In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Posts tagged ‘Blogging’

The Wind in My Sail

Sometimes there are things in life that make you extremely sad. That devastate you, that take the wind right out of you. It’s like to know the course of the ship and where it’s suppose to go, but all these waves and harsh weather make it feel like it’s impossible to get to the destination. In my case, I know I will get there but I will be badly damaged. There are things that just can’t be helped. The way a person feels, the way things used to be, and maybe the truth that you already know.

The inevitable.

I never been one to beat around the bush or linger in limbo but at this moment, that’s where it feels safer. I already know what’s going to happen. I don’t have to be psychic to see the damage that is lingering on the horizon. I feel it. I sense it. I know it. The way you see the sky darken and the clouds descend from the sky. The way you know that there is a storm coming.

There is a storm coming.

And I have no one to brace myself with. I am envious of  those around me that do. I am sick of seeing it. But like all things, you must swallow it and just move on. Cause that is all I have ever done. Move on.

There is no more time to review on what I could have done, or where I went wrong in the past. It doesn’t matter; and I’ll spend the rest of my life beating myself about it.

For now I will just have to figure a way to sail…

Sail without wind.

The Art of Catching Some Zzzzz’s

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Being a mother is extremely demanding. Somehow you are the first one up and the last one to bed. You are always extremely tired and can be found falling asleep as you practice reading with your daughter. You anxiously await the anticipated bed time where you can snuggle in your sheets, lay your head on your puffed up pillow and fall gracefully to sleep the way princesses do in movies.

However is that really the case?

I can be falling asleep on the way home from work, on the couch, the dinning table, even as you move about assembling the essentials for the next day. However, as soon as I lay in bed, it gets COMPLICATED!!

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Ideally I want to lay on my back. If I position my pillows just right, both my shoulders properly proportioned equally on the pillow will make for a nice restful sleep. See, this is the type of Science they should be teaching in school. The physics of perfectly aligned shoulders.

But still, I can’t fall asleep. This is not the position I am used too! You see, we recently got my baby boy to stop sleeping with us. When he was a baby, we messed up by putting him in the bed with us all because we wanted an extra few hours of sleep during feedings and diaper changings.

SO SUE US!

Then he just grew super fast and pretty soon I was the one hanging off the edge. Everyone morning, my shoulders would ache because I was forced to sleep on my side all night!

So we moved him into his room. Then we felt guilty and I was cold. So there he went back into our bed. T-ball started for him. He then decided that he was a big boy and could not sleep with us. So there he went back to his bed in his room. I was sad. I missed him. But my shoulders didn’t. In one night I was cured and could never go back to the old way again.

But like all great things, the season ended as well as Ryan’s desire to be a big boy. We couldn’t get him to stay the night in his room. Finally, it donned on us to bring his bed into our room. So we did that… and we have our bed back. Hopefully, we will have our room back.

Sigh….

So I lay there fully enjoying the arms space I have. I now have the power to roll up in a little ball, spread out like an X and even sleep side ways. The possibilities are endless! But I just ache for comfort and want to fully enjoy the space laying on my back.

Still, it doesn’t feel comfortable. What do I do with these arms of mine? Do I cross them over my chest like Wednesday from The Adams Family?

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No that’s weird and uncomfortable. Imagine if I died like that… the medics will think I am  some kind of witch or satanic sleeper.

I finally give up and just roll on my right side like always. I curl my legs up practically in my body and relax. Hopefully, I will just know to change it up in the middle of the night.

Then I start to feel something uncomfortable.

My ankles are touching each other and it’s driving me CRAZY!! My knees are boney and rubbing against each other! If I spread my legs that feels foreign… uhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I just wanna sleep!! I finally just roll over on my stomach and hope the smothering of my face in the pillow will be enough to knock me unconscious!

What is that my feet are hitting?!?!

Ryan is now sleeping horizontally on the edge of our bed!!!!

