I am somewhat disappointed when I took a look at my searches that people google or bing to get to my blog.
You people are lame. Where is the scandalous stuff?!?! Huh? Did you guys find another blog? Do I need to talk about more ass and boobs? Is that not enough fornication and lust written here?! Tell me what! What??
1. Fatty on a Bike: Are you kidding me? Obviously for all kinds of reason this should be illegal (i.e. you are distracting, I could crash looking at you, you are hanging out on both sides, your poor bike, etc), but this isn’t something to search!
Unless of course you like this kind of thing… or you wish to ban it for the sake of motorcycles everywhere.
Sigh. Do what you must.
2. Exhausted: Sure all the time. I am even exhausted waking up. How the fuck I remember to put on shoes and to shave is beyond me. This morning I walked into the bathroom three times before I remembered I need to shower.
Definition of exhausted: me!
I am so tired I just agree with everyone but I don’t remember who that everyone is!
3. Is Snorting Coffee Bad For You: Damn why am I giving up medical advice and not getting paid for it?! Damn government!
Ok, for you retards who wonder… the answer is NO but if you do this for a long period of time… you might become mental. I snort coffee every once in a while. Especially when I am low in cash and an espresso shot is beyond my means. You know those days you gotta pick between fancy pearl tampons that look so pretty but cost arm and leg or the bulky plastic uncomfortable tampons that have no color or personality that only cost a toe. Sigh…. those decisions.
Where was I?
Oh yea…. snorting. Do it every so often… especially if you are without a cup or a coffee maker.
4. Red Carpet Affairs: I don’t understand this search. Are you looking for red carpet events? Why didn’t you just say that?
I hear affairs and I channel back to my days of sitting in front of the tube with ole Grandma watching her novellas and One Life to Live.
Marty was gang raped?!?!?! Not on the red carpet!!!
Please be specific.
5. Givong the Fibger: Uhhhhhhhh
6. Giving the Finger: Well glad we got it right on the second time…
I have done that a few times on my blog… but this is not spicy enough obviously.
Next blog we are talking about anal plugs and how they disgust me!
7. Do You Remember Me: Yes! Wait… no…
I am so exhausted.
What kind of weirdo searches for that?
In conclusion, I need to up the ante. Maybe talk about porn more, or sex. Or maybe the crazy shit I have been watching.
Oh maybe its a Monday and people just aren’t in the mood.
I totally understand that… I suggest snorting coffee. Gets in the blood faster!