In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Stupid Google Searches

I am somewhat disappointed when I took a look at my  searches that people google or bing to get to my blog.

You people are lame. Where is the scandalous stuff?!?! Huh? Did you guys find another blog? Do I need to talk about more ass and boobs? Is that not enough fornication and lust written here?! Tell me what! What??

1. Fatty on a Bike: Are you kidding me? Obviously for all kinds of reason this should be illegal (i.e. you are distracting, I could crash looking at you, you are hanging out on both sides, your poor bike, etc), but this isn’t something to search!

Unless of course you like this kind of thing… or you wish to ban it for the sake of motorcycles everywhere.

Sigh. Do what you must.

2. Exhausted: Sure all the time. I am even exhausted waking up. How the fuck I remember to put on shoes and to shave is beyond me.  This morning  I walked into the bathroom three times before I remembered I need to shower.

Definition of exhausted: me!

I am so tired I just agree with everyone but I don’t remember who that everyone is!

3. Is Snorting Coffee Bad For You:   Damn why am I giving up medical advice and not getting paid for it?! Damn government!

Ok, for you retards who wonder… the answer is NO but if you do this for a long period of time… you might become mental.  I snort coffee every once in a while. Especially when I am low in cash and an espresso shot is beyond my means.   You know those days you gotta pick between fancy pearl tampons that look so pretty but cost arm and leg or the bulky plastic uncomfortable tampons that have no color or personality that only cost a toe. Sigh…. those decisions.

Where was I?

Oh yea…. snorting.  Do it every so often… especially if you are without a cup or a coffee maker.

4. Red Carpet Affairs:  I don’t understand this search. Are you looking for red carpet events? Why didn’t you just say that?

I hear affairs and I channel back to my days of sitting in front of the tube with ole Grandma watching her novellas and One Life to Live.

Marty was gang raped?!?!?! Not on the red carpet!!!

Please be specific.

5. Givong the Fibger:  Uhhhhhhhh

6. Giving the Finger: Well glad we got it right on the second time…

dumbass!

I have done that a few times on my blog… but this is not spicy enough obviously.

Next blog we are talking about anal plugs and how they disgust me!

7. Do You Remember Me:  Yes! Wait… no…

I am so exhausted.

What kind of weirdo searches for that?

In conclusion, I need to up the ante. Maybe talk about porn more, or sex. Or maybe the crazy shit I have been watching.

Oh maybe its a Monday and people just aren’t in the mood.

I totally understand that… I suggest snorting coffee. Gets in the blood faster!

Advertisements

Comments on: "Stupid Google Searches" (19)

  1. firecracker3 said:

    Those are very tame search terms! Mine are a little more outgoing, top one being “ball-gags”, yeah, go me! I also rank high for “naked girls” again, wow, making my parents proud!

  2. firecracker3 said:

    hahaha famous last words: “It was artistic expression damnit, you can’t hold that against me!”

  3. LAMO! OMG, this was hilarious! I love, too, going into the bathroom and trying to remember why I went in there in the morning. I think they call it “destinesia”-walking into a room and forgetting why you went in there in the first place.
    Damn, I don’t get cool searches. I get stupid ones. Maybe I need to up the ante then.

  4. OMG, That should be “LMAO” not “LAMO” HAHAHAHAHAHA, duh!

  5. People have searched some crazy ass shit to find me too. “Do you remember me?” I agree…WTF? Who the hell searches that? I think it would be great to know where these searches originated from.

  6. I also need to talk about more sex so I can have people search for that. And, possibly, post nude pictures… of someone else. Not me, they might go blind.

  7. if i posed nude for your blog the people that snort coffee wouldn’t need to…or at least they’d be too busy hurling to care….

  8. Chuckles! Mine so far this week is bikini babes, sea monster, and what does bloody mary look like…

  9. […] once in a while I come across a post on someone else’s blog, like Marina’s, where they reveal the search terms that have led people to their personal space. I’ve done […]

  10. I have to jump on the ” how did you find me” search wagon.

  11. I love the is snorting coffee bad for you. hahaha! I have gotten some interesting ones too and also a few very disturbing searches that made me thing W.T.F!

  12. Last night I watched an old episode of 1000 Ways to Die. I’d never seen it before. These guys snorted fire ants. Then they died. Obviously…based on the show name.

    I wonder if I’ll die from snorting coffee?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: