I saw a movie over the weekend and a brand new show last night. The movie you probably are gonna wanna slap me because I have never seen it before.
Ok go ahead and slap me.
You are welcome.
Seriously what was the point of this movie?!? Was it about the Mohicans and how there was a total of 2 left?!?!
Or was it really about Nathaniel Poe (Daniel Day-Lewis character) and him getting his bow chicka wow wow on?
Seriously tell me!
It begins with the understanding that this white dude, Nathaniel, was orphaned and the Mohicans found him and raised him as their own.
Now fully grown, he has long hair and hangs with his Mohican tribe.
During this time, the British and French are battling for control of North America in the French and Indian War.
The French have joined forces with some crazy Native tribe in the area. The native tribe attacks troops escorting two women to the father who is the General.
Nathaniel and his adopted brother and dad save the day and the girls. Nathaniel then falls in love with one of the daughters while its clear his Native brother falls for the younger sister.
So it’s this battle with the British and those crazy ass native Indians. And in the end, Nathaniel lives and his brother dies. And now his adopted father is the only Mohican left and his is freakin old.
This movie was hopeless from the start. Though, I appreciated Daniel Day-Lewis running with his long beautiful hair and his nice chest exposed, the movie was just retardly sad. Retardly!!!
This movie was worse than Titanic. I am so angry the fucking brother died! He found a chick and then died!
Worst ending to a god damn movie ever!
This movie should have been called Nathaniel Gets His Chick cause it was not about the Mohicans!!! Ahhhhh, I am so pist!!
I caught the new show on FX last night.
American Horror Story.
Did you guys see it?
I did and I have to say I am very very intrigued!
American Horror Story is a television series starring Connie Britton and Dylan McDermott who might I say is quite quite yummy.
Seriously, he was naked a majority of the movie. And there is nothing wrong with that.
The story focuses on a family who move to a decrepit mansion in Los Angeles. Little do they know, this once-noble home is haunted.
Truth is the story is sexy, disturbing, and pretty scary in some parts. They have a maid who is old but to the husband appears as a sexy French maid trying to seduce him. Then there is the gimp!! Yes a gimp who is super freaky and walks around the house. I think the gimp does it with the wife who thinks its her husband dressed up in the article of clothing that was found in the attic. And of course it wasn’t the father.
The father was in a trance sleeping walking in the house and thinking of burning the house down.
A quick history on the family is the mother suffered a miscarriage that deeply affected her and her husband. Some time after the miscarriage she came home to find her husband plummeting one of his 22-year-old students.
They patched things up and moved to the west coast. He works from home as a psychiatrist and he and his wife are trying to make their marriage work. It’s clear he loves her and she loves him, but the scar of his infidelity is still there.
Once they move into this mansion of a house, they learn that a gay couple killed each other in the basement. They decide to live their any way. They also quickly learn of their weird strange neighbors. Jessica Lange is the strange woman who knows more about the house then she lets on and has a daughter who seems a little evil. The young daughter has down syndrome but the fact that she sees the evil ghosts that lurk in the house is creepy.
The wife takes on the challenge of redecorating the house.
The reviews aren’t that good. I disagree.
This is a horror story. Scary movies are the best when there is no real explanation just horror. Its dark, deep, and seductive. And its wild images give you a feeling the ride is just barely starting. I feel like I have seen something so insane and TV-unfriendly that I couldn’t help but appreciate it for that fact. Dare to be different, you know?
So yes, I loved it!
And come on, nothing is wrong with seeing Dylan McDermott’s bare ass!
Now I just gotta work on not thinking I see a gimp walking around in my house. Seriously, that shit was scary.