In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

That’s Not Your Baby Kanye

Dearest Kanye,

It’s come to light that you were missing at the Grammy’s yesterday… which is odd because you had a whole entire field with seven nominations—and you actually won four, including Best Rap Performance.

First off, let me just say that you are very talented. I like almost every song you have made.

But you were missing…. at a place where they give awards…and  four of them where for you!!!

I’m confused….

For someone who is sooooooo (what’s a nice word for it) arrogant, conceited, full of them self, thinks his shit don’t stink.. you sure missed your chance to promote yourself… without looking like a douche bag!!

We would have allowed it!! There would have been less eye rolling then usual!

However, you didn’t show!!

There where plenty of young girls you could have stolen the mic from.

Hmm, what could it be?? Where you protesting that your album wasn’t considered a nominee for Album of the Year?? Or is it because you don’t like talking when its actually your turn to talk?

Well, I think I figured it out.  I think I have solved this.

Does everyone remember the fateful day…. September 13,2009? We all gathered around our TV’s to watch the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards. Taylor Swift had just been awarded best female video. As she was giving her speech…. this happens!!

Kanye: Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you , I’m going to let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time…one of the best of all time!

What? Beyonce?!? Why are you endorsing her?

Who are you always around??


Who have you  collaborated in music with??


Who does he wish he was???



Because he is in love with Beyonce!!!

While else would he get up on stage, take away a mic from the a 19 year old girl, and embarrass himself by profess his admiration for another beloved artist??

He is love!! That’s the only excuse!! Love!!

So why was he missing from the Grammy’s?? Because Beyonce just had a baby. And he had to be there with her. Helping out…. wishing that Beyonce had mated with him … and pretending that Blue Ivy was his daughter!!

Sigh, poor Kanye West. He can only dream.

However, until then, he will be behind the scenes sneaking cuddles with the baby, catching glimpses of Beyonce breastfeeding.

Don’t be surprised if he gets all The Hand That Rocks the Cradle crazy!

Kanye, that’s not your baby!!



Comments on: "That’s Not Your Baby Kanye" (6)

  1. OMG! You are right! GASP

  2. he is a douchebag.

    Taylor Swift had a standing ovation. Everyone could see she was so surprised.

    Good for her. I hated that she was insulted in public and on national television by kanya West. He was despicable then. Not that Taylor swift is my fav. Coz she isn’t. But she was bullied and shamed.

  3. Didn’t even notice he wasn’t there. Chris Brown took his place as “douche bag of the night”.

  4. Yeah, I agree with your investigative powers, he is sooo in love with Beyonce! And, if the normal douchebag, like Kayne, is MIA there will always be another douchebag to step up to the plate and take their responsibilities of douchiness.

  5. That was just too damn funny. Lmfao!!!!!

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