In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

I make it my goal every time I write a blog to make it funny, edgy, even controversial.

I like entertainment hence this blog should be entertaining. I totally now understand that you are all are laughing AT me and not with me. It’s cool because as long as your laughing and reading or the other way around I am happy.

The truth is no matter what I think of, whatever crosses my mind to write on here there is always something more crazier, funnier or even more fucked  up then I can ever write.

See, this was supposed to be mine!

So I am stealing it. Thats right. Copyright my ass bitches.

I kid.

What I am saying is the people who do random goggle searches and find my blog with their crazy ass searches are the true heroes!

Today I salute you Google monsters!

You all are some crazy mofos!!

Their searchers that lead to my blog make me honored and also very confused. So I am have upped my Xanex intake Michael Jackson style.

Huge Boobs-   Am I obsessed with big boobs? A little. However not as much as the freaks that search my blog. I honestly have 10 others searches referencing big boobs that all seem to have directed the freaks to my joint. What’s sad is that there are definitely no big boobs on my site. That actually is real sad.  I apologize. I will now make sure that I never disappoint you. And to prove it….

Yikes!

 

Clowns are people who want to hurt you – This sounds like more of an accusation then a wonder. I would like to think in a small innocent town somewhere , a DEA lawyer is getting his first crack at the law by sending an obvious clown criminal to jail. You know how those clown criminals are. Sneaky, creepy, and murderous. I hope through my blog I am able to provide facts and not in any way produce lies that all clowns are crazy and insane and their favorite movie is IT. Because that would be wrong.

Nun horse midget porn – Ok these Google searchers are  trying to seal my fate and my beach house property in hell. Let me say; never have I once said that nuns, horses, and midgets can be a marketable porn. The ideas are ludicrous. To say that a horse and midget would have anything in common. And the story line… What story line??  I need to always produce quality! Sigh.  It just takes one sad thought to fuck up the day. 

Must obey kitty – I have always been a bandwagon kind of girl. And if this definitely a new thing sign me up. Who can say no to cute ass kittens?

Fucking Monsters that’s who! Seriously though, if this is a religion. Sign me up! I am seriously pulling out my checkbook out now!

You’re so full of crap, your eyes are brown – It’s true my eyes are brown. But I also would accept light brown, hazel, or brown with yellow specks.  Now depending what you eat, yeah I can totally see why you would think I am full of crap. Not to mention my difficulty going to the bathroom anywhere than my house. So technically, this is correct. But I honestly say that my shit value can’t  be estimated through my eyes. Got it? Do you believe me? I am not lying. Seriously. Just look into my eyes….

Sad unicorn  – And that my friend is truly sad.

Well no wonder the unicorn is sad. He has shit in his eyes. Its like I tell my kids, Blinking is medicine. Keep blinking and all that dirt will wash away. You people want answers?  I will provide. Like a chick Jesus or Mexican Palin!

i will harass you – Are you serious? You will?  Well that’s just great.  Harassing is a form of flattery is what my mom used to always say. In fact, you aren’t harassing enough people! Feel free to turn it up a notch. Don’t worry about the 6’5 ft  275lbs guy that is follows me around all the time. Or the loaded shot-gun that he keeps pumping.

Georgia freaky people  – (whispers) Ssssspt! Hey! You! Shhhh. Come here. I totally said this like a hundred times. Quiet. Shh shh shh, don’t tell anyone. Especially the freakiest of them all. Brave fans. Yeesh

Yeah, i think about getting married. i also think about killing people on the freeway – If this is a question about whether you are ready for marriage or not, well, I would have to give you the thumbs up. How can you not be?!?!  You are contemplating everything! And that’s great!  I also think about killing people on the freeway. And I also think that after 7 years and my husband is still alive- I think that speaks volumes on my driving skills.

 

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Comments on: "Big Boobs, Sad Unicorns, & Georgians All Make My Blog What It Is" (23)

  1. I had other comments to make but I am still stunned and shocked over your huge tits to say anything else. Hehe.

  2. Google search terms crack me up. It just proves that there are people crazier than us! SCORE! I am now traumatized from the pic of the big boobied woman! My eyes! My eyes! 😛

  3. firecracker3 said:

    Those search terms are sooooooo much better than the ones I get! I love it 🙂

    • Mine have improved. I used to get really really creepy psycho ones about doing your mom and stuff. Who knew that I was apparently into that? Huh?

  4. Dude. Is that boob picture for real? It seems like it can’t be….and yet….and yet…..

  5. ryoko861 said:

    LMAO!!

    I have no idea what google does that causes certain key words to bring you to your blog! I get the same thing, though not as bizarre!

    “Georgia freaky people”…..WTF? What about Pennsylvania freaky people? I wonder what that would bring up? Probably MY blog! LOL!!

  6. Seriously every morning when I wake up I hear a magical little ring on my phone letting me know what my fellow bloggers have written today – and each and every time your title(s) crap me the hell up! My son reached for my phone this morning and he said “Mom, someone just text you about big cheeches and horses and whats a gorge-in? Do you want me to read it to you” of which I replied “NO! Its not a text its an email and what are you doing on my phone?” For my entertaining morning I thank you my friend!

    LOVE the post!!!!!!

  7. When did you get my Picture!? Did TciMaster send it to you?
    I am so kicking his ass!!!!

  8. TheIdiotSpeaketh said:

    I’ll see your big boob searchers and will match you with my “Nude Donkey” searchers that grace my site….. 🙂

  9. You know what’s making that unicorn cry? That poor woman’s giant boobs. OUCH.
    Great blog, hilarious!

    • Really? I don’t think they are that disturbing. However, I think she needs to wear a caution sign that says “motorboat at your own risk” for her own sake. Gotta protect the boobs and the pocket book!

  10. The last one cracks me up!

  11. I must say that the ‘nun horse midget porn’ is quite, well, something to be imagined right there as a seach item. And I would think it’d be impossible for that poor big boobed woman to run… unless if she threw them on her back!

  12. If people are googling big ass boobies and getting your blog then I envy you because you must be doing something right. Either that or you have some voodoo magic going on and it involves some big ass boobies and I want in! Pronto chica!!

    A sad unicorn is just fucking depressing. Have you called the suicide hotline and tipped them off about the depressive types endng up at your blog (it wasn’t me)!

    As far as the porn goes….wrap it up! When it comes to porn, anything goes (that’s what I’ve been told. I know nothing about porn cuz I’m a good girl…..ahem…..who’s never watched porn and wouldn’t even know where to find it on the Internet, adamandeve.com or late night cable and shit. Nope, I know nothing of what you speak of)

    The End

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