In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

This is not promotion that my birthday is coming up.

No not at all.

(September 8)


That would be shameless  promotion.

The point is that I am turning 27!! 

Forget the fact that I am three years away from 30!

The big deal is that I could die!!!


And by default I am automatically enrolled in the 27 club!

What is the 27 club, you ask?

The 27 Club, also occasionally known as the Forever 27 Club, Club 27 or the Curse of 27, is the title for an epitomic group of influential musicians who all died at the age of 27. They are generally considered to have led a “rock and roll” lifestyle.

I will forcibly be enrolled into the club. And now I will die… sometime in my 27th year!!

And I don’t wanna hear your whining! “Marina isn’t a influential rocker!” or “Hello Marina! This is for musicians only!”

I sing just as much as Amy Winehouse! Sure my shit aint’ recorded… yet… but I sing! Hear me the damn car! In the shower!  I am like a triple threat. I got moves, the voice and blonde hair now! Why wouldn’t the curse befall on my head?!? How could it not?!?!

The simple fact is I am going to die. Probably for overdosing. The only problem is I am not a chronic user of anything. This is the part where I request a prescription to pain medicine or some heavy muscle relaxers.


Or I can take up alcohol. Which I already decided to do so because I heard it keeps you young. I want my pores to scream out… “Hey you there! Look the fuck at me! Look! Fuck me!!”

Amy Winehouse.  Janis Joplin. Jimi Hendrix.  Kurt Cobain. Jim Morrison. Robert Johnson. Brian Jones. This list goes on and on. All these people died at 27 years old!!

WTF! Doesn’t that alarms to any of you?! It should! Why? Because I am going to be 27!!

The theory is that the planet Saturn is the reason. It wants only 27-year-old people in their planet. Something about hot and multi-talented people only. A-list. I am just gonna stop right there so i don’t  overwhelm you with my self-confidence. Because I ooozzzzzeee self confidence.

Or… and this totally more probable … Something called ‘Saturn’s Return’ first appears in our zodiac charts between the ages of 27 and 30.  Saturn is thought to rule sorrow and regret, representing suffering and the ‘door to infinite wisdom.’ A well placed Saturn in your chart can bring huge success, but for those who aren’t ready for it can bring a time of severe suffering.

And guess what…Saturn is known as the Grim Reaper. Mother of God!!

I am not ready for success. Yesterday I drew lipstick all over my face… for the hell of it. I tried tucking my pretend penis between my legs! I already have been beating people with umbrellas.

I can’t bring myself to shave my head but I shaved my vajay jay. Yep all of it!

Do you hear the crazy laughter? It’s coming from me!!!

And the only way to deal is to drink! Pop pills. Snort something!

Oh god I just snorted pencil shavings!

I am now totally fucked up. Ohhhh go!! Why why!!

It’s cause I fucking got these highlights right?

Now I look like a White Person but with a Mexican tan!  I almost miss the questions if I do windows!





Comments on: "My 27 year Old Melt Down- Saturn Noooooo!!" (15)

  1. TheIdiotSpeaketh said:

    “I’m a White Person with a Mexican tan”….. You need to put that on T-Shirts and sell them! Gold!! Pure Gold!! 🙂

  2. firecracker3 said:

    I think the best line was the “I almost miss the questions if I do windows!” hahaha

  3. bahaha! You are just a young whipper snapper.
    Please don’t take up some crazy addiction like snorting pencil shavings, that’s just weird and I don’t want to lose you to some crazy splinter in the nose death!
    Deep Breath…you’re not going anywhere! DAMNIT! I won’t allow it!

  4. I hate to be the bad news bear but 27 is when you officially become old. It’s true. I bought my first house when I was 27. I became a CPA when I turned 27. I started getting sleepy at 9:30 at 27. And I started drinking only red wine instead of Amaretto Sours at 27. Welcome to the club.

  5. And this post is even more proof of where you are headed.

    On a side note I’m always asked if I can trim the hedges a little more.
    All gardeners here are Mexican

  6. My brother always said he would be done and gone, dead, by 30. Now he’s past 30 and shooting for 40, I think. Throw yourself an awesome bday party, have some drinks, and go crazy! But, not too crazy though, not enough to be like those celebrities you listed. I love that you drew lipstick all over your face for the hell of it, I do that every time I try to put lip gloss on and I end up eating most of it!

  7. Oh girl….. if it makes you feel better (and it won’t) I was first committed at the age of 27. I was diagnosed mentally unstable at the age of 27 and released back into the public (strictly so the government can be entertained and you all’s expense) at the age of 27. Where is the positive it all of this? Fuck if I know…………

  8. […] Don’t believe me … read all about it here. […]

  9. […] Last year around this time I posted this POST. […]

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