I wasted 101 minutes of my life that I will never get back! Never!! I feel depressed, and angry!
So I have a list of banned movies and I picked this movie because and I quote, “The film was considered controversial not only for its depiction of violence, but also for the gratuitous nudity and Caligula’s sexual passion for his sister.”
I saw Caligula.
It’s a 1979 movie with the major actors and actress Peter O’Toole, Malcolm McDonald, and Helen Mirren.
First off let me tell you, Helen Mirren now is one smokin woman! This is her when she is young! And of course you see her naked. She is 13!! I said it!!
So after the first 30 minutes, I had no idea what was going because EVERYONE IN THE DAMN MOVIE WAS NAKED!
It’s hard to concentrate when everyone is running around with their asses hanging out, their boobies swinging low, and well other tidbits.
So its starts off with a young man and young woman kissing and fondling each other.We later learn they are brother and sister.
They have short toga like clothes on. All the girls’ boobs are hanging out and you can see her vajayjay and ass. So really, Hollywood, what was the point of the clothes?
I saw everything! I see what you are doing. You are assuming I am a perv. Well just this once you are correct but, BUT that was just cheesy.
So the point of the story is the correct emperor of Rome, Tiberius is dying. So he has emersed himself in nothing but naked woman all the time. His sanity isn’t quite there. The young man first pictured is Tiberius’ adopted grandson. Tiberius openly tells him he is not loved and he knows he wants to kill him. Caligula (what kind of fucked up name?) denies it swearing his allegiance.
Tiberius even tries to poison him to avoid Caligula taking over the throne. Denied.
But Caligula does finally have Tiberius killed.
I had to google all that because I was distracted by the naked bodies and all the freaks.
It was like the 60’s mixed with Carnie freaks. So disturbing but you can’t look away. Seriously, it felt like everyone was having a giant orgy without the actual sex. And oh the set looked like a high school construction of Rome. Clearly Hollywood was on a budget!
So Caligula is all over his sister. Despite the fact that she messes around with her brother, she knows how to somewhat run an empire. She told her brother who he should get rid that are potential enemies. She even tells him to marry a priestess so he can have an heir.
That’s where Helen Mirren comes in. Her naked was the only highlight of this movie.
You know another note… Caligula may be the “man” is this movie but he came across to me as gay. I wouldn’t be surprised. Half the men were fruity to me.
Well Caligula’s sister falls ill and eventually dying. So he goes crazy. Violent crazy.
He gives his horse political office and humiliates and executes anyone who even slightly displeases him. He organises elaborate orgies and embarks on a fruitless invasion of England before meeting an appropriate end. There are various versions of the film, ranging from the heavily truncated 90-minute version to the legendary 160-minute hardcore version which leaves nothing to the imagination (though the hardcore scenes were inserted later and do not involve the main cast members). I obviously saw the regular one. Maybe if I saw the hardcore one, I would have been more entertained.
Eventually people kill Caligula. Good riddance!
What was fucked up was they kill Helen too.
Moral of the Story: If you going to be naked … don’t act like your hiding it but wearing a small sheet.
2nd Moral= Don’t see this movie!!
And now I miss the 60’s.
But never Carnies.