Alas, For I Am Without Pranks Today

I’m sad.

I have nothing to trick you with today! I’m without jokes today on this blessed day! Blast!

And I am terrified to read anything today because I am so guilable!

I ran through a possible list of things I could have pranked with …

I could tell you I am pregnant but that would be really just scaring myself. I thought I could tell you I was dying from a terminal illness but I actually haven’t had a physical since… I don’t think I have had one. So who knows, that may be true!  I also thought of telling you that Lindsey Lohan has turned to Jesus. But I think Jesus would be highly insulted further damning my soul to hell.

I am to lazy to plan anything. I have so many things I wanna do but laziness gets the better of me sometimes. So if it wasn’t for the laziness you would either be mad or laughing so hard right now. I am sure I would have dreamt up something epic. But again, too lazy.

So be weary today.

I am.

I carefully scanned my chair and desk before I sat down. I made others taste my coffee before I did.  You just never know. If someone scares you enough to cause a heart attack, remember they can and will get off because scaring someone to death is strictly only allowed today.

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Venting Out

I was going to post a Thursday movie review but then I never got around to doing it. Then I decided not posting one at all.

But I realize I need to post. I need to post to get something off my chest.

I am bothered… by family.

Hurt actually.

I have three wonderful, beautiful bad ass sweet ass kids.  I love them. I’m their mother so I want everyone to love them. That’s natural. And when you meet someone that sees your kid the same as you do, well that makes you love that person. I also understand that my kids are my kids and no one will see them or feel about them the way I do.

But family should… right?

I am bothered by people who are in my kids’  lives that don’t really want to be. They do it because they have too. They do it because their spouse asks them too. They do it to be a good person but they don’t do it for the kids. There is a thin level that they refer to as love. But it’s not really love.

I feel bad because my kids don’t have a relationship like that. They aren’t loved like that. No one goes out of their way for them. No one has too but no one wants too.

It bothers me. It bothers me that my kids still love them because they don’t know better.  They are not sought out for a better relationship.

I just wanna say that I see right through you. I know why you are here but don’t wanna be. I see right through you. I see the fake actions. And I don’t want anything from you.

Scratch that I do. I don’t want you to hurt my kids.

Happy Birthday My Little Princess

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Today my little baby girl, Sienna O’ren Sanchez is 6.

At 5, you learned to tie your own shoe. You refused for me to make your lunch and just let me suggest and supervise what you put in your lunch box. You became grandpa’s nurse, grandma’s best match, the neutral and judge free person of the chaos of kids in the house.

You stand before bullies unafraid.  You aren’t afraid to state your opinion. You are daddy’s little girl but because you and I are so the same. You are strong physically and mentally. You are the only kid I know that can do 25 push-ups correctly. You are so helpful, so full of common sense that you wow me. You are a hard worker and extremely smart.

You smell like sweet bread all the time. The blankie we call Pillow that you carry around and sucking your thumb remind us that you are still very little, and give us glimpses that you are still out sweet baby girl. I love how you demand your naps, you are my movie buddy and your fierceness is something even I can envy.

I don’t know where you came from… well I know but what I am referring to is your spirit. You are only 6 but you have done, said and become so much. You are a born leader but you are kind sweet and extremely strong.

The truth is there will never be another girl like you. Never! You are so special and so rare. You are the love of my life. You are loved and cherished by your daddy, uncles, aunts, grandma, grandpas, friends, brothers, sister and so much by me. I met you first! Don’t forget!

I love you princess. Don’t change!  Keep marching to the beat of your own drum.

I love always and forever. For as long as I am living my baby you will be!

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My Favorite Movies That YOU NEED To Watch

Now that football is over I bet you freaking out. Yeah, I can just see you now: hyperventilating.  You could watch college basketball but who has time for that?

Right now I am in television limbo. All my shows have just finished and I am currently waiting for shows to start. Walking Dead is set to start in 5 days. So what must I do til then?

