Lately my six-year-old and my four-year old are in love with a certain song. It doesn’t annoy me so much as you would think. In fact when I hear it, my heart goes out to the little girl who sang it because frankly, it sucks ass!
Yes, I am talking about Friday by Rebecca Black.
Seriously, the writer of that song HATED Rebecca Black. It’s probably because he heard her sing!!
Thats enough hating on the little girl who has no vocal talent whatsoever. Let us make fun of some other songs and the singers who need me to mentally fist them!
I seriously don’t get what the big deal is with Bruno Mars. Yes, I will admit it. The guy can sing but whoever writes his song is retarded!! It sounds like he was just lying around just like Rebecca Black’s writer and wrote about everything he was doing!
Have you actually listened to the Lazy Song??
Uh, I’m gonna kick my feet up and stare at the fan
Turn the TV on
Throw my hand in my pants
Nobody’s gon’ tell me I can’t, nah
Wow my son sticks his hands in his pants too!! He can totally write a song!!!
Tomorrow I wake up, do some P90X
With a really nice girl have some really nice sex
And she’s gonna scream out, “this is great” (Oh my god this is great)
I might mess around and get my college degree
I bet my old man will be so proud of me
I’m sorry pops you just have to wait
Are you fucking serious?? How is this even good!?!? Seriously, how is this NOT like the song Friday?!!? In fact, we all know once Rebecca Black finally picks a seat in the car, its in the back. She isn’t sprewing that she is gonna get her freak on!
And note to Bruno, a really nice girl is not gonna have sex with you. She is gonna make you get up off that fat ass and DO some P90X.
No I ain’t gonna comb my hair
Cause I ain’t going anywhere
No no no-no no no-no no nooo
I’ll just strut in my birthday suit
And let everything hang loose
Whoa that is totally unhygienic. Remind me to wash my hands if I ever handle your cds!!
He should have just said he wanked it for a good three minutes!! I would have given him style points!! If he is honesty not gonna do anything all day, you think he is NOT gonna wank it. At least two times!!
Lets make this believable Bruno!!
The whole song was pointless. I could totally write a song like this!! Totally!
Here is mine (and I am just doing this on the whim here):
“Woke up early,
got ready for work,
I hate mornings, my boss is a big jerk.
My hubby took all the damn hot water,
didn’t save me a drop,
now I shivering like a chihuahua
huddling in spaces that are hot.
Almost got pulled over by a cop,
cause I was going 50 on a 35.
If he was going to pull me over, I was ready to remove my top.”
See how freaking easy that was…. pulled it straight outta my ass.
Obviously, its shit but I am not making it into a music video. The point is some of this music is shit! Just shit! And its famous, making money!
How is this possible?!?!?
Seriously someone kick Bruno Mars’s ass. Also, please kick James Blunts’s ass as well. His songs are stupid too.
He enjoys showing us his schizophrenia in his songs.
Take note of his lyrics in “You’re Beautiful”:
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I’m sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won’t lose no sleep on that,
‘Cause I’ve got a plan.
He is crazy and is stalking someone. OK. That’s scary but normal especially in the New York Region.
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.
I thought you just said you had a plan.
Someone fucking alert the police! This guy is gonna mutilate his “Angel”.
So in conclusion, listen to your music. These people are trying to tell you something.
They are trying to tell you how much they suck!!