everyday
I hustle back and forth
and I don’t get paid
I clean one room
come back and its a mess
This is just alot I must confess.
People say that I’m hot
They see me sweating it
They ask why are you so skinny
They ask me how I do it and simply I reply…

This is why I’m hot
 This is why, This is why

This is why I’m hot (Uh)
This is why I’m hot  Whoo
This is why
This is why I’m hot

I’m hot cause I’m busy

You ain’t cause you’re not
This is why
This is why I’m hot

[Verse 2:]
This is why I’m hot
Catch me on the block
Every other day
Cramming three kids in my escalade (just kidding)
Wal-mart is a joke
but this is where I go
I’m in there driving carts
Whinning and fighting
I’m into shutting stores down so I can shop

Kids testing me, gonna get  chopped
“Stop Running & Just Walk!”
I am out and about
I hit the bank with  money in the bag
We’re into savvy thrifters
Hungry kids want lunch in a bag
Find me with different tasks that you never had
For those who say they know me know I tune out the screams
Some one hit someone
God I can’t wait til their teens
And when say I’m hot people this is what I mean

This is why I’m hot
 This is why, This is why

This is why I’m hot (Uh)
This is why I’m hot  Whoo
This is why
This is why I’m hot

I’m hot cause I’m busy

You ain’t cause you’re not
This is why
This is why I’m hot

[Verse 3:]
This is why I’m hot
I see the kids drop
Kids are asleep so I take them all in
Bring the groceries in and trip on the mop
salsa jar breaks, this is the  cream of the crop
I am tired but the laundry needs to be done
I stuff load in that weighs a ton
I walk in a see Son with crayons in his hand
He colored the walls, ain’t that grand?
So added cleaning  walls to my list
Put a movie on for the kids
I hope they let me get stuff done is my only wish
I don’t catch a break with these hyped up kids

And this is my day
I work full time
Hubby asks why you so cranky
How can’t he not see why
So I hit him with he broom and tell him I feel headachy.

This is why I’m hot
 This is why, This is why

This is why I’m hot (Uh)
This is why I’m hot  Whoo
This is why
This is why I’m hot

I’m hot cause I’m busy

You ain’t cause you’re not
This is why
This is why I’m hot

 

Japanese Poo Poo Have All the Fun

Happy Memorial Day! Wait, that was yesterday!

But still, the thought is still there.

I am happy to be an American citizen. I can cuss, pray to a jelly donut if I want too, and I can even make fun of videos of other cultures.

But seriously folks, they are some whacked things people do, say and even watch.

Check out this little gem.

It made me feel so dirty!

I am glad singing a song about pissing is acceptable! I’ll add that to my Things to Do Because I am Free List!

Didn’t that toilet seem kind of pedophile-y? “Sit on me”?

Really? Is that an invitation?

 

The question of the day is now, “What time is it when your bottom feels strange?”

Uh, beer thirty? Or that prison sex is happening way to often than normal? It used to be only in the showers!!

Those grunting sounds sound a lot like American Me.

And oh my lord, don’t those tigers have any discretion?!?! They are wiping their sons ass in front of  everyone!

Seriously, I wish my poo was as happy as the little poo in the story.

Japanese poo have all the fun!

 

I showed this to my kids. They seemed now traumatized for life. My daughter asked me to vow on my life that I will never video tape her using the bathroom and pushing like that.

Not even when I am singing a cutesy song about wee weeing, pissing, ugghhhhing??

They gave me a death look.

 Damn it girls! Are you sure?!?!

 

The True Beyonce Experience

Damn you Fnkybee for double dog daring me.

If you knew me already (in person), I would have pulsated and seizured in front of you many times before in effort to understand what exactly Beyoncé is doing.

Seriously, is she calling rain from the heavens? Is there an evil spirit that has possessed her? Did she just see the movie the Craft and invoked spirits from the dead?

I am not sure.

Beyoncé, yes a great singer, is one scary dancer. I bet her dancers next to her are secretly wishing she does not knock them out.

You be the judge. Here is her newest video. I am still waiting for rain.

The truth is she needs to fire her choreographer. No that person needs to be shot! Beyoncé looks like a beast.

Now here is a similar interpretation.

It’s like her twin am I right?!?!

My wig was falling off and everything! How does Beyoncé do it? Super glue?  I had to pretend that an  evil spirit entered my body and was trying to make me vomit last week dinner. I now will be sore in a week.

I assure you I can dance… not much better than this, but no one said Beyoncé or I could dance.

However, let me show you who can dance!! Are you ready for the newest dancing queen??

This post just went from zero to hero. Thanks Si. You are opening for Britney next month.

It’s ok to laugh … I did but I also cried!

And this one just signed with the Miami Heat dancers.

You are welcome.

We Outs!!!!!!!

What I Find Amazing About My Kids

I am tripped out by my kids.

After the 8th try, this is the best one.

They drive me absolutely crazy but in a good way. Well not when they are dumping an entire bag of cereal on the floor or fighting. The fact is these little boogers are smart. Too smart and they awe me in every way. 

Right now the girls are going through a stage that they want to dress however they want. That picture at the top Savannah has her night-time pajama on backwards. However, she said she likes it better that way. Why? Because people “behind her can see that she loves the Little Mermaid”. Screw everyone in front of her.  I don’t agree with anything they pick out BECAUSE IT DOESN’T MATCH!

Yet, since they are fiercely trying to be independent in this fashion, I regrettably let them. I just bought sunglasses so no one will recognize the two trainees for Ringling Circus!

And really as long as these chicks let me cut their corn dogs to pieces and cry for kisses on their boo boos, I can survive this.

Sienna my middle baby girl is feisty. I have no idea where she gets this. Seriously. She must have the last word FOR.EVERYTHING!  And she is soo witty. Sometimes I have to leave the room to laugh when she does something bad cause her reasoning is beyond this world. She tells me everyday that she wants to turn 5yo but doesn’t want to grow up. She recently said boys are for carrying groceries. I have no idea where she gets this from. Seriously because I am not as … smart.

I’ll say something and if I feel its funny I will repeat it and repeat over and over all day … cause its all I got. Don’t worry I am not quitting my day job… which is this.

And my son …. oh dear God! He is like ET. He walks like him ET.  Like he walks with his hips. And he talks like him to. He walks around saying one or two words. It’s so cute.

“Bad Na Na.”  That’s what he calls his oldest sister.

“Tea Mama.” He loves iced tea.

“Spew Spew!” He shoots little guns.

However, we are just in awe  of this little guy cause he is so athletic. Soooo athletic. He is only 2 but he can throw far and he understands about throwing a spiral with the football.  For his most recent birthday, we got him a t-ball set.

Dudes! We didn’t even have to teach him  how to hold the bat and swing. He did it all on his own! So his life has already been outlined for him.  He is going to play football or baseball but preferably football. He is going to play at UT Austin and then get drafted to the NFL. Hopefully stay local and get drafted to the Cowboys! Ok, he can pick which ever team he wants as long as it’s not the Steelers, Patriots, or Saints.

I plan to be the psychotic mother that WILL DO ANYTHING to get her baby whatever he wants.  Whoa can we say I might be channeling Psycho or even the mother from Jason!

Ladies be warned!

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