Yesterday made me so sick.
It’s not good to hold in all that emotion. That is what I did. That’s what we all did.
I scanned the millions of military men and women faces. Somber and sad. You see wives and children. Wives are crying. Mothers are crying. Children were playing. They didn’t really understand the full weight of their parent’s responsibility.
It really has to be one of the saddest thing I have ever seen. It’s just overwhelming sadness. It filled the huge gym room we were all in.
And just listening to the people around you talking, “Remember when” or ” One of these days”. I listen to my sister-in-law talk about funny things her and husband would do as she and he would wait for him to go overseas in the past.
She told me that she sneaked letters in each bag that he would use. One that he would get in on the plane. Another that he won’t get til he reaches his destination. And another til he is actually on the base on site.
She doesn’t say of course what the letters say. I can imagine what I would write to Gus. That I love him. And to please, please come back to me.
She told me that he never takes his wedding ring when he goes over seas. He leaves it with her every time in case any thing was to happen to him. When he comes home, she said the first thing he asks for it his ring.
I realized that there are things I will never ever understand about their marriage or any of these soldiers’ marriages. The depth, the secrets, the weight. I will never understand.
He hugged us his sister-in-laws. He hugged his brothers and dad. He a hugged his wife and held onto her as long as he could.
We said goodbye to him right before he loaded onto the bus for the plane.
We left his wife there. It was clear she wasn’t going to leave until she saw the absolute last of him.
As we were driving away, I saw her from far away walking to her car. It was just sad to see her walking alone. Because truthfully, she was.
Gus, my husband, was leaving yesterday out-of-town for a week.
When I got home from picking up our kids, I saw he left me a note. He was going to miss me even if it was for a week. He loved me.
I called him right away. Because I could. And he would answer.
Late at night, I got into bed with my kids. My youngest one is sick. I hugged them all so close. I was in a room with my babies. And my husband was going to be home in four days. I could easily predict the week. And if I wanted to the month.
Last night, hundreds of women went to sleep by themselves, alone with their thoughts, wondering just how they are going to get along tomorrow. And for the rest of the 12 months.