Clean? What are you drunk? Start on my Pinterest ideas?? Hahahahaha, you are killing me.

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You need to  join me on my couch. I will share with you the movies that bring great joy. Let me educate you.  Just bring your own popcorn.

Movies You Should See #1

Love Actually

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How have you not seen this movie?? It the greatest movie for love ever!! Normally I am not a sappy chick flick romance movie type of person. I am probably the only woman on earth who refuses to see The Notebook because I am afraid of the disgusting feelings I might feel. However, if you can add some comedy quirkiness, well then I am down! This movie is smart, funny, and leaves you feeling good. Drunk good! Not the running through hills singing The Hills are Alive good. That’s just gross.

Movies You Should See #2

All the Rocky Movies

Every time they are showing on tv I can’t help but watch. It’s just a really really good  college of movies.  I wouldn’t really call inspirational because  I have yet felt the desire to start boxing. Its a great story. The characters in the story are great, the plot is timeless, Sylvester Stallone isn’t bad to look at it either.

Movies You Should See #3

Horrible Bosses

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I love this movie. These guys have to be the dumbest guys on Earth but it works. They are hilarious! I recently discovered there is an art to talking dirty and Jason Sudeikis’s character nailed it!  It has the same off to wall feeling as The Hangover. I can’t say it enough… I love it I love it I love it!

Movies You Should See #4

Face Off

I like the movie a lot. Maybe more then I should. Something about Nicolas Cage being this crazed psychotic bad guy is just so…. hot. I see this movie on the regular. You can’t beat action and suspense.

Movies You Should See #5

The Silence of Lambs

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Of course this movie is great. I am sure most people will agree with me. The thing that strikes me with it is probably at the time it came out, it was the first of it nature. It was dark, gritty, and we were  exposed to things we hadn’t seen before. This was because there were A type actors in this movie. We HAD to see this movie. And even after all these years, it still leaves me with the same creeped out feeling I got when I first saw it. Plus, I feel like I am missing something. That is why I re-watch it so much. I feel like the need to understand something about it. Something that I just don’t get. However, its the grittiness, the dark side that I just don’t understand. And yet, I will still watch it.

Are there any movies that make your list??

While You Were Golden Globing It Up, I Was In Shock Over Jodie Foster’s Coming Out! She Loves the Color Red Everyone!

I admit, I didn’t watch the Golden Globe awards though I wanted too. I never liked award shows but as I am getting older I am now getting interested. It totally sucks. What sucks even more is that I am still trying to catch up with last  years’ movies!

The real story was not anyone in particular winning. An award show that was not actually about who won. Go figure.

Hell no.

It was Jodie Foster’s  way of saying “I like Beaver…. maybe”.

Truth is… I knew already Jodie! I knew!  I was actually hoping for some real news Jodie.  Something like you have a foot fetish, or you like Justin Bieber because he reminds you of a ex-girlfriend. Something!! Something that I could use.

Instead, you kinda just freaked me out.

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First off, she was probably nervous so her speech was kinda everywhere but then she got a little crazy…

Forget the fact that she might retire but the fact that she was this close to giving you the link to her online dating site profile… I was concerned! Someone get this woman a female STAT!

“I am single. Yes I am, I am single. No, I’m kidding — but I mean I’m not really kidding, but I’m kind of kidding. I mean, thank you for the enthusiasm. Can I get a wolf whistle or something?”

Huh? Ladies?? Where was your wolf whistle?

Doesn’t she know the only way she would get a wolf whistle is if she made out with Megan Fox or something!??!?

Then she thanked Mel Gibson and I was like whoa…. profound!!!

All in all…. it was pretty complicated. And it just stressed that actors are crazy. Cause honestly, no one cares who you screw or love, Jodie!

You have proved that as a nation we have evolved!!! Cause we knew the entire time, we just shrugged our shoulders and moved on!

