In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Posts tagged ‘Broken Heart’

To Gus … you know who you are

I took yesterday off. I didn’t fake-call-in-sick though I am not above that.

Yessss excellent!

Actually I took it off to spend some time with my family especially my husband. I know none of you know anything about me so I will go ahead and divulge you today.

My husband and I work together. He worked at our current job before me but he got me in when there was an opening cause at the time I was going crazy at home. Boy do I wish I could take that back. Treasure waking up at 7 AM people. Treasure it!

It was a good thing to because my husband has to do a lot of jobs out-of-town. So not only do I get to see him at home. but I get to see him at work. He also has to deal with my directly. And we haven’t killed each other yet.

My hubby will be going out-of-town for a longer period of time than normally. He will come back occasionally but mostly be gone for the rest of the year until August.  Because of the duration of this trip, there are so many things you need to do and many loose ends you gotta tie. That was the intention for this weekend. Well, that and a lot more hugs and kisses than regularly.

I can say it millions of millions of times, but I am going to miss him. Horribly. So if you people don’t mind, I would like to dedicate this post to Gus. He says he reads every now and then. Hopefully he reads this one.

Dear Gus,

You leave Monday, March 14. That totally sucks. I absolutely hate it when you leave. I don’t have to tell you how alone I am already but without you there… well consider me a puppy lost without its owner. Total lost-a-tion. Yes I just made up that word. I can do that I am emotionally distressed.

Things I will miss about you:

1. The warmth of you in the bed. True, you have been working nights recently but I can always tell when you are finally in the bed with me even at 4:30 am in the morning. Once you are in the bed with me, I can actually sleep. Because then I am safe.

2. You make me feel safe. Not only in the way were we can walk into bar and I can point to a guy and say “Kick his ass
 and you could probably do it with no problem but also because you have my back. You protect me. My heart, my mind, my body.


 I finally felt it when you married me.

3. Who will I talk to? True we will talk on the phone but nothing beats your expressions when I am telling you things face to face. I will miss hugging you and looking up , way up, at your nice face and seeing your eyes. Who will agree with me and disagree? No one that’s who.

4. Weekends will be shitty. And you know they will be because our weekends are spent together. Everyone of us will feel the void when you are gone and it will be so apparent on the weekends. I will look outside and not see you drinking your beer and tinkering with something in the garage.  I will miss watching weird television shows like Sons of Guns and How Things are Made. Normally I would never watch that, but it makes it worthwhile sitting with you on the couch.

Who will help me clean? Truth be told, you are a better cleaner than me. I said it. Don’t ever expect me to say it again. Please excuse the condition of the house when you come back. Oh… just kidding. Just come back ok?

5. No more kisses and you know… I love you. I miss you.

Honestly I can’t express how much I will miss you. You and I are a team. You are our rock. Or glue. Together we are an awesome team. Even just knowing you are next to me is the best feeling in the world. And our lives become a standstill when you are gone. 

Plus you are leaving me alone with them! Those crazy three kids we got! That 2 year old is especially crazy.

You know I kid! But you know that they will miss you like crazy.

 You know my heart remains with you. That I only want to be with you.  Remember this where ever you go.

Since the first time I saw you, I knew I wanted to be with you forever. And I am still here. You are the love of my life.  Know that I am always thinking of you. Even as I sit next to you right now, even when we argue, even when we sleep. You don’t understand the hold you have on me. And I don’t take that lightly.

So in conclusion, I love you. I will miss you and my cell will be glued to my hand. I already volunteered to make any necessary trips out there in case shit goes down with not getting you the right equipment or support.

Lots of kisses,

Your woman.



(Don’t forget to check out my column featured Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at Look for Marina’s columns. Its facts that I just bitch about. Whats new?)

Learning to Keep My Big Beeeeeeeep Mouth Shut

And that’s all there is to it …

Today marked the beginning of the end of Valentines Day for me. Fuck Valentines Day.

Fuck it!

I always loved Valentines Day. And not cause I would get presents (even though that is cool!). No, I loved it because my favorite shape in the whole world are hearts. I loved that shape since I was little. I was always drawn to hearts. I love the color red. It’s my favorite color because to me that always reminded me of love.   And these two things that are my favorite in the whole world come together for a holiday. I am pretty sappy and gay. I love love. I love cards about love. I love balloon shaped hearts. I love red everywhere! I love the heart-shaped boxes.

I repeat I am gay and sappy.

However, things you do not do on this damn day is speak your fucking mouth to your significant other. If something is bothering, you  feel you need to address it. DON’T!

Even if you know that your significant other wouldn’t hold back and let it loose on you if something was bothering them. DON’T!


Because it just ruins the fucking day. Then your going to go home and see the stupid gift he gave you even though he was angry at you .. and your angry at him. When picking out someone a gift, you should be in a good mood. Don’t you think? Cause in case you didn’t know, you can PASS negative energy through a gift. And I don’t want that damn gift!

Don’t get me even a damn card!

And I am not one of those women who are saying no don’t get me anything but secretly are thinking that there S O better get them something.

No, I want nothing! Nothing! Don’t even utter the words.

It always happens like this.  And for some reason, this fucking holiday gets ruined.

I know what your thinking : you’re putting too much emphasis on this holiday. I am not seriously. I think that I show love all the time. I love to buy my man gifts. And I do go big with him.

However, I love Valentines Day! It’s all about love despite all that commercialism.

God I love this day! Now I just want to hate it cause something always go wrong around this day.

Now if you excuse me, I am going to kill myself with love songs  and later with romantic movies!

Apparently I Also Suffer From A Broken (heart) Collarbone

Actually. No.

I am just kidding. I suffer from a broken heart. And I must say … I HATE THE NY GIANTS. LOATHE.

I watched the Monday Football game in toll with my Romo jersey.  The kids and I were all camped around the TV in hopes that we will see the Cowboys they way we love them.  We love them to WIN.

In the beginning, it was going great. And then it happened. Romo was down, hurt! He got escorted out! The atmosphere changed. I was in panic mode. WTH!!! Someone explain something! I was like an angry parent yelling at the doctor, “What happened? Is he gonna be ok? Will he finish this game?”

No answers. Kitna came out. I always said before of how I don’t like Kitna. He sucks. How can he be our second string QB?!?!  The momentum was gone. Where was Ware? Where was Ratliff? What the fuck line men? Stand your ground. It was just one thing after another. 

I was angry, let down because it was like I was watching the Lions. The ball did not move. Despite tries (Dez Bryant’s return led to a TOUCHDOWN!!), we weren’t moving.

In the end, we didn’t do terrible. Sure people stopped trying. Maybe they thought it was hopeless. But Kitna still managed to get two touchdowns. He put the team 6 points behind the Giants. And everyone was saying, the Giants are on fire! Really?!!? Then they should have blew us out the water. We should have lost by 20! Yes I know. A win is a win.

Truth is, I can’t blame Kitna. No one can’t. He doesn’t practice with Whitten, Williams, Austin, or any of the offense. Romo is out … so lets concentrate on what we got! Get Kitna comfortable with plays that he can do. He can’t do Romo plays because he is not Romo! Design plays for him! The team has changed so now focus on getting the confortable back.

Someone needs to lead the team. Stand up Bryant! Stand up Ware! Boost the momentum! Someone do something.

I have now crawled in a hole. True, I feel like shit do to sinus and alergies. But my heart is  broken. Football can’t be over already, can’t it?

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