I had a funny conversation the other day with my good friend Velvet Bunny. And yes that is her stripper name.
Any how… it went from a regular old conversation to something weird. In other words… friends please don’t let you friends text!
Me: Dude traffic sucks.
VB: Ha ha that was an unexpected text.
Me: Well I was thinking about you.
VB: Do you dream about me too?
Me: Yes. The latest one was of you and the smurffs. You guys had a potluck.
VB: Ha Ha did you read my email today?
Me: Yes though I was not able to comment back cause I got a virus on my computer at work… but dude!!! That was freaking interesting. Where did you find that?
VB: I heard about it on a podcast I listen too. So when I got home first thing I did was look for it.
Me: At least I know how to keep it tidy if I ever became a dude.
VB: Or if we want to visually make it look bigger
Me: I think if I ever became a dude… its gonna be small no matter what I do.
Me: But its the motion of the ocean that counts
VB: Thats why strap ons were invented
Me: Really is that why?
VB: It could be a good reason I think
Me: I hope my penis is fat. Thats all I ask.
Me: I may have to look into the strap on business
VB: Ha ha. Ok you do that.
Me: I will… I might come back as a man after I die. Groan that would be the worst…. do you think I’ll still like dudes??
VB: I don’t think you’ll like guys anymore. I was told that I was a man in my past life by a palm reader :p
Me: Are you serious?? So do like girls or dudes? Thats an important question I think…
VB: In this life I like men. In my past life she said I was a rich asshole who had lots of women
Me: I wanna be the old you!!
Me: I mean you are fine now but lets be honest… if I come back as a guy I wanna have woman for all the wrong reasons
VB: Yeah I want to be my old self also. But I’m suppose to learn what being a female is like in this life so I can better myself spiritually
Me: If you ever return as your old life… don’t apply what you learned as a woman. No one likes a pussy!
VB: Ha ha ha yeah I know but I have to learn something about being a woman in this life and who knows what I’ll be in the next. Hopefully no sex just rich.
Me: No sex?! I rather die!
VB: Yeah I’d be like an angel or something neither male or female sex organs imagine no drama no periods no bullshit
Me: No periods!!! I can imagine that… the world would finally have peace.
VB: You almost home?
She was probably annoyed by me now…. See… I am letting you confiscate my cell now.