In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

First off, as soon as my husband goes back to actual work I will start the Thursday Movie Review. Til then its a battle of remote control power.

  I really don’t have anything to write about today.

The only that seems remotely interesting is that my boss called me really early in the morning telling me I had to get a drug test today.

Yep me! I have been randomly selected.  I am highly suspicious. What do they hope to find?

That when I get home I am raging coke addict? That I have the need for speed? That I am warping through time with acid trips? That I channel Alice in Wonderland with my shrooms?

Usually the random drug testing is for the guys in the field because they are around children and schools. I am around old people. Christian, stick up their ass, republicans! All day long. I have no issues with Christians or old people, and republicans knows where all the best hookers are! Just when they are a combination of all three…. it starts to get annoying.  So if they do see  some alcohol in my blood stream they can’t blame me!!

I know I am gonna pass the drug test… with fucking flying colors!!!  I don’t do drugs. Mostly because I don’t know where to score any but also because I just don’t drugs. Wow I suddenly got depressed. I need to make some hippie friends.

And I totally suck at peeing in a cup. First off I have to always force myself to pee! And my aim is for shit. This is when being a dude would be awesome. Dudes have their built in faucets. Us women we got a fucking sprinkler system. You turn that shit on and its getting the lawn wet for sure!!!

Peeing in a cup deserves a medal.

Congrats you  successfully peed in the cup and not the seat or the floor!! Here is a bronze medal of urination!!

Honestly these bosses of mine are  gonna have to let me go some other way.

So far this two and half months I have been late everyday.

I spend a lot of time on Twitter. But I still manage to get shit done and then some.

However if they did fire me, I could sleep in!!! Every fucking day! And I could like totally Tweet and blog all day. And I could lay in bed all day. And I could, and I could, and I could …. really its endless!!!

But I gotta work. Damnit, and I don’t wanna say never but these people could never fire me.

I am their bread and butter. They need me. I am the only person who has been here long enough to put up with their crap!!


Damnit…. I may need to sabotage. It’s just I am soooooooo lazy.




Comments on: "Interesting….. I Have A Chance to Get Fired!!" (14)

  1. Yep that sums it for me too I wouldnt know where to score drugs if I tried 🙂

  2. And they think they’ve got something on you now!! Morons.

    You’re the mother of three for crying out loud! And a damn good one!

    Would love to see their disappointed reactions when it comes back “NEG”.

  3. Wait. Does sniffing glue count? Never mind. Forget I asked 🙂

  4. The only thing worse that peeing in the cup as a woman, is attempting to pee in a cup when you’re 5-9 months pregnant and can’t even see what the hell you’re doing. The last two months (if you carry the child up front) I could barely get the cup there because my arms lacked the length to span the enormous belly.

    It was messy.

    And so gross.

    Good luck aiming!

  5. I think it should be an Olympic event or some shit. Not getting fired you silly goose, pissing in a cup. What are the chances that CBS would cover it?

  6. I had to pee in a cup yesterday at the doctors and I failed by the way 😦
    I peed on my jeans a little

  7. I can never pee on demand! And why are the cups so freaking small?!?!?!?!?

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