And now its just another group that is too cool to include Marina!

Sigh… I shall never be cool!

Thursday Movie Review- We Are Not Alone-Just Kidding-Maybe

You guys, aliens are real!!!

At least according to the movie The Fourth Kind.

Set in the fall of 2000 and purportedly based on actual events, The Fourth Kind stars Milla Jovovich as Dr. Abigail Tyler, a Nome, Alaska-based psychotherapist whose videotaped sessions with her patients offer the most compelling evidence of alien abduction ever documented.

Its freaking creepy. I saw this the summer it came out… alone… at night…. with only small children in their beds to protect me. And for a week straight, I was scared outta my mind.  I had seen the movie!! And even though I didn’t believe in aliens, that thought brought no comfort. I was scared because if by some crazy off-hand chance that aliens were real then I was fucked. I saw the movie… I knew their secret!!

The critics tore this movie apart. But probably cause they shit in their pants watching it!

The acting isn’t the best but the story itself is terrifying. They show actual tape footage of the people recounting the events of being taken by a strange thing (hello aliens!!).  Then it becomes like you are visiting the Exorcist!!!

First, Tyler’s husband, Will, is mysteriously murdered one night in his sleep, leaving her to raise their two children. She is left distraught and broken.

People of the town come to her with terrifying stories. Using hypnosis, Dr. Tyler  uncovers memories from her patients of alien abduction, and finds evidence suggesting that she may have been abducted as well.

The sessions with three different patients, all  have the same experience: every night they see a white owl staring at them through their windows and recount similar terrifying stories of creatures attempting to enter their homes.Throughout the film, Abbey is shown being interviewed on television during 2002, two years after the abductions occurred.

After hearing the similarities in the accounts of nightly occurrences, Abbey suspects these patients may have been victims of a non-human kidnapping. There is evidence that she herself may have been abducted when an assistant of hers gives her a tape recorder, the tape plays her voice and then there is the sound of something entering her home and attacking her. The attacker speaks in an unknown language. Abbey, though, has no memory of it.

Tyler befriends a language specialist who helps decode the unknown language.

Later, Tyler’s daughter, Ashley, is abducted. The local sheriff doesn’t believe Tyler and accuses her to be linked to her daughter’s disappearance. Tyler undergoes hypnosis in an attempt to make contact with these beings and reunite with her daughter.  Its videotaped and once hypnotized, it is revealed that Tyler witnessed the abduction of her daughter and also shows scenes of her own abduction, showing part of the abductors ship and it is hinted that they possibly took some human egg cells from Abbey as well. The camera scrambles, and Abbey begs to the alien that abducted Ashley to return her, the creature replies, saying that its own child was never returned to it and then calls its self the savior, then the father and finally ends with “I am…God”.

I have no idea what that could mean. Shivers ran through my body when I heard that part. Is it hinting that its child was taken for Jesus?

The film cuts to an interview with Tyler in which she explains that all three doctors with her were all abducted during that hypnosis session and none have memory of what happened.

Tyler then states that after the encounter she wakes up in a hospital after breaking her neck in the abduction. There,  the Sheriff  reveals that Will had actually committed suicide, showing that Abbey’s belief that he was murdered was merely a delusion. Later it is shown that Abbey is paralyzed, presumably due to her neck injury.

In the end, Tyler was never charged with anything and soon leaves Alaska for the East Coast, but still continues to search for Ashley. One of the doctors involved remains a psychologist and Odusami, the language decoder,  becomes a professor at a Canadian university. Both men, as well as the Sheriff refuse to be involved with the interview. And still, Ashley is never found. The TV host then leaves the conclusions up to the viewer.

So is any of this true??

According to a CNN story, there was a real string of disappearances in Nome. The FBI did investigate the disappearances, which took place between the 1960s and 2004, and concluded in 2006 that alcohol and harsh climate  was a  common factor in most of the disappearances.

