In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Archive for the ‘Friendships’ Category

The Best Present In The World (my kids are so jealous!!)

The year was 1995. I was about to turn to 10 years old.  I was flying high…. on life people… stay with me!!!

I had just learned that my local radio station would be giving out the newly released VHS copy of the Lion King.

You guys at the time… I was obsessed with the Lion King. God damnit Mufasa dies!!! Its heart breaking!!! Despite the most gut-wrenching scene, I loved it.

Til this day I still know the whole movie by heart. Songs and all.

In fact, you should see the look in my kids’ eyes when they hear me sing the songs. I am like a God to them!!

Anyways…. so I was determined to win a VHS copy from the radio station of The Lion King. So for that whole day I spent the entire calling and redialing and calling and redialing. I never got through. Never… Got… Through….

It was devastating!

By the end of the day I was dehydrated and certainly famished. My mother snuck me pieces of bread but I was too afraid to fill my mouth in case the radio DJ answered and I will need to give the phrase that pays…. in VHS copies of The Lion King.

I was so sure I would win…. I was a  kid calling. Didn’t they know that?? Who were these grown ups calling? They couldn’t love the Lion King like I did.

Sure my mom took me to K-Mart the next day and bought the Lion King movie but that is besides the point. The point is the scarring.

Ever since that day…. I never tried to win anything ever again.

I threw away every Publishers Clearing House, ignored raffles, and especially radio station contests.

My little 9-year-old heart never recovered.

Until yesterday!!!

I get on the computer and read all my blogger friends’ blog and I saw this:

Who Wants a Chocolate Zombie Bunny by Thoughts Appear

And I just fell in love with the bunny. I love bunnies… especially when they are zombies!!!

All Thoughtsy asked for a vote and leave a comment and she would award the lucky winner. Guess what I did… well I voted.

Then I left a comment…. but then I thought… wait I need to express my utmost desire to have this zombie chocolate bunny. I was deserving…. deserving damnit!

So I left this comment:

OK first I am going to give you a guilt trip.
I never win anything!!! Once I stayed on the phone all day calling a radio station hoping to the 11th caller every hour to win a copy of the DVD Lion King.

A zombie chocolate bunny would be the best prize ever!!
I would love it…. and its a zombie!!! Zombies are the best present you give to someone you hardly know. And you hardly know me!!!
Its like I like you (chocolate talking) but if you cross me I will bite that head off (zombie talking).
P.S. Voted!!!!

Oh yea and I also threatened her.

Either way it worked…. and I won a ZOMBIE CHOCOLATE BUNNY!!

So behold my winnings!!

I can’t bring myself to eat it…. its tooo beautiful…. it needs to be worshiped like the deity its suppose to be.

So thanks so much Thoughtsy …. dreams really do come true… THANK YOU!!!!

Oh yea… that’s real blood. Chocolate blood!


Thursday Review Movie- Finding The Holy Grail

I have to say right off the bat that I loved the movie I saw last night.

Have you seen The Fisher King?

If you haven’t you need to see this movie!!

If you have, I am totally pist off at you for not telling me about this movie. How could I have ever missed this movie?!!

It came out in 1991… what the hell was I doing in 1991?? Oh, that’s right.  I was seven years old. I was a stupid annoying child probably in the midst of getting a spanking while this movie came out.

Anyways…. back to this glorious movie.

Actor and member of the Monty Python group Terry Gilliam directed this film. Gilliam is a true story-teller and in this movie he delights the eye as well as the soul.

Jeff Bridges plays New York’s #1 shock  radio DJ Jack Lucas, whose low opinion of humanity lends itself well to his radio talk show, where the enmity rubs off on his listeners. Jack is extremely self-centered, prideful, conceited and has no filter when it comes to the drivel he promotes on his radio show. However, one of his listeners takes to heart Jack’s rants and goes on a killing spree at a restaurant, murdering innocent people.

Hubba Hubba Jeff.

 Jack is so distraught at what his on-air suggestion brought that he sinks into a three-year depression, drinking himself to sleep and mooching off of his girlfriend Anne.

Yes, I know. She is very easy on the eyes.

So Jack reaches the end of his intake and tries to commit suicide. To his rescue comes a crazed but witty homeless man named Parry played by Robin Williams.

