In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Quick thought: I was thinking this on the way to work. The only way I would not make it to work if I was on my way to work is if I got arrested or got in a car accident.  If any one of those happened, I would definitely try to call in. Maybe they would send me flowers in prison?

Over the weekend, I was hanging with my sister-in-law and she was mentioning the relationship her sister and her sister’s boyfriend have. Her sister has been out there in the dating scene and for the most part was getting tired of it. She finally met someone, a co-worker of my sister-in-law.

They have been together for some time, several months now. However, the guy is …. stupid.

Not like mentally…. more like he lacks the skills that would eventually lead him to an ass beating if he said the wrong thing.

He “jokes” around with the sister and often times goes a little overboard with the so-called “jokes”. The question is how far can he go claiming that he was only joking, a little friendly jabbing?

He “jokingly” makes remarks that would seem like he is insulting her. He always says things that actually belittle her and cut her down. For instance, she went to play golf with him and some people. On their way home, he said that he was surprise how well she did because she just is not athletic at all. Not like his ex girl-friend who  was so athletic!

Well, they just recently found out she is pregnant. He was excited. They both were. However, he is like always “joking” and said to her that she is so boring now because she is always so tired. She is getting fat. (Gasp!!) He might need to trade her in.

He says he is joking.

Repeatedly??

I don’t think so.

I think in cases like this where the guy is a complete dumb ass…. these type of men should be forced to wear a box with a glass case holding a bat. That way when they are out of line, all the girl has to do is break the glass and beat the ever-living crap outta him!

In fact, all men should wear these. If your glass is never broken, guess what? You win!! You are a keeper!!

This is not a man bashing blog.

I am married to a great guy, I can’t complain.

I have a son that is my world. I am currently teaching him not to drive me crazy!

And actually, guys are cool. I normally get a long way better with guys anyway.

No, this blog today is for the douches!

Douchebags make up  60% of men in the world.  My statistics. I have an elite bunch of researchers for your information.  I feel sorry for you because the average woman will run into these the majority of the time.

I hope once these ladies realize that they have, they break the figurative glass case and beat the fuck outta that relationship.

And because of this big percentage of losers, my theory is even more proven that God most definitely is a guy. And based on my findings, he is a douche.

Number one clue?

Are you on your period right now?

That just sums it all up doesn’t it!! Couldn’t God with his all heavenly and masterful design make some “other” way start the process of being able to have babies?? Why do we have to bleed like a stuck pig?? All guys have to go through is voice change.

That’s it!!

How unfair!!

And what about those cramps!?!? Do you know if men suffered from cramps which I call the introduction to contractions, cramps would be the number one health problem in the world?

And lets not even talk about the fatigue, the bloating, the headaches and emotional toll that we can expect every month?!?

Equality sure doesn’t exist in heaven! I bet the girl angels don’t even get paid as nearly as the guy angels too!

Clue Number 2?

Mental Anxiety.

I remember reading somewhere that forms of mental illness derived from women. Strange!!

Men have been pegging woman that they are crazy!

In fact, that is my no-no word. You can call me anything, but don’t call me crazy.

You want crazy? I will show you crazy!

Being called crazy all the time will sure turn you crazy. It will convince you that you are over reacting, that you are over analyzing stuff. You are just plain crazy!

It becomes a battle within your self!

Oooooo, fuck those kind of men!

And last but not least, Clue number 3.

Menopause.

Frankly, I ain’t there yet but from what I see with my mother. It’s basically like you are pregnant again. Hot flashes, mood swings, skin drying out, depression,  anxiety, irritability, memory problems and lack of concentration, and all other kinds of stuff.

It’s like a big fuckin kick in the pants reminding you that the youthfulness is gone!

And what do these all have common??

MEN!!

You think with all we have to go through there, these 60% of douches would get the hint that women should be treated with respect, love, and devotion.

I know not all women are peaches too but for the most part… if there is a woman by your side and she has been there through thick and thin… you should be placing her on a pedal stool!!

Worship her!!

Now to the above real life experience where the guy called my sister-in-law’s sister fat… well…. I think I am going to go buy a bat today.

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Comments on: "All The Ladies In The Back Say Hey!!" (15)

  1. Tell your sister-in-law if she’s any kind of sister, she’ll tell this douchbag guy to hit the road. Fain his death or something. Tell him to hit the county line. Tell the sister that the Texas mafia is after his dumb ass and he had to leave. She’s better off with out him. Because once this baby is born, we know as moms that the self esteem goes down the tubes on it’s own. She doesn’t need this tool bag making it worse. This guy obviously has emotional issues and self esteem issues of his own.

  2. maryfollowsthelamb said:

    Too bad about your sister-in-law’s sister being stuck on an insecure control freak who doesn’t have a clue about love. His father was probably the same way. And if she stays with him, their child will learn the same.Sad. She’d be better off alone.

    • Agreed!!
      From what I know about him, he doesn’t have a great relationship with his mother. Hence the fact that he is clueless about women!!
      Thanks for reading!

  3. This made me cringe. Ickkkk! The safest thing to say to a pregnant lady is NOTHING. NO. THING. While you’re out getting a bat, pick me up some nunchucks!

  4. All of our problems DO begin with men. I’m no where near menopause but already have all of the above stated symptoms so FUCK EM! ahem. I’m okay. Not really. Men suck.

    She should definitely ditch the douche bag but the sad reality is that even if she does, she’ll probably find another douche bag to replace him.

    I’m not man bashing. I’M NOT I TELL YOU.

  5. Hilarious! And so true!

    And as far as your sister-in-law’s sister goes? I’m going to lay a little Thelma and Louise wisdom on your ass right now: YOU GET WHAT YOU SETTLE FOR.

  6. This made me laugh out loud, I love this and it’s just so true! I’ve known many douches and I don’t appreciate their douche-y comments one bit. They think they are funny but they are just stupid and mean. My father is that guy who makes mean and nasty comments and thinks he’s funny, luckily my fiancee is the complete opposite. I’m always ready to beat a douche up!

  7. Sometimes I think the douchebag percentage may actually be higher than 60%.

  8. […] All The Ladies In The Back Say Hey!! #header {text-align:left } #description { clear:left;float: left; } […]

  9. … [Trackback]…

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