In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

You know what I love?

Dumbasses!

Yep! I do.

Why?

Because they make me feel 10 times better about myself. Ok not, 10. Actually 100!

But we aren’t  just going to laugh and make fun of dumbasses. That comes later. We are also going to try to understand them.

Doesn’t everyone need a benefit of the doubt?

Today consider me like Mother Theresa or Oprah!

Everyone look under your seats right now for your secret gift!

And yes those fingers have been blessed!

Meet this fucker.

This dude  is was a substitute teacher. He was up until he decided to take out his tallywacker and urinate in his classroom trash can in the middle of a class.

For the record, he did it in the back of the class and told the kids not to turn around and look while he went — but you know kids.

As any substitute teacher will tell you, they just don’t listen.

Police say he has not admited tothe in-class pee break… but  they have “evidence” in the form of a urine-filled trash can.

Oops.

So here is the understanding …. hey when you gotta go you gotta go right?

I mean maybe he was out late last night until the early hours with the boys and had a hell of a time… and maybe a hell of a lot to drink.

Come on, draining the lizard becomes a priority people!! Have you ever peed in your pants cause you’re so hammered?

Me neither, but I know many people who do! Poor them and their loss of bladder control!

Lets heal together people. Heal!

 

Ok meet this young fucker.

I’ve butt dialed plenty in my time… but I’ve never been arrested over it.

Butt… err… But this Georgia teen didn’t just butt dial a pal or an ex or even mom or dad — he allegedly called the cops.

During a drug deal.

Police say the 18-year-old accidentally called 911 during a drug deal… and even mentioned where he was during the conversation.

It was a Waffle House, of course.

When police arrived, he was still at the eatery — and the phone was still on, with 911 dispatchers listening in.

Ok granted!!! This could have happened to anybody. I personally butt dial all the time. And yes even at a Waffle House! People at Waffle Houses are going nuts over the abundance of yummy waffles that its distracting, These damn waffles are so damn good that I don’t know where the hell my is phone. And you know, what I don’t care. I do care that the blueberry syrup is out! Waitress!!  

And the whole time, my phone is in my back pack dialing China!

In fact I think, in this case, the guy’s ass was trying to save him from the jail. Cause lets face it, his ass is walking the line.

Meet this Super Fucker

An anonymous man in Seattle is drawing attention coming to the aide of regular citizens in need while dressed in full superhero regalia.
On evening, a local man was walking back to his car when he saw a thief trying to break in. Before he could even react, a masked man calling himself Phoenix Jones emerged from the shadows and fended off the would-be burglar.

Holy Cheese Burgers Robin, this shit is for real!!

As much as I love this idea (I who loved X-men and Batman!!), I need to point that he actually isn’t a real superhero. He he has no powers, carries a taser (that’s so for chicks man!), and keeps his suit at a comic book store. Is he a member of the geek squad?

But hey! He’s making a difference, as are the eight other members of his crime-fighting movement.

At least until he encounters a supervillain, that is … or somebody with a gun … or somebody bigger than him … or somebody with a lawyer. Whatever, at least he’s trying. Plus, he does have a pretty cool suit.

Lets face it… it’s what you wear that is what is most important. If it was something atrocious, then it would be him himself that is committing the crime of the century!!

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Comments on: "Trying To Make Sense Out of The Stupid" (19)

  1. What tards! The dude that butt dialed the cops, now that is funny! the poor kids that witnessed the teacher peeing are all going to need therapy!
    dude in the super hero get up, that’s my boyfriend! Don’t hate! 😛

  2. firecracker3 said:

    1. I have nothing to really offer on the pisser…there are a lot of fetish sites, he might want to look into that…
    2. I have been cock-dailed before. Phone in front pants pocket. I had a field day with comments about that episode.
    3. At least that dude looks good in that tight outfit and he is doing a good deed, dumbass or not, I’d call that a win!

    • I love crazy teachers…. I wish others did.
      Butt dialing??? Cock dialing.?? Do people not believe in locking their phones!!

      Yeah the super hero is cool … a little weird but cool.
      I wish he could fly though or spin a web

  3. I can get behind Phoenix Jones. I wanna see how this plays out.

  4. You can’t hate on these people. Without them what would we laugh at.

      • This is the one and ONLY time I will be agreeing with my man. Not only do I love dumb-asses, but I specifically love the dumb-asses that YOU find and blog about. Why? because you crack me the fuck up and thats why I love you so….

        *sitting making googley eyes at you through the computer while completely creeping everyone else in the room the fuck out*

      • Wow…. thats so weird cause I was ,making googley eyes as I read this comment… Its like we have ESPN for each other ….whoa!

  5. My mom purse dials me all the time it’s funny I’ll listen in just to make sure she isn’t talking about me then hangup.
    Ive pee’d in the bushes before so I can relate with the teacher when you gotta go, you gotta go.
    I wonder if the superhero needs a sidekick I’m available. I’ll pretend we are just having very adventures dates and I can claim him as a boyfriend. 😀

  6. ryoko861 said:

    You can’t fix stupid!
    My son has stories that amaze me that these people walk the earth.
    I know what you mean, I feel like Steven Hawkins sometimes compared to these ass wipes!

  7. I love the nun pic and what it says “oh yes, these fingures has been blessed before.” another good post:)

  8. This just supports what I already knew: Nothing good ever happens at a Waffle House.

  9. LOL..hilarious!!! and butt dialing can be pretty dangerous! my brother got charged 20 bucks for dialing 411 by accident…lol

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