In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Posts tagged ‘Exercise’

Evil is Everywhere…but it lives in the P90x

Oh yea, evil exists people. It has a new spokesman. His name?

Tony Horton.

This guy yells at you the entire you are doing his exercise dvd’s. He says things like, “C’mon! If this cripple guy here with the fake leg can do it so can you.” or “Shut up and  quit whining!” or “I don’t care if you’re hurting, push on!”

Yes, he is mocking your pain. He laughs that you are in agony and that your legs are burning and shaky and refuse to hold your body up.

And I swear to you if you played the DVD backwards, it would be the voice of the Devil cussing like a sailor brain washing you to never ever wanna have a slice of pizza, hamburger, or donut again.

Damn you Satan. Your spawns don’t work on me.

I haven’t worked out in a long time. Yet, I held on. Sure I was dying. I even wanted to saw off my legs like that dude sawed off his arm in the movie 127 Hours. I just wanna say to that guy… I totally understand what you were going through. However, I didn’t actually go through with sawing off my legs.

Cause in that very moment, he allowed for a 30 second break. And let me tell you, that was the quickest nap ever!

However, that’s how it was for an hour. Yes 1 hour!

59 minutes!

3600 seconds! 

 There were curse words, mean glares, finger throwing, and right when I thought I was gonna end it all, he would allow a 30 second break. He was toying with my body and my mind man! I was beginning to think I was going crazy. Never in an hour have I  had so many emotions.

Anger, Denial, Regret, Rage, Lack of Endurance, Suicidal Thoughts, Empiness and finally Massive Hunger.

And when I was done, this was what was left ….

 

I still can’t lift my legs… and yes the urge to crawl into a hole and die is strong.

Yet, I am a living example that you can do it, and that you can persevere.

It’s tough, but do you want the Devil to win?

I don’t. Hell, as long as I got two legs I will keep on hopping,jumping, twisting, and doing the double airborne Heisman.

I am going nowhere Tony!

Nowhere!

I am a warrior!

Yes those are my real boobs... thank you!

And afterwards I will celebrate in victory with a pepperoni pizza.

Hey you celebrate with your protein shakes… I’ll celebrate with my italian dough, cheese and pepperoni slices.

There is no judgement here.

None!

Advertisements

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: