Every morning as I get onto Interstate 10 to make my 40 minute commute to the other side of town I must deal with horrific traffic.
It’s always bumper to bumper. And for some reason, there are always areas that are the worse. Everyone seems to go to extremely slow in certain parts. And then there is always some accident, some fender bender, that slows up the whole process.
You know the purpose of traffic??
The government invented it to thin out the herd.
Its true… I blame everything on the government. However, until the government starts releasing information on whether aliens are real or not, George Bush Jr’s IQ scores, or what really is behind the Declaration of Independence, they will always be a suspect!!
So back to what I was saying… Oh yea… traffic and how it’s all part of the government’s plan to control population.
The USA can’t just come out and go all China on us. Who wants to be like China?? Not us!!
So instead of commanding how many babies you can have, they think of ingenious ways that we can or will off ourselves.
What is more life threatening than traffic?!?!
Death does a three-way with traffic.
Yes there is sex in everything!!
First, traffic gets so crazy it affects us physically. Thus we create accidents. Traffic will enrage us because a) a slow dumbass is in the fast lane b)18 wheelers are part of traffic c)someone is always running late.
And due to traffic, we will make mistakes. And those mistakes will cost us… dearly. And then we will be dealing with the traffic into getting heaven. But that’s all whole different conspiracy!
We will change lanes too suddenly without warning or the classic move where we are riding someone’s ass and BAM! we smashed into them.
It’s all part of the plan.
You die and that is one less person the government has to worry about. The population gets thinner every morning.
The other way traffic is psychologically.
Its gets into our mind man. Traffic will infuriate us making us become natural-born killers. We start to think evilly.
Case in point: Yesterday morning as I was approaching the exit to get on the interstate, I saw the massive traffic jam. And then I thought, if there are so many accidents every morning, why is there still traffic?
I, and I am ashamed to admit it, was thinking if half of these people were gone, there would be no traffic! Getting to work would be a walk in the park!!
Traffic got into my mind… and my soul!!
God damn traffic.
I wished everyone dead.
Just so I could to work.
Work can wait.
Its time we take back America folks!
We need to smash this greed and evil that lurks on the corners of highways!
I plan to plant sunflowers in every part of the freeway!!
Maybe we can join hands in the morning and sing songs by The Byrds and Jefferson Airplane!
Ok Ok, you got me. I am trying to bring back the 60’s.
However, we can all agree that traffic is still the devil.