Over the weekend I ran to the store and as I was walking in I saw parked up front a smart car.
Awwwwwww am I right??
However, I got angry! My Tahoe could have used that space!!! Notice how the smart car is this tiny thing in this space!!! You could fit five Smart cars in there!!! Why don’t we do that for now on?!?! Lets just cram five of them in one space. I like that idea!!
Yeah let’s do it!!
I don’t know if you remember but I wrote a blog many moons ago about the Smart Car and basically how they sucked. At the time, I was just being stupid and sarcastic. However a lot of people gave me grief about my blog in turn making me actually hate the Smart Car and their “supposed” purpose.
My theory is its a conspiracy by the government for control on the growing population. Convince the masses that it’s a cool unique smart car, have them by it, then BOOM! a 18 wheeler comes crashing into you leaving nothing but broken glass everywhere.
Touche government, touche.
Feel free to read up ….. What\’s the Deal-Smart Car
I love the Smart Car’s slogan. It’s so uncar or open your mind to the car that challenges the status quo.
Here is the so-called benefit to the Smart Car: Over 96 million Americans drive to work alone each day. That means there are about 288,675,000 empty seats commuting to and from work. Astonishing. That’s why we got rid of the backseat entirely.
I am sorry but that is stupid. If that is the case… then the whole of this car is for lonely fucks!! Fucks that don’t have kids or a lover!!! If a guy got rolled up in a Smart Car…. jaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I can just imagine what the “real package” looks like.
I’ll be like… I didn’t order a smart car! I ordered a bull dozer baby!!
People who drive these cars probably sing… Eric Carmen’s All By Myself!!
Yeah yeah I said!
Also, what the fuck is this!?!
“Look son, this is what you will inherit.”
“Gee Dad doesn’t look much bigger then the car I drive now.”
“I know what it looks like but it will save you a lot of gas and it will keep you very unlaid.”
“Awww really dad!! That’s what I always wanted…. a non pimp-mobile! I wanna stay a virgin forever. “
“Well here it is. I just gotta make sure no one sneezes on it til you turn 16!”
Well at least, you got the extended warranty.
Why is it called Smart Car anyways?
Is it just because it saves on gas? Is it because you not only bought a car but also a coffin and burial plot in one??
I am sorry but that ain’t very smart.
You know what is smart though??
A car that would prevent you from crashing. Yeah, that would be smart!
You know what would be smart… if there was a radar that would alert you when you got to close to another car. That would be smart!!
And lets say you ignored the alert, then a brake assist system would kick in and apply the brakes, bringing the car to a stop, if needed. Yes! That would be fucking intelligent!!
Too bad we don’t have this technology!
Mercedes has it! And yes Mercedes is actually a real life car!!!
Now shouldn’t that be called a Smart Car?
Just because Justin Bieber now wears glasses doesn’t make him smart…. so we wouldn’t call him that unless he was actually fucking smart, right??
I get the angle of the Smart Car but it doesn’t make sense!! I say this as I hit my head with my fists!
All these yuppie loving Smart Car drivers need to find an island and not shower together!!
(dropped the mic and walked away George Jefferson style)