In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

As some of you may know … or not know …. I can’t remember whether I announced to the world or not that I went camping last week for four fucking days.

I am such a glass house.

I like camping and have been going since I was young. The only thing that sucks is the whole bathroom/shower and the lack thereof.

However we went to a location where there were flush-able toilets and public shower. So it worked out. All I had to be weary of was not catching foot athlete, hepatitis, or dislocating my hip climbing the big rocky hills to get to the bathroom and back to the camp site.  I went to the bathroom every 30 minutes!!

Why?

Because I have kids with bladders the size of grape nuts!!!

Ha ha I said nuts….
————————–

So this weekend…. I have no idea how I stayed in the loop with the going on’s of the world but I did. Because I care people…. I care.

I especially fear for you guys safety at Wal-Mart. Apart from the usual crazy people … there are REAL psychos there.

Be warned!!!

Meet Aaron Morris.

This guy is in jail because he couldn’t help himself.

Morris is accused of groping a woman’s buttocks outside a dressing room at a Wal-Mart in North Lauderdale.

During questioning by law enforcement, Morris copped to grabbing the victim’s rear end and provided an explanation, of sorts, for his behavior, “Her booty looked so good,” he noted, “I just couldn’t resist touching it.”

Shudder….

Seriously why wasn’t this guy’s face mased to death!

So next time you need to shop for dinner…. don’t!

———

A successful businessman is selling his life on eBay.

What the ….???

After working hard to build a business and achieve millionaire status, a Florida entrepreneur is selling it all on eBay. This includes his successful video game stores, two beachside condos, several expensive cars and three kayaks. All for the small price of $3.5 million.

Small?!?!? If you have that money, you are rich!! You don’t need this guy’s life. You obviously have your own!!!

At least make it affordable!! Can we do it in payments?? Can he finance me??

 ”My name’s Shane, and I’m putting my American dream up for sale,” the young businessman says in his Ebay ad. Shane got the idea to pass on his success to somebody else after he heard about other people doing something similar. What?!?!? There were others??!!

He and his family are in search of a new challenge, and want to visit the world, so they decided to sell everything they’ve built so far. “If you build a castle, it’s awesome to sell it and then start building another one, hopefully bigger and better,” Shane said.

Excuse me for being shallow but …. I wanna buy this!! This is happiness. I want it!!!

Get this guy a brain scan just in case….

——————

And everyone is just going gaga over Miley Cyrus’ new do. If you just went huh to that sentence … lucky lucky you!

It is apparently a pixie cut.

This is soooo not a pixie cut!! Isn’t a pixie hair cut suppose to be cute?!?!

Help me here people.

It’s like my mother used to say….

“Did she get in a fight with a lawn mower?”

The answer is yes … yes she did.

 

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Comments on: "While You Crying Over the Olympics/Cutting Your Toe Nails I Was Trying Not to Dislocate My Hip" (9)

  1. Funny — I thought the exact same about that haircut. she looks good with short hair but why did it have to come out looking like THIS? I think she’s been out of the limelight too long and had to do something shocking to get back in. WIN. The ebay guy is a copycat. Someone already did it…there is a book out there called “My Life for Sale”….talks about this guy who sold off everything on ebay. What people won’t do for a little fame and fortune huh? Interesting look at human character!! Now the butt groper guy — he’s just gross.

  2. Obviously Miley runs with scissors. Isn’t that hideous!? Brittany Spears did a better job on her own head!

    So, stay away from dressing rooms at Walmart, not that I ever use them, but I’ll keep that tidbit in mind.

    How much could I get for my life on Ebay? I could use the money. Let’s see, 2 chickens, 9 POS cars, 1 PITA swimming pool, 1 wussy ass husband, house between two corn fields…..$300K? Not a bad piece of change. Get’s me the hell out of Pennsytucky!

  3. I like her haircut… Maybe cause I use to have the same cut?

  4. Crazy… You want the money and stuff….I want the killer ass!! Lol

  5. Wow, someone selling their life on eBay and Miley Cirus getting in a fight with a lawnmower, go figure! That pixie cut looks like she was attacked with scissors and obviously lost the fight to her assailant. And, I hope you had fun with your camping trip, you are so much more hardcore than me. I have never camped in my life and I don’t think I could do it, I love my showers and restrooms, that is just too much for me to go without!

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