In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

This is appropriate because I am blonde now. Sorta…
School started today. Yes, I got slapped in the face with early morning reality!! Mother of God!!
And if there really was a God …with a mother…you think she would be a bit more considerate of the morning madness!
Traffic was a horror today. All that was missing was Zombies! Seriously! Though some of these women looked like death. I don’t judge cause if I didn’t work … I would be a Zombie looking mom too!

 Damn … that’s totally me at 6am except I got frosted highlights yo! I am be pimp!

So as I run out the door I go through the checklist as I am pulling out of the drive way… DID I FORGET ANYTHING?!??!

Kids?

Check?

Bags?

Check… Southwest ain’t got nothing on me on bags.

Did I lock the door?

Here’s hoping…

Did I turn off my flat-iron?

Oh my god.. no wait I did… I think!!!

I just have this feeling… one day I am going to burn down that house. Seriously. I am not shitting you. I feel it. The same way I feel like I am going to drive off the mountain I drive through everyday.

It’s like death is calling me … I am not listening but I just have a feeling!!

So when I finally pull into my daughters school, I find a parking spot on the street. We get off the car and I walk her in carrying two bags and her back pack with everything in it! Whew.

I take her to her classroom. I know she is uneasy. I am nervous for her but she knows how school is. She needs to man up in a child way.

I give her a big hug and kiss and tell  her I will pick her up after school.

I miss her now. I miss all my babies but I worry about the older one. She doesn’t have fierceness as her younger sister.

In time… in time.

So I walk back to my car and an idiot has parked so close to me from behind the car was practically humping my Tahoe. That’s impossible though!

A Honda can not satisfy a Tahoe.

Luckily I know how to park and given myself enough space from the car in front of me.

Retard.

So that was my morning.

I am ready for a nap. Alas its only 10:31 am.

In other news, I am thinking of moving to Canada. Cannabis is legal… I’ll have a cool accent… and Polar Bears are everywhere. I was warned it was way too expensive  but I will be too stoned to care.

 

 

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Comments on: "The Madness!!! -Zombie Moms, Retard Parkers, and Too Stoned to Care" (14)

  1. I’ll move up there with you.

  2. There’s no polar bears in Canada! Are you sure you’re not smoking that shit now?

    Then you can say “Huoose” instead of “House”.

    • I sooo want the accent!!

      Wait are you telling me I was lied too?? Cause my friend said she has been distinctively attacked by two polar bears in her life.
      Have i been bamboozled???

  3. andreataylorish said:

    I didn’t say I’ve been attached twice in my LIFE, I said I was attached twice last YEAR. It was brutal. I had to fend those bastards off with a giant icicle.

  4. Hahaha! Sadly cannabis isn’t legal – just delegalized and polar bears are really far up North. It’s bloody cold where they roam 😉

    I hope your daughter had a great first day back to school!

  5. Oh, my, god, I love that you wrote that the guy parked so close to your car that it was pratically humping it! I’ve had people park so close before that I can’t even squeeze through to get in my car. I hope your girl had a good day for her first day at school! Especially since she was feeling uneasy, I always felt uneasy coming back to school too.

  6. Damn they start early! We start next Monday which is early too but august 1st! Holy cow!
    Sounds like a helluva morning!
    I’m constantly worrying if I left something on (like my flat iron the majority if the time). I should be full of grey hair. Well I probably am so thank god I color that shit!
    Who needs Canada??? I’ll roll one for us, we will smoke it, throw some stuffed polar bears on the floor and talk with an accent! Homemade Canada. Done.

    • Awww all I understood was you will miss me if I am go. You can’t live with out me! You are nothing with out me.
      I heard you loud and clear!

  7. TheIdiotSpeaketh said:

    An Idiot humping your Tahoe is not a good way to start the day….. ha ha….. and get in line sister! I’m moving to Canada first! Outta my way!

  8. I’d be down for anywhere with polar bears…as long as I can get a pet polar bear.

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