Then the Alaska’s state examiner reported that she could not find records of an Abigail Tyler ever being licensed in any profession in Alaska. No one by that name lived in Nome in recent years, according to a search of public record databases. The president and CEO of the Alaska Psychological Association said they’ve never heard of the Alaska Psychiatry Journal (a magazine by Tyler), or of Abigail Tyler.

However what is interesting is that ufologist Budd Hopkins commissioned a survey of around 6,000 American adults regarding unusual experiences. Included were five which Hopkins and colleagues claimed were often indicative of alien abduction (the percentages in brackets indicate those who said it had happened to them at least once):

Waking up paralyzed with a sense of a strange person or presence or something else in the room [18%]

Experiencing a period of time of an hour or more in which you were apparently lost, but you could not remember why or where you had been [13%]

Feeling that you were actually flying through the air although you didn’t know how or why [10%]

Seeing unusual lights or balls of light in a room without knowing what was causing them or where they came from [8%]

Finding puzzling scars on your body and neither you nor anyone else remembering how you received them or where you got them [8%]

Three of the above items describe common symptoms of sleep paralysis. Needless to say, there is no convincing evidence for a link between any of the experiences described above and alien abduction. However, according to Hopkins, if you answered “yes” to four or five of the above items, you have probably been abducted by extraterrestrials.

So in whole, 3.7m Americans claim to have been abducted by aliens.

People … it was just a movie!! A pretty freaky one. So  I don’t know what you believe but I still don’t believe in aliens. And I still will prefer zombies to aliens any day!

My Life in 300 Words or Less

This is not going to about the election, who to vote for, or who I am voting for or whatever.

I know how I feel and that’s all I care about.

Plus it gets annoying.  Annoying is the people who swear the world is going to end if Obama wins. Shut the fuck up people. Tomorrow the sun will rise as it will the next day, the next day, and the next day.
And it doesn’t even matter you guys, the world is gonna end on December 21st anyway. Vote Mayan!!!

So back to what I originally was gonna post … I darn near forgot!

So here are something I have been thinking about in bullet point form. Feel free to discuss our organized and professional I am amongst yourselves.

  • It sucks to not have TV!! We have to wait a whole week for them to come out and align us with the sun or something like that. So I am depressed. I am missing my shows, football, my kids watching their cartoons and following me around asking for everything!  DIRECTV you have failed me!!!
  • Stop talking about the Walking Dead… I missed it!! God damn you Americans!!!
  • I may have to start clipping coupons. I need to save money. That or get a second job. Is anyone hiring?
  • Greatest singer ever: R Kelly. That guy can sing about anything. Sex, love, closets. Food for thought people.
  • Speaking of food…. I wish I had tamales.
  • I won tickets on my local and favorite radio show to go see Eddie Vedder!!! Yep Eddie Vedder… the singer of Pearl Jam. However, there is no Pearl Jam band anymore. It’s just Eddie Vedder with a ukulele. Hmmmm, unsure about this.

 

So there you have it. My life in 300 words or less.

Storm: Bring On the Crazy

Thanks to the internet, I have many friends in the East Coast. I know power is out but I am freaking out that I haven’t heard from them.

So in order to distract my mind from all the if’s, I streamed online for hilarious videos of people being crazy in the midst of the east coasts worst storm in years!!

This first video is near the center of where Hurricane Sandy hit, Atlantic City, New Jersey.

A reporter is out bearing it all for a great weather story stressing how serious the situation is and … well…. not everyone agrees.

On this  next video, I really hope this reporter has life insurance.

When they make this hurricane into a movie, they should call it Hurricane Sandy Epic Drift!!

Some people are not letting the storm stop them. Hurricane-smhurricane!

Others may feel the end is near and just living life to the fullest.  Gangnum Style.

And finally, we get the story straight out of someone who has been through this before.

Someone give these reporters a medal!!

Anyways: Stay Safe people. I am going back to worrying!!

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