He tells Jack he’s destined for great things — all his has to do is find the Holy Grail (conveniently located in mid-town Manhattan) and save Parry’s soul. He also wants Jack to help him out with the woman of his dreams, Lydia Sinclair, a shy type who works at a publishing company. Parry was once a university professor who became unglued by a tragic event in his past. You find out that Parry was at that restaurant with his then wife when the listener of Jack’s radio show came him and fired killing his wife. Parry completely lost of trace of reality, and seems to be fighting public demons.

As the movie continues, you begin to wonder if we all have lost trace of some sort of reality. Parry’s fears are real and honest. The tragedy that happened to him is as real to him as Jack standing there.  When Jack discovers who Parry really is, he determined to set it right.

He spends the days with him and gets to know him, his friends, and their friendship starts to bloom.

There is a story that Parry tells Jack that sums up the movie in general and describes the relationship with he and Jack.

The Fisher King

It begins with the king as a boy, having to spend the night alone in the forest to prove his courage so he can become king. Now while he is spending the night alone he’s visited by a sacred vision. Out of the fire appears the holy grail, symbol of God’s divine grace. And a voice said to the boy, “You shall be keeper of the grail so that it may heal the hearts of men.” But the boy was blinded by greater visions of a life filled with power and glory and beauty. And in this state of radical amazement he felt for a brief moment not like a boy, but invincible, like God, so he reached into the fire to take the grail, and the grail vanished, leaving him with his hand in the fire to be terribly wounded. Now as this boy grew older, his wound grew deeper. Until one day, life for him lost its reason. He had no faith in any man, not even himself. He couldn’t love or feel loved. He was sick with experience. He began to die. One day a fool wandered into the castle and found the king alone. And being a fool, he was simple-minded, he didn’t see a king. He only saw a man alone and in pain. And he asked the king, “What ails you friend?” The king replied, “I’m thirsty. I need some water to cool my throat”. So the fool took a cup from beside his bed, filled it with water and handed it to the king. As the king began to drink, he realized his wound was healed. He looked in his hands and there was the holy grail, that which he sought all of his life. And he turned to the fool and said with amazement, “How can you find that which my brightest and bravest could not?” And the fool replied, “I don’t know. I only knew that you were thirsty.”

When Parry is telling the story, you see that the story hits home for Jack.

So Jack helps to set up the new girl Parry is in love with him.

I love the scene where Parry and Lydia go on their first date.  It’s so romantic but not a cheesy romantic. It’s like a heartfelt sincere moment that they share. During the whole dinner, they hit it off completely. As Parry walks her home, Lydia starts to criticize  their blossoming relationship.

But as Lydia is already dooming their relationship, Parry swoops her up and saves her.

The movie also focuses on Jack and his relationship with Anne. Anne is clearly in love with Jack. She takes care of him, she puts up with his bull shit, but he so self-absorbed that he doesn’t see that. He takes her for granted.

Jack realizes that in order to save his new friend, he must save himself first. He has it through his mind that he is scum, that he is responsibility for Parry’s loss, and that he is unworthy of love so he pushes away anyone that seems to care.

This movie is funny, creative, sweet and even has a bit of fantasy in it. The 137 minutes sail by effortlessly.

The Fisher King emphasizes the purpose of fairy tales in our lives, and the way a fantasy can help us see reality more clearly.

See this!!!

I Just Got Tagged…. Grrrrrreeeaaaaaatttttttttt


I was unexpectedly tagged.

So I don’t know if I should run after someone or wait my impending death with a meat grinder.


I am like totally gay cause I like doing things like this.

So let’s get this thing started so you can figure what the hell I am talking about.

I gotta thank Moon for distraction of what I am really doing.

(planning in world domination)


You must post the rules.

Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you tagged.

Tag eleven people and link them to your post.

Let them know you tagged them.

So here we go….

Favorite Color?

I love red. It’s the best color in the red. If you disagree, then please put you face here….

What season do you prefer the most?

I prefer Summer. I like the weather where I live. Its nice and dry and hot.

If you won the lottery, what would you buy first?

I would buy land to build my dream house on.

Pepsi or Coca Cola?

Coca Cola…..  it’s the God of all soda.

