In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Every morning as I get onto Interstate 10 to make my 40 minute commute to the other side of town I must deal with horrific traffic.

It’s always bumper to bumper. And for some reason, there are always areas that are the worse. Everyone seems to go to extremely slow in certain parts. And then there is always some accident, some fender bender, that slows up the whole process.

You know the purpose of traffic??

The government invented it to thin out the herd.

Its true… I blame everything on the government. However, until the government starts releasing information on whether aliens are real or not, George Bush Jr’s IQ scores, or what really is behind the Declaration of Independence, they will always be a suspect!!

So back to what I was saying… Oh yea… traffic and how it’s all part of the government’s plan to control population.

The USA can’t just come out and go all China on us. Who wants to be like China?? Not us!!

So instead of commanding how many babies you can have, they think of ingenious ways that we can or will off ourselves.

What is more life threatening than traffic?!?!

Death does a three-way with traffic.

Yes there is sex in everything!!

First, traffic gets so crazy it affects us physically. Thus we create accidents. Traffic will enrage us because a) a slow dumbass is in the fast lane b)18 wheelers are part of traffic c)someone is always running late.

And due to traffic, we will make mistakes. And those mistakes will cost us… dearly. And then we will be dealing with the traffic into getting heaven. But that’s all whole different conspiracy!

We will change lanes too suddenly without warning or the classic move where we are riding someone’s ass and BAM! we smashed into them.

It’s all part of the plan.

You die and that is one less person the government has to worry about. The population gets thinner every morning.

The other way traffic is psychologically.

Its gets into our mind man. Traffic will infuriate us making us become natural-born killers. We start to think evilly.

Case in point: Yesterday morning as I was approaching the exit to get on the interstate, I saw the massive traffic jam. And then I thought, if there are so many accidents every morning, why is there still traffic?

I, and I am ashamed to admit it, was thinking if half of these people were gone, there would be no traffic! Getting to work would be a walk in the park!!

Traffic got into my mind… and my soul!!

God damn traffic.

I wished everyone dead.

Why?

Just so I could to work.

Fuck work!!

Work can wait.

Its time we take back America folks!

We need to smash this greed and evil that lurks on the corners of highways!

I plan to plant sunflowers in every part of the freeway!!

Then maybe, start putting hobos to work holding inspirational signs reminding us to love and think of peace.

Maybe we can join hands in the morning and sing songs by The Byrds and Jefferson Airplane!

Ok Ok, you got me. I am trying to bring back the 60’s.

However, we can all agree that traffic is still the devil.

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Comments on: "Traffic- A Post About Whatever" (8)

  1. Our roadways can’t handle the amount of people. They were designed for the population of the 60’s and 70’s. I have Rt. 22 running through two states. It was built in the 50’s! As a runway in case we needed emergency landing during war time! So as the times went on, the population grew. No one took that into account. Now? A 10 minute ride to the mall now takes 20-25 minutes. Don’t dare go during rush hour! And the tractor trailers? I live in an area that has to be at least 30% logistic warehousing! Trucks are coming and going 24/7! They really screw up the traffic! We need to go back to using trains for transportation of goods. It would definitely clear up some of the congestion on the roadways. Half these truckers are jacked up on meds, too, which doesn’t help!
    Don’t forget to factor in the money that Obama has given the states for road work. That’s a traffic hazard in itself. And the road crews will take their sweet time fixing them just to stay employed. Meanwhile, there’s a 4 mile backup….2 miles of which has been coned off with no work going on what so ever. Welcome to America!

  2. For a minute I am actually glad to live in the middle of nowhere where cows out number people and Amish buggies ride four-deep to the farm. Traffic sounds dreadful.

  3. Quit! Then we can all live on love (that’s my plan). TRAFFIC SUCKS! that is definitely something I DO NOT MISS from California. Ugh. You couldn’t pay me to move back into the middle of that crap 🙂

  4. I avoid traffic but hoping on a tollway and generally I can go about 80 mph on it, but whenever I get behind a slow person in the fast lane, I always feel bloodthirsty! Or, if I go local, the traffic is a beast and I start to hyprvenilate if I think that the green light is going to turn red before I can get through it.

  5. I love this damn blog. You rock and traffic sucks. Crazy shit but it’s real. Lol.

  6. I’m pretty sure you’ll see me on the news some time soon “lady with road rage runs over hundreds jut to get to her cupcake”

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