In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

One of the best things about having kids is naming them. I guess it goes for pets as well.

The whole process is painstaking but I love it. If you think about it you are giving a name that will theirs for the rest of their lives.

The name has to mean something. It has to be special and unique. It has to stick out and cry out to the world:

“Damnit, My name is _____ and here I am!”

Or some shit like that.

So in the effort we put in naming our kids or animals an awesome name, so should we do so when naming our  husbands’ penis.

Naming your husbands’ penis says, “You know what? I care!”

Hell Yeah I do!

It says we willingly to put them in a penis line-up and with the help of our chosen name for them, it help us distinguish them from all the others.

Have you named your man’s tallywacker?

If so, good for you!

Feel free to share it!

I, on the other hand, never named my husband’s penis.

I never had thought about it before.

And yesterday….. it just came to me!

Ok let me describe the scene.

I haven’t seen my hubby is 16 days.

So now … picture those Trojan lube commercials 4 times in a row.

After wards,  I was closed!



That’s it. My 7-11 does not open until the next day.

I mean, come on! Va jay jay needs some healin’.

However, my hubs rod of thunder was going strong! He would not let up.

It was beginning to be like a war movie.

We were going to divide and conquer!

We will not take surrender!

We will not accept defeat!

Power grows out of the barrel of the gun!

And then it hit me!

My hubs dick was tall, thick, and had the most perfect  war helmet!

And he would not stop going… it was all about victory! Victory! Victory!

He was Patton!

If you know anything about Patton, he was one of the best Generals. H e was the best at what he did. And the fucker knew it too.

He was known to be a bad ass, go getter, ass hole, and a true Army hero.

His best known quote, “When we land against the enemy, don’t forget to hit him and hit him hard. When we meet the enemy we will kill him. We will show him no mercy. He has killed thousands of your comrades and he must die. If you company officers in leading your men against the enemy find him shooting at you and when you get within two hundred yards of him he wishes to surrender—oh no! That bastard will die! You will kill him. Stick him between the third and fourth ribs. You will tell your men that. They must have the killer instinct. Tell them to stick him. Stick him in the liver. We will get the name of killers and killers are immortal. When word reaches him that he is being faced by a killer battalion he will fight less. We must build up that name as killers.”

So thus Patton was reincarnated in penis form.

Now you know the battle cry at my house!

“Don’t forget to hit him and hit him hard.”

Yes Sir!



Comments on: "Meet Patton: He is long, thick & has a cute helmet" (16)

  1. firecracker3 said:

    Dude, this was truly awesome, epic, amazing, I can’t even give it enough “likes”! I have never named any cocks although I had a ex bf name his own, I wasn’t thrilled with that, however, I digress. Glad to hear you had a great time! 🙂 How is your ability to walk normally today?

    • Keigel exercises in preparation of him coming home…. that s about it!
      Thanks… I was the same.
      And then it just came to me.
      And I love his name. The Hubs was pretty happy with it too.

  2. classicalgas said:

    TMI, hon, T-M-I


  3. I think this was one of your best posts! AWESOME!

    I have to admit that I have yet to name my man’s junk. What does that mean? It’s not that I don’t care because I do! I mean…I care enough to use and abuse it 🙂 So now I’m ashamed because I don’t have a name for it and I feel like I should. Holy crap! I sleep with a dick and I don’t even know what his name is…..I feel so dirty (gasp)

  4. I made penis names before, but haven’t come up with one for the fiancee. Huh, I’ll have to figure that out, but your name totally kills. And, I love the quote from the actual General, that is one badass!

  5. Seriously, where do I start with this? I think Firecracker summed it up! That was nothing short of awesome!

    I have named B’s Mr. Wiggles before. You see Mr. Wiggles is a bully. He is constantly pointing at me and trying to poke at me, then when I cave and he spits on me! WTF! 😉 Damn Mr. Wiggles!

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