In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Dear Word Press

Dear WordPress,

Who do my friends gotta nail in order to get me Freshly Pressed, man?

I followed all your rules about Tags, Categories. I am putting myself out there. Twitter is pimping me. I can’t be any more pimped!! The STD’s need to pus up and heal!!!

I say, Word Press, start in alphabetical order of all blogs by their blog title. That way everyone gets a turn.  Obviously, you will have to read each of the blogs to determine whether they are Word Press material but too bad.

I didn’t sign up for the job. YOU DID!

I also suggest you also give preference to people who have been here a while. I have been blogging close to 3 years. Where is my 3 year anniversary blogging certificate? Maybe you could send me a jacket or a watch.

Something to know you value my words and thoughts and the fact that I assist in helping bringing people to this site!!!

How you pick me dumbfounds me?

What exactly are your qualifications for being Freshly Pressed?

Republican? Recently off of Oxycontin?

Do you allow cussing?

If not, say something!

I mean it’s not going to stop me from fucking cussing but then I can start Occupy Word Press and get you to change your liberal minds.

One step at a time, Word Press. One step at a time.

So please, Word Press lower your standards!! That way you can Freshly Press someone and make their day… like me!

Think of the lowly housewife who needs to vent. If not, she has enough chemicals under her kitchen sink to blow us all sky-high!

Think of the regular ole redneck who just wants to blog about catching gators and restoring his pappy’s pappy’s pappy’s pappy’s pappy’s house.

Think of the little Mexican girl who never had the balls to actually write anything so she gets writing outta her system by blogging about how hot Bo Derek is and we all should have plans prepared for the nearing Zombie Apocalypse.

Think.

Wanna do me a favor?

Freshly Press this!

Sincerely,

Marina Sleeps

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Comments on: "Dear Word Press" (7)

  1. I honestly don’t know what their criteria is for having the prestigious honor of having your blog posted on the home page. Honestly, half the ones posted I question WHY are they there! My cat could produce a better post! I love the idea of Occupy WordPress!

    Um, how would we do that?

  2. iamnotshe said:

    Giddyup! I’d press ya! Too funny!!!!! xo m

  3. I hear ya sister! woo woo!

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