I told you it wasn’t over yet. I am very glad you listened. It wasn’t like that time late at night when you drank so much vodka and climbed on the roof singing Free Bird and I was like, “Get down! Birds are not nocturnal!” You insisted that they are and off you flew … off my roof. Lucky for me I have a pool. Next time I will remember to the water.
Lesson: When drinking heavily, do not listen to music that suggests anything. It’s like a rhetorical dare!
This weekend in honor of the end the world I plan to get loaded (baked potato loaded and Mike’s Hard Lemonade loaded)! And I plan to look through the city for my own crazy church signs. Seriously. It may not be enough to bring me in the doors but I will definitely be laughing in the parking lot.
But that might not even be good enough to save my soul this Saturday! Where should I be? What should I be doing?
God is definitely a man! It just makes sense. And now that I am thinking about it my husband may just be the pastor here! I am serious. This is his favorite catch phrase. That or he says,” Hit your knees woman! I command thee.”
Something like that.
Isn’t this comforting? Are you not filled with hope for the future?! Who knew Jesus was a black rapper? Is he signed with Diddy?
Rev Eddie Edmonds can kiss my ass… that all I am going to say!
I am now starting to believe the stories of Zeus busting into women’s doors and impregnating them.
Whoops … mysterious baby bump. Ok it could be the pool boy, Elijah, or God? I’m going with God!
A love a church that cares so much on how much I orgasm. I’ll give them an answer and they will reply “That’s not enough!”
Baptist huh? I’m not buying it.
Whoa someone needs to school this church… missionary is behind the times. I looking for a more progressive church. Unless you are implying if someone is bored then the answer is to just have sex then I say… what a fine idea!
Nike, you should look into this slogan!
And the truth is no one likes a spitter!
Swallow it! Swallow… eh swallow it!
Ahhh the word of God…. no one said it was going to be easy to swallow!
Haaaa you see what I did there?!??!
ITS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT…. AND I FEEL FINE!!!