White or dark liquor or do you prefer wine or beer?

I don’t know…. I am still trying to figure that out.

How many shoes do you own?

Maybe 20

Do you eat breakfast in the morning?

UNLESS someone is buying… no.

When watching the news, do you become upset with the things you see and here?

Only certain things like child abuse cases

Room full of rattle snakes or a room full of people?

Room full of people….

Would you forgive me if I stole something out of your home?

Probably not…. Just tell me you are going to steal it and we are cool.

What is your favorite song? (if you can’t choose one, what do you listen to the most right now)

My favorite song is Can’t Help Falling in Love.


Here are the question for the people I will tag….

1.What does the saying “Kicking ass and taking names” even mean???

2. You are driving. Someone flips you off. What is the best reaction?

3. If you could be someone else for a day who would you be?

4. What is the craziest thing you have done?

5. How will you survive the Zombie apocalypse?

6. Can you explain what is wrong with the Olsen Twins and Lindsey Lohan?

7. What deadly sin are you guilty of committing?

8. What is one song you are embarrassed to like?

9. What is a day in your life like?

10. Can you dance like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever?

11. What kind of child are you? 60’s child? 70’s child? etc etc?


Tag!! You are It!!!

Answer the questions, and follow the rules!!

1. Suicidesal5’s Blog

2. Jumping in Mud Puddles

3. Just Married

4. Rub Hub

5. Me, Myself, and i

6. Thoughts Appear

7. Girl Contrary

8. Wise Counsel

9. Brea’s Air

10. Rumpy Dog

11. Pkitass


It’s All About Me Me Me!!!!

Guess what bitches???!!!

Just playing.. I should never have called you a bitch. Its wrong, degrading, and  a futile attempt to sound cool and hip.

Truth is I don’t have to get all Bad Girls Club/Jersey Shore on you.

Plus some of you readers are dudes and that just doesn’t make any sense unless we were in prison!

Where was I?

Oh yea… I have recently received (i before e except after c)  not 1 but 3 awards!!

I received two Versatile Blogger Awards

and The Liebster Award

This is what happens when you lie on countless of applications. Eventually, it will all pay off!!

And right now I am channeling Jim Carey in The Mask!

You love me! You really love me!!

And like everything in life there is a catch….

But the email said I could test a iPad 2 for free!!!!

Rules are in order …. And I must follow them.

I posted the awards above but I must also thank the wonderful people who nominated me for this bounty!!

I thank Thought Chronicle , Jumping in Mud Puddles , ThypolarLife .

I must say I love your blogs!! Not only are they funny, thought-provoking, and great blogs but you guys make me wanna blog too.

I also must list and inspire 7 things about myself.

1. I’m super bad ass. I was bad ass but now that I lived til 27 I am now super bad ass.

2. I wish I could sing. I don’t know if I would be a professional singer or not but damnit every classy lady should be able to carry a tune!

3. I don’t know about you but work cramps my style. I rather be asleep, cleaning the toliets, even changing diapers then be at work.

4. I hate pompous pricks but who doesn’t!!

5. I wish I had been born in the hippie era. I sometimes feel lost in this era. At least in the hippie era, I could blame the drugs for the confusion.

6. I am addicted to iTunes.

7.  This is my favorite number.

Now I must nominate 5 for the Versatile  award and 5 for the Liebster award.

Now as any good mother, I can’t have favorites but who am I kidding it’s usually the quietest kid at the moment.

So for the Versatile Award I nominate 5 wonderful bloggers …..

Pkitass because when she finally does blog its epic and controversial!! And funny. Her journey to Costco and the play by-play action on scoring samples is definitely in my play book!

Wise Counsel is different and very insightful.  The quotes  and poems are always nice to hear and make your day.

RubHub is blogger that does simply that. She blogs about her life and is very candid and smart. I sometimes feel its more like  a diary than a blog. Then I feel bad cause I always read my sister’s blog when she wasn’t around.

Ziiplight . This blog is different than most to what I subscribe too. Its intersting and there are always amazing pics to look at! Great photography blog!

ThypolarLife Her blogs are well written, funny, smart but then they can turn and tell a gripping life story that you can’t forget.

