In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

You guys …  I am really going through some emotional stuff over here and I need your support!

Seriously.

Hold my hand … Good. Now look at me while you read my words… look at me!! Good.

In recent events, my world has been sent in a whirl wind. I don’t know how much more I can take.

It all started when Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt divorced.

But, but you promised to be together forever!!

Then Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe, J-Lo and Ben Affleck, Heidi Klum and Seal, Robin Wright Penn and Sean Penn, Scarlet Johansson and Ryan Reynolds, and then Katy Perry and Russel Brand. Who else could love that guy!??!?

I think of Kelly Preston and the fact that John Travolta might be gay!!

And when I think I can’t take anymore… I am hearing reports that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are on the rocks.

I can’t handle this information… my state of mind is just to weak!

I am losing it!

Please tell me there is some love in the world…. Kristen Stewart and Robert Patterson are still doing great, right?

Right?

Right?!?!??!!??

I see you all laughing at this blog… completely thinking that I am just kidding. Am I though? Am I?!?!?

That is why I became an alcoholic for a day and half. Vodka flavored whipped creme completes me.

—–

Now to the nitty-gritty…

Batman can fly people! He can!!

Some physicists nerds at the University of Leicester claimed that Batman could fly. However, he would travel so fast, his landing would be the end of him. Bat guts everywhere!

They did some study and their conclusions was published in published in the University of Leicester Journal of Special Physics Topics.

Nerds just ruined Batman for me!!

——

In Australia,  police responding to a call got more than they bargained for when an eager bachelorette party mistook them for strippers.

The women reportedly attacked the cops tearing at there clothes. Man, ladies… don’t appear so eager!

What did these cops look like anyways? Cause if they look anthing like ours…

I’m just saying!!

———-

And finally, we can all agree that people from Florida are crazy. Some deal in bath salts, some eat peoples’ faces. It’s a lot of chaos over there.

This story is just further evidence that we need to check the water.

A burglar suspected to be behind a string of break-ins at an apartment complex in East Orlando is stealing nothing and harming no one. The man prefers to lie in bed and talk to his victims, one alleged victim said.

The woman, who was not hurt, feared that the burglar would turn violent on her. She allegedly ordered him to leave the apartment and he complied.

Hmmm, he doesn’t sound like a burglar to me. He sounds like an unannounced house guest. One that you just don’t know. You can’t call him a burglar if HE IS NOT STEALING!

Police said the burglar hasn’t hurt anyone but that they want to arrest him as soon as possible because they are not sure what he’s going to do next. Investigators are handing out flyers at an apartment complexes in Dovetail Villas and the Renaissance Apartments, hoping for a tip.

“He had cologne on he had nice dress slacks on. He’s not homeless, mental issues probably,” said the alleged victim.

“I hope they catch him. He really needs to get caught because he’s a psychopath.”

Would you guys feel better if did steal your TV?
Make friends people! Life is bigger then your Facebook. Unless of course you have more than 1,000 friends. If that’s the case, stay home!

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Comments on: "While You Were Experencing Beer Goggles/Taking Off Yours Clothes/Trying to Remember Your New Guest’s Name, I Was Hyperventilating Through A Brown Paper Bag!" (13)

  1. JUSTIN AND SELENA ARE ON THE ROCKS??? NOOO!!!

  2. ryoko861 said:

    Don’t forget Tom and Katy! Oh the horror!!
    Oh, geez, did that just send you over the edge? OMG, I am SO sorry!

    • Actually with them… I have no feeling for.

      Its like they are dead… dead and weird and I am just indifferent to the whole thing.

      • ryoko861 said:

        You’re numb to it.
        I was surprised at first, then thought it must really be a bitch to live with his awesomeness all the time.

      • That is such a good way of putting it… his awesomeness.
        I would be pissed if I found him jumping on the couches in the house. That would have done it for me.

      • ryoko861 said:

        I think that did it for a lot of people! Like, wow, what the hell was he thinking? Even Oprah had to be a little shocked at that behavior. But it got him publicity. And being an A Lister, you can do what you want.

  3. That guy that lays in bed with people doesnt sound half bad. Seems like a real friendly guy. The cologne though, that might be a little much.

  4. I just read that Kristen and Rob were thinking of having a baby, so I think they’re good…for now.

  5. I only stay up to date on these celeb happenings through you Marina! I totally don’t know anything about what’s going on. I told my mom, “Tom and Katie Holmes are breaking up” and she said to me “That is SO last week!” See? I’m totally lost!

  6. Step away from the tabloids and no one gets hurt.

    If I can find the chatting burglar, I can help him. If he wants to bare his soul to total strangers who may not pay any attention to him, he should be writing a blog! Oh wait, maybe he is already and is frustrated by the lack of “connection”. It’s not me, I swear, I don’t live anywhere near Florida, and I haven’t visited there in DAYS!

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