Ode to the Woman I Should Have T-Boned

 

Dear Woman that Nearly Killed Me;

First off, thanks for making sure I would be awake next week on Friday. Your dumb ass maneuver almost cost me and definitely you!

What makes you think you can turn left from the middle lane? Seriously! What makes you think you can do this when people are coming off the freeway ramp right at your direction?!?

Let me give a crappy illustration so people can see the dumbass that you are!!

According to my illustration a car and I were both coming off the free way on the ramp. You were on the far left right and realized too late that you had missed your exit and where trying to turn on the turn around where another car was already stopped due to the light. You turned into the middle lane (MY FUCKIN LANE) and sat there horizontally… waiting!!

Are you fucking nuts???

You missed your exit now you gotta turn around up ahead… not stop oncoming traffic!!

I saw your face… either you didn’t give a crap or you know what the hell was going on.  You must be a retard!!

I should have t-boned you. I mean sure my front end would have smashed up but for sure you would have been cut in half. But noooo I had to swerve the hell out-of-the-way just to avoid hitting you. I could have gotten hurt!!

Man … I should have hit you. You seriously didn’t have a care in the world! And you were the one doing something illegal. I even hurt my hand punching the horn!!

I never use the horn!! But at the moment I wished my horn had said,” Fuck you stupid lady!!”

Horns don’t really translate what we need them to say sometimes.

I would have hit you if I was rich. Cause getting another car would have been fine and easy. Thank your lucky stars I am poor!!

You give women drivers a bad name!! So of course, I hate people like you!! Man, I should have T-boned your ass!!! God, I kick myself!!

That concludes this letter.

I just wanted you to know my feelings you stupid traffic slut. Try not to kill anyone you retard!