Congrats! I like Dooney and Bourke if you wanna get me a thank you present!

Now for the Liebster award, I nominate these 5 bloggers

Thoughts Appear Never have I met anyone who loves and worships sweets as this girl!! And then she does this awesome spin and makes it all funny and cute in her blog. Hlarious!! She also does great movie reviews!

Jumping in Mud Puddles is a hilarious blog that tells stories of her self as a child and her crazy antics with her mother. She kisses bees, dreams of being a smoking actress and still to this day she tries to invent things like a pencil that is also a flask! Brilliant!!!

Girl Contrary She is such a hilarious blogger. Her thoughts became words and they never leave you bored. Girl is witty, funny, and a girl after my own heart whatever that means.

The Ramblings This is a great blog! Tori is hilarious as she blogs about motherhood, marriage and just life in general. Her funny perspective will leave you thinking and having a great life.

Bridget Jones Has Nothing On Me is such an awesome blog. This girl literally needs to be the 5th member of the Sex and The City Girls. She is crazy and fun and you are secretly wishing she would get laid!!!

Congrats to all of you!!!

So there you have it winners!!

Now go out there and prove me right!!!

Seriously though…. write your little heart out people!!

New Year Resolutions With More Scars, Nudity, and Hopefully making friends at AA!!!

That was last year….and I totally rocked it out!! Like totally. Sadly I don’t have any tattoos or piercings or scars to commemorate this past year. Fuck I should have thought of that before Sunday!! I could have lit my self on fire or something. I did have a couple of close calls while making pizza!!

I already posted my first and foremost resolution that is  important to me.  I thought, I need more. What’s better than self disappointment on December 31st of 2012!!!

If there is even a December 2012. Finger crossed!!

I read all these resolution list of people who now feel resolutions are so passé.

Fuck you!!

I am uncool and will be uncool til the day I die! I will continue to do resolutions til the die!

Not keeping promises is the American way!

So to begin…. music!!

Resolution 2. I Need More Scars

Scars from the year to show that I am actually doing something. I need to start jumping off buildings, getting dirty, I need a damn neck brace!!

Resolution 3.  I will try to be active everyday even if its one activity.

I am gonna go balls to the wall with this. Yesterday I rode a bike. Today I will jump on the trampoline. Tomorrow I will smash glasses with a practiced high kick. It will be glorious.

Resolution 4. I am going to try to wake up …. (say it, say it Marina!!) earlier.

God, I hate waking up. God I hate waking up early. It’s always in the morning do I wish I was dead!! Cause then I could sleep!!!

But I need to wake up early. Part of my stress is being fucking late everywhere. Seriously, how do you other grown ups do it?

I try going to bed early, but I can’t shut down.  And even if I get proper sleep, I can’t remember why I have to wake up in morning!!

I don’t remember work or getting my daughter to school. I can’t compute. So nothing is important in the morning.

I lost the getting up battle today, but I will try again.

I need a wake up service in my room. I need someone’s annoying voice to bug me at 6:15am in the morning.

What is my mother doing around that time??

Resolution 5.  I am going to drink more. Seriously. I need to drink… and more often. My life is getting faster and faster and stressful… I need to work on my vices and fixes.

I am envious of those who tweet that are a  enjoying a nice vodka and cranberry. I figure that if I can start I might be able to handle the step son when he comes over and STAYS for 17 days straight.

I could have used alcohol the entire holidays!!

Also, if I get drunk periodically throughout the year, I will thus create a resolution for next year on attending AA regularly.I know I will totally score loads of friends there.

Resolution 6. More nudity.

Seriously. I need to make a day outta the month that I can just get naked. Not for sexually purposes but to air creases, to appreciate the nice cotton in my bed sheets and the leather on my couches. I think my husband and I can both agree that finding crumbs on each others’ bodies during sex is  bonus features that you never stop loving.

Sex and a snack!


Also, I plan to read more, work harder, learn something different more often, be more open minded about things.   and a bunch of other crap …. etc etc…

So there you have it… my resolution list!!

Easy enough to make, easy enough to break…. all in the American Spirit!

