In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Its true. I don’t have a Facebook.

I used to have one… I would say a couple of years back. The only reason I got one was to play a few online games (Oregon Trail, the company I worked for had cool games, etc). Then it just got chaotic!

What the hell was all that shit on the wall?? How many times can you get poked before you go on a shooting spree!??!?

However, my mother has a Facebook. Why is this a big deal?

She doesn’t know how to log into her own computer and she is Facebook-ing?!?!

I remember that as soon as I got one, immediately people who I went to school with befriended me.  Now if you know me, you know that I RUN from people who I went to school with.

I saw a dude I had a few classes with in middle school at a local grocery store. I hid behind the watermelons. What makes you think I am going to be like OMG how are you?!?! I really could give a fuck about what people are doing now.I mean if you are in mental hospital or in jail, that’s some pretty awesome news. You got fat? Splendid! You been divorced two times? Peachy! All awesome news… but I don’t wanna talk about it.

So that’s one con.

I also don’t like the stupid random shit people put.

Status Update: “I just ate a ham sandwich.”

Awesome! I hope you choke on that shit! Or hopefully that ham was bad you get e coli!

I would something cool like….  I am eating a ham sandwich while I take a massive shit!

Thats honest and crazy!!

Another thing that is annoying is that everyone …EVERYONE… what you post. And you gotta take great care not to embarrass yourself and make you look like an ass!!

Exhibit A:

 Exhibit B:

Exhibit C & D

What you do put on the internet lives on forever people?!

I don’t think I can handle the pressure!!

So in conclusion… I would love to see your babies, I would like to keep up with your every minute daily life of shitting and eating and who you fucked, and I would love to see those drunk pictures, but sadly, I think I am still passing on Facebook.

Sorry Mark.

I hope you actually got laid in college.


Comments on: "To FaceBook Or Not To Facebook" (11)

  1. Brilliant post! (I’m drinking a beer right now and I may just pee in this chair). All the friends I have on Facebook ( douchebags everyone of them, wait they can’t see this post can they?) are my real friends, (meaning I have known them all of a few years basiclly since I signed up on Facebook).

    In all seriousness, what you have posted is exactly why I take time away from FB. Though I am not scared to tell an old pal from “back in the days” to fuck off and no I do not accept their friend request, also I have deleted a lot of people, which doesn’t go over all that well but hey if you friend me and I accept and then never want to communicate,well then it’s kinda pointless right?

    I gave into the FB pressure, I’m gad you have stood tall and not caved! (OMG I totally farted!)

  2. onedumbtart said:

    Facebook is what you make it.

    You don’t have to accept every person that requests friending. Set all your privacy to “Friends Only”. You don’t have to comment on every thing that is posted on people’s walls. You don’t have to be on it everyday.

    I’m like you, I have NO desire to friend ANYONE from my highschool years. The only ones I’m friends with from that era are my 4 closest friends. And no one has even bothered requesting me either. They can go to hell.

    It’s more of a toy to me. It could dry up tomorrow and I wouldn’t miss it.

  3. Facebook got super weird for me when my grandma joined and added me as a friend. I was dying looking at those screen shots of awkward Facebook moments. So funny!

  4. Oh, do I love this! I don’t have a Facebook either, I am not interested in getting one in the least. I also run away from people I knew in grade school and hide if I catch sight of them, why the hell would I want to put myself out on the internet for you to find me? Oh, and my mom has a Facebook too, and stalks everyone. Everyone I work with, she works with, and my brother works with.And, of course, everyone my brother and I have dated. It makes her the stalker extraordinaire with the power of Facebook … that is just scary!

  5. I don’t have a Facebook account, and have no plans of having one, now and in the near future. But, I can’t say never, right> LOL

    Anyways, so many people are actually horrified that I don’t have FB. (^__^)

    I guess I’m weird that way?

  6. I agree. I have Facebook, but I’m hardly ever on it. That ham sandwich update is only relevant if the person is Mama Cass.

  7. I held out a long time before joining… I had to when my friends from college were friending my husband to stay in touch with me.

    All that said there are ALOT of stupid posts out there.

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