In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

This morning was certainly…. interesting. I got my heart racing past its normal thud thud. I feel like I was running a marathon. I write now trying to calm my heart down with Goldfish crackers.

First off, I am 4 days in being 27 years of age and so far so good. I haven’t had any near death experiences nor have I bumped my head on anything hard or have my self a paper cut.  I am on a roll.

I was thinking this very thought as I walked in this morning…

I came into the office sat at my desk. I try to fly under the radar since I always manage to be late somehow! A tech in the field walks in …. I get an uneasy feeling.

Why is he here? Isn’t he suppose to be in the field? Why is he waiting for the boss…. ohhhhhhhh.

My heart started pumping. This guy would be on my list of potential guys who go postal!!!

Sure enough, after being in the office for a while, we all started hearing shouting. That guy was shouting.  It continued outside the office and we are heard everything.  Yelling, cursing, and I was starting to freak out.

I am texting Gus that I am gonna die. He is telling me to shut up that I am not going to die. And then I texted back that he needs to patch up the hole on the wall. And he wrote back saying why was that important if I was going to die.  I wrote back that somewhere on the eulogy it needs to say that I was go-getter, a do-er.  He wrote back and said no one would believe that.

Jerk!! On the day that I might die too!!

In the meantime, the guy who got canned stormed outside saying we were all assholes. What?!? I didn’t fire him!! Great!!! Now we are all grouped in together! So when he comes in with his gun he is gonna kill us all.

I watched him outside. It was all kinda dramatic. Granted the guy lost his job but please take your self elsewhere. He is pacing back and forth and making me very nervous.  God damnit…. drive away. He was angry and anxious and I started thinking, “Shit this would be an awesome time to believe in God.”

Luckily… after much pacing and flipping off the building and yelling outside he left. God… I hope he does not come back. Cause that would be shitty.

Seriously I was freaked out…. and now that I am calmed down… I am getting post traumatic distress and a sore tense feeling in my shoulders.  Is this all worthy of some medical leave?

Why the hell don’t they think of doing this kinda shit when the employees are here?!?!! Fuck I don’t wanna die…. here… on my desk. Fucking retarded!

And now I am questioning my cat-like stealth skills. Would I survive an attack? He busts in the door I yell  ??????

“Oh shit?”

Hopefully people get the message. I’ll drop to the floor and combat roll to the warehouse door and out the back. Or freeze in my sit and more than likely take the shit I have been waiting to take since last Tuesday.

Hey! My digestive problems are not on trial here.

I need to work on my rolling.

Note to self: Practice combat rolling using kids as obstacles.

Well its only 10:05am and I have had enough excitement for the week! While I jump at every sound made here and try not to have a nervous breakdown, please take comfort in this:

I am alive… for now.

 

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Comments on: "Helllllllllllooooo Monday….It’s Way to Early for Post Traumatic Distress" (18)

  1. Whoa, crazy shit! I don’t work and never have, in an office big enough for that stuff to go down. And practice those skills!!

  2. Working on rolling is so underestimated 🙂

  3. No worries! You’d survive! You’re a do-er, a go-getter AND you have cat-like stealth skills. Hey, while you’re hiding under your desk take some pictures. Then you’ll be news worthy too 🙂

  4. Don’t forget to grab a snack or keep a stash under your desk you never know how long the hostage negotiations last.

  5. Just think…you get to this tomorrow!

  6. Kids make the best obstacles when practicing stealth skills. I do it all the time.

  7. That is some crazy shit! I’m so sorry you had to go through that, I’d be hiding underneath my desk because they guy sounds like he is nutty. I know that tense feeling in the shoulders, you need to get a massage and get the hell away from that stressful shit!

  8. Shew! I’m glad you haven’t kicked the bucket since turning 27 yet! The world would never be the same!!! 😛

    That story about the dude is CRAZY! That’s some scary shiznit right there yo!!

  9. I hope you’re still alive today. Maybe practice some duck and cover drills?

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