So I am calling in a bomb threat today.
No reason just thought I needed a good reason NOT to go to the dentist’s office today. You know, cause there is a bomb.
I mean, yea sure, I may have called it in but someone crazy may actually follow through.
Hindsight 20/20: I probably shouldn’t have said the b word. I will be on the look out for men in suits running in the building. I am Mexican enough to probably look like a Middle Eastern person.
I love America I swear! I never have taken flying lessons and I hate fertilizer!!
If I was white I am sure there would no problem saying the b-word. I mean… white people don’t even have to stop at the border patrol stop points around here. Not me. I have been asked many times to vacate the vehicle and watch as they search the car. And its Mexican border patrol agents that do it too! I wouldn’t trust other Mexicans either I guess. I might be smuggling Mexican cheese or some foreign plants!!
But anyways back to white people…. you guys don’t know how good you got it!! Its like this invisible pass to do anything in the world. Cause you can’t look anything else but white!!
I, on the other hand, look Mexican, American Indian, an actual Indian from India, Arab-y, and whatever the Kardashians are. I am lying about that last one. That one would be more of a compliment.
Once someone said I looked like this woman on a cover of a National Geographical magazine. I don’t have to tell you that you do not want to look anything or anyone of the Nat Geo magazine. Sure enough, the woman was of some Amazon tribe and she was missing teeth. Why? Because she was wearing them on a necklace around her neck.
See what I did there… I circled back to my main topic. That is precision. I am like a Gillette razor.
God I can’t remember the last time I was at a dentist. I mean I went when I was kid and teenager. But then once you become a teenager, it’s not like you are responsible enough to continue going to the dentist. You are too busy drinking and eating candy. Lots of candy!
This would be a good time to thank your mothers right now. If it wasn’t for her… I may actually look like the Amazon lady from the Geo magazine right about now.
I wonder how that Amazon lady is doing anyways. I hope she didn’t lose anymore teeth. That piece of thread holding her teeth looked a little flimsy.
It is funny because even though the pic of her possibly looking like me scared the crap outta me I can never forgot her. Kinda hard when she are now scared to make facial expressions that might make you actually look like her sister!
Anyways, I named her Mooky. I dedicate today’s post to her.
I plan to brush my teeth fifty time before the appointment as well as floss like a mother.
Older folks don’t get visited by the tooth fairy. Instead we make ornaments of teeth. Hmmm, I wonder if there is a market for teeth.
Can you sell them to children??
I don’t know if you can tell but I am freaking scared. Going to the dentist changes you. At least for the day. Your tooth-brush breaks because you use it forty million times in an hour. I was going to wear a cute little dress but thought against. I don’t know how far you gotta spread your legs on that chair.
If you didn’t know, dentist do things to you when you are put under the laughing gas.
Like have sex on you… or take your last $4.
I don’t know why they gotta do you like that. Maybe its cause they aren’t actually doctors and are internally pist. They are doctors but they probably get bullied by actual doctors. It is very high school if you ask me.
I much rather them have sex on me… at least with the $4 I can buy a durable piece of cord for my new teeth assorted gems.
Fuck… wish me luck.