In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.


Dear Woman that Nearly Killed Me;

First off, thanks for making sure I would be awake next week on Friday. Your dumb ass maneuver almost cost me and definitely you!

What makes you think you can turn left from the middle lane? Seriously! What makes you think you can do this when people are coming off the freeway ramp right at your direction?!?

Let me give a crappy illustration so people can see the dumbass that you are!!

According to my illustration a car and I were both coming off the free way on the ramp. You were on the far left right and realized too late that you had missed your exit and where trying to turn on the turn around where another car was already stopped due to the light. You turned into the middle lane (MY FUCKIN LANE) and sat there horizontally… waiting!!

Are you fucking nuts???

You missed your exit now you gotta turn around up ahead… not stop oncoming traffic!!

I saw your face… either you didn’t give a crap or you know what the hell was going on.  You must be a retard!!

I should have t-boned you. I mean sure my front end would have smashed up but for sure you would have been cut in half. But noooo I had to swerve the hell out-of-the-way just to avoid hitting you. I could have gotten hurt!!

Man … I should have hit you. You seriously didn’t have a care in the world! And you were the one doing something illegal. I even hurt my hand punching the horn!!

I never use the horn!! But at the moment I wished my horn had said,” Fuck you stupid lady!!”

Horns don’t really translate what we need them to say sometimes.

I would have hit you if I was rich. Cause getting another car would have been fine and easy. Thank your lucky stars I am poor!!

You give women drivers a bad name!! So of course, I hate people like you!! Man, I should have T-boned your ass!!! God, I kick myself!!

That concludes this letter.

I just wanted you to know my feelings you stupid traffic slut. Try not to kill anyone you retard!




Comments on: "Ode to the Woman I Should Have T-Boned" (13)

  1. These are times when I wish I could get out of the car and beat these people senseless. Like cunt punt them into the next century. I bet she was on her cell phone.

  2. Don’t you just love that shit? I have had way too many encounters with incompetent driving dumb asses and most of them were when I drove an ambulance. Just get the fuck outta my way people. Is it really that hard?

  3. I’m glad she didn’t cause you physical harm. I get upset when folks do stupid stuff like that too.

  4. We once had a pair of morons cut across THREE lanes of traffic on icy roads, narrowly miss our bumpers in the process of cutting across in front of us (not to mention the drivers in the other lanes), to try to make the exit they were *suddenly* desperate to get to BUT in too much of a hurry to move over safely. (Hint, had they slowed the F down, they would have moved over BEHIND us and not risked our lives, or the lives of the people in the other 2 cars they cut off. They might ALSO not have ended up on the edge of the shoulder of the ramp and flipping their car on ice. True story.)

  5. I love your illustration, and don’t you just love dumbass drivers? I never use the horn either, but when I do, it seems like still no one listens to me! Or, they listen to me, and then flip me off, when it’s their stupid move and not mine!

  6. I LOVe that you have the same justified road rage I do! My poor kids have a whole other set of vocab words after riding with me. I especially liked the use of the term “traffic slut”. I am using this.

  7. I hate crazy drivers. Especially when someone does something stupid because they missed their turn/exit. Just go up to the next one and turn around and save everyone else the heart attack!

  8. Bastards! People can’t flippin drive and this is why I want lasers in my eyeballs so I can shoot them at dummydicks when I drive!
    I am glad you are ok!!!

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