I make it my goal every time I write a blog to make it funny, edgy, even controversial.
I like entertainment hence this blog should be entertaining. I totally now understand that you are all are laughing AT me and not with me. It’s cool because as long as your laughing and reading or the other way around I am happy.
The truth is no matter what I think of, whatever crosses my mind to write on here there is always something more crazier, funnier or even more fucked up then I can ever write.
So I am stealing it. Thats right. Copyright my ass bitches.
What I am saying is the people who do random goggle searches and find my blog with their crazy ass searches are the true heroes!
Today I salute you Google monsters!
You all are some crazy mofos!!
Their searchers that lead to my blog make me honored and also very confused. So I am have upped my Xanex intake Michael Jackson style.
Huge Boobs- Am I obsessed with big boobs? A little. However not as much as the freaks that search my blog. I honestly have 10 others searches referencing big boobs that all seem to have directed the freaks to my joint. What’s sad is that there are definitely no big boobs on my site. That actually is real sad. I apologize. I will now make sure that I never disappoint you. And to prove it….
Clowns are people who want to hurt you – This sounds like more of an accusation then a wonder. I would like to think in a small innocent town somewhere , a DEA lawyer is getting his first crack at the law by sending an obvious clown criminal to jail. You know how those clown criminals are. Sneaky, creepy, and murderous. I hope through my blog I am able to provide facts and not in any way produce lies that all clowns are crazy and insane and their favorite movie is IT. Because that would be wrong.
Nun horse midget porn – Ok these Google searchers are trying to seal my fate and my beach house property in hell. Let me say; never have I once said that nuns, horses, and midgets can be a marketable porn. The ideas are ludicrous. To say that a horse and midget would have anything in common. And the story line… What story line?? I need to always produce quality! Sigh. It just takes one sad thought to fuck up the day.
Must obey kitty – I have always been a bandwagon kind of girl. And if this definitely a new thing sign me up. Who can say no to cute ass kittens?
Fucking Monsters that’s who! Seriously though, if this is a religion. Sign me up! I am seriously pulling out my checkbook out now!
You’re so full of crap, your eyes are brown – It’s true my eyes are brown. But I also would accept light brown, hazel, or brown with yellow specks. Now depending what you eat, yeah I can totally see why you would think I am full of crap. Not to mention my difficulty going to the bathroom anywhere than my house. So technically, this is correct. But I honestly say that my shit value can’t be estimated through my eyes. Got it? Do you believe me? I am not lying. Seriously. Just look into my eyes….
Sad unicorn – And that my friend is truly sad.
Well no wonder the unicorn is sad. He has shit in his eyes. Its like I tell my kids, Blinking is medicine. Keep blinking and all that dirt will wash away. You people want answers? I will provide. Like a chick Jesus or Mexican Palin!
i will harass you – Are you serious? You will? Well that’s just great. Harassing is a form of flattery is what my mom used to always say. In fact, you aren’t harassing enough people! Feel free to turn it up a notch. Don’t worry about the 6’5 ft 275lbs guy that is follows me around all the time. Or the loaded shot-gun that he keeps pumping.
Georgia freaky people – (whispers) Ssssspt! Hey! You! Shhhh. Come here. I totally said this like a hundred times. Quiet. Shh shh shh, don’t tell anyone. Especially the freakiest of them all. Brave fans. Yeesh
Yeah, i think about getting married. i also think about killing people on the freeway – If this is a question about whether you are ready for marriage or not, well, I would have to give you the thumbs up. How can you not be?!?! You are contemplating everything! And that’s great! I also think about killing people on the freeway. And I also think that after 7 years and my husband is still alive- I think that speaks volumes on my driving skills.