This past Sunday was my birthday. I turned 29 years old.
Who imagines being alive this long? Surely I would have been killed in a traffic accident or something gang related, but no I am still here … turning 29 years old. I am scared to get older… who isn’t? However I think I am more in shock. Wasn’t I just 16 years old like yesterday? Wasn’t turning 21 while breast-feeding still like an hour ago?
Time has passed before my very eyes… and I now have been alive 29 years. What the….
The shock has not subsided.
So…. I didn’t do anything to celebrate my birthday. I couldn’t.
Friday I went into panic year before 30 years old panic. I went to the store and bought all these facial creme and washes because if I am going to turn 29 years old I am going to damn well look at least 26! I was gone ho to start taking care of my skin, use the appropriate aging products and all that jazz.
I applied it Friday night, Saturday morning, then spent all afternoon in the sun. And my facial wash and creme baked on my face BURNING THE SHIT OUT OF MY FACE especially MY EYE LIDS! My eyelids were dark, wrinkled and puffy.
I aged 70 years over night. Or got in a fight or cried my eyes out.
I was hideous! There was no way in hell I was going anywhere. And the whole situation made me more mopey and depressed. I was so sad.
My hubby promised to make it all up to me next weekend, when I won’t look like a deep-fried chick.
Truth is, I don’t feel any different. In my mind I am still 19. I will probably forever feel 19. The physical part is changing…. and I am trying to will it as much as I can. I honestly want to be fine with getting older but who knows when I will come to terms with it. Once being young is done, its done.
All I ask now is that convenience store clerk card… card the shit outta me please!!