In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

I cursed the day this morning. As soon as I heard the alarm, I heard the most horrible livid words come spewing out of my mouth.

Me? The Saint.

I know right? I am just as surprised as you. Mother fucking Monday ruining my day.

Mondays make it hard for a me to smile. In fact, I probably won’t smile until 11:18 A.M. and not a minutes less.

Studies show that I am going to arrive  late to work and actually work only 3 hours.  I am fucking screwed today people!! All because it’s a Monday.

I figured that there has to be way…. there has to be a way to beat the negativity that Mondays bring.

Work is my tribe.  I spend more time here then I do at home (someone needs to fix that!!). I need to reconnect with these people cause though, I hate the majority of them, they are still my tribe. We  are essentially cavemen in city suits.  And we are experiencing this Monday together.

Sure there are some I would let the Saber tooth tiger of life eat like the crazy always cheerful receptionist in Admin who I think is high on Meth and not the supposed “high on God” she so claims.

Perhaps I need to linger around the ole coffee pot and connect. You know, feel part of the tribe.

But oh God, there is “Dipweed” of Purchasing that sooooooooooo wants to tell you about his weekend. He stands there staring at you with his goofy smile, watching you prepare the shit you call coffee but can actually fuel a 18 wheeler.

He asks how was your weekend. I know he doesn’t really wanna know about my weekend…. I answer him anyways counting down in my head how long it will take him to interrupt me…

1…2…3…

“That’s great… we had a barbecue this weekend. Had the in-laws over. You know how that goes… my daughter said the cutest thing…. blah blah blah…”

Why isn’t this coffee poison?!?!

 And after that … well its all down hill after that.

The next few hours are for remorse…. remorse and regret about not fully enjoying the weekend, not taking more naps, not watching more tv, not appreciating the bed/sofa/refrig.

Monday …. you suck. No matter how I try to see it you are trouble. You bring more days just like you!  You remind me how short life is and how I can’t do it because I am too busy doing the responsibilities you bring in!!  It’s the longest day of the week; it’s a proven scientific fact. Each second is .88892% longer. Just because it’s Monday.

Plus I heard that Monday eats small children, puppies, and little people.

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Comments on: "This Just In: Mondays are More Depressing than We Thought" (11)

  1. Honestly, I wish I could bitch about Mondays. I don’t have Mondays. My days of the week all run together. I don’t even know what day of the week it is half the time. Hanging around the house is boring. I know, to you that sounds awesome. But it’s not. No human interaction (other than my son stuffing YouTube videos under my nose), redundant housecleaning and pacing looking for something to do. It’s reeeeeally boring.

    What you need my dear is a new job with new people and new challenges! You’re wasting yourself there! Your mind is going to mush! And that drive is killing you! Find something new!

    • Really?? I should huh?
      I was starting to get used to the fact that I would eventually drive myself off the cliff. There is peace in mind knowing how you will die

  2. iamnotshe said:

    OK, i know it’s Tuesday … and i’m still feeling depressed!!!! Monday sucked. OH, i always thought they sucked more than i thought. xo melis

  3. “Plus I heard that Monday eats small children, puppies, and little people.”—I knew it.

  4. .!. Mondays .!. In the rear hole !!!

  5. Oh man this completely summed up how I feel about my day today, if I could I would print this out, tape it to my desk and read it every Monday just for something to laugh about!

  6. iamnotshe said:

    I just snagged a look at Office Space, the movie. I watched it this weekend again. I JUST NEVER GET TIRED OF THAT MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Sickof WOrk said:

      Mmmm-ok then… We’re going to need you to come in next Sat and Sun so you can’t watch this subversive movie any more…

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