Truth Is … I Don’t Know What the Truth Is

Besides the wonderful day of Thanksgiving, my sister’s wedding was also this past week. How many times have I mentioned that here? None. I know I haven’t mentioned it on here at all. I really don’t know why. Maybe it was to NOT deal with it and NOT think about it. Because the very thought of it makes me wanna cry.

My sister and I were extremely close when we were little. She was my best friend and we did everything together. I was the oldest and I willingly and almost begged her to come with me everywhere. She knows all my dark secrets, things we don’t speak of , things we just smile about, and things we are embarrassed we did. She was the baby in the house and she was rightly treated as one.  Her and I were and still are so different.

So as the process  to planning her wedding went,  the more and more uncomfortable I got about it. I really started to pretend it was not happening. Truth is, we weren’t as close after I got married. I think in ways I think she felt I betrayed her. See, I married someone who wasn’t the same religion as my parents and my sister. So thus I created this wedge. However, I tried to make it work. I was constantly calling her, constantly asking her to do things with me, but she was pulling away.

After a while she grew up, she started her rebellious stage, had boyfriends, partied, and then finally got in engage. And on the day before her wedding, I was swept away with this wave emotion. She doesn’t need me anymore nor does she want too. I have this strong feeling that the cords have been cut. Truth is, I really haven’t felt I was important to her and she was to me. And now she and her husband plan to move away. I feel like I am losing her.

Friday I did.

I cried when she danced with my dad. It was because she is gone. She is no longer ours, she is his. And instead of growing up with me, she is going to go a different path. A different path that I can’t follow.

I was so depressed and emotionally all weekend. Gus kept asking me why I was sad, I couldn’t explain it. Am I happy for her? In a way. When I left the wedding reception, I went to hug my new brother-in-law, and I told him that I loved my sister and I welcome him to the family.  What I really wanted to tell him was if he hurts my sister in any way I will cut his balls off. He didn’t deserve my sister and I wished he would just give her back.

There are things at the wedding and even during the week that I just wanted to express to say to my sister. Things that she should have known already. Things that she could read in my voice but just ignored.Things that if I had said would not have mattered.

Even with her pushing me away for whatever reason, I don’t hate her. I want too. It would be easier. I just can’t. I want to mad at her for telling me she had no time for me, or for saying mean things behind my back about my money situation, the way I raise my kids, or even just me in general. But I can’t.

Why do I need her? She doesn’t need me. She never has.

The truth is, I can’t explain these feelings. I can’t the lump in my throat. I can’t explain the anger. I can’t explain that for the first time ever she actually left me behind.

Why can’t we just be sisters?



Wwwwellllccccommmeeee to the GREATEST Show in the Southern California Area!!!!

Goooooooooood Morning!!!!

Are you ready?????

What were you and your children doing Saturday morning? Probably you all were hung over from Friday night!

Huh? Huh?

While you were being lazy, somewhere sometime (technically the greater Southern California area at about 11:45am) this marching band was kicking ass and taking names.

Feast your eyes on this band!!!

If more half time shows provided entertainment such as this, I might not in be the bathroom trying to get rid of the gallon of soda I just drank!!

Today I like to feature a marching band who deserves no introduction but I am still going to give them one because you probably have no idea who they are but should!

Panorama High School won 1st place for Marching Band in their division, 1st place in drum line, and 3rd place for drill team!!

Hey Detroit, this band is waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better than Nickleback!! Way better!!

Come to think of it, I know I will be in the bathroom during Nickleback’s show!!

Presenting the PHS Marching Band and some girls that cheer but really aren’t cheerleaders!!!

Pretty damn awesome am I right???

Why am I writing about this??

Well because our very own Pkitass’s  offspring is the band!! She is  the one in black and gold. You see her? You see her???

Not only did they rock it (winning!!) but they also know how to make a circle in formation!! I know I can’t do that!

(Anyone looking for someone to sabotage a marching band formation, I am your woman!!)

And Pkitass’s  daughter, CeCe is one hell of a saxophone player!! Props to you CeCe! You ain’t sitting on some grass in front of your city hall “occupying it”.

NO! You are occupying a  football field, carrying a sax, marching in abstract shapes, and still rocking it!!

Occupy that 1 percenters!!!

I salute you Panorama High School and I salute you CeCe … daughter of Pkitass of where the Chihuahuas Rule.

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