In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Oh Yeah!

Everybody drinks. It’s relaxing, a great way to get a little loose with ladies (or guys) or even loosen up on the dance floor.
However have you ever deserved a beer or any drink for that matter?
Have you had such a horrible week that you are aching for a glass (or bottle) of wine, your mixed drink of choice, or a beer?
What about your job? Is the job that you do deserving of a beer?
Then this post is for you!
Here are a few “occupations” that I feel are deserving a cold one!!
Drink it up now.

1. Those guys that write  a small summary about what a movie is about on the back of DVD’s.

Yeah, that job must suck! First off, what is your position title even called? It would be highly ironic to say you’re a writer.
Man: Hey man, what do you do?
Man 2: I am a writer.
Man: Nice! What do you write?
Man 2: Ever see those descriptions on the back of DVD movie boxes? That’s me.
Man: Awww man that sucks.
 
What are your guidelines? 140 characters or less? And do you have to see the movie? What if the movie sucked?
Can you express your opinion or even mention that it was made on $1000 budget?
You deserve a beer.
Because your probably aching to say how much the movie was awesome or royally sucked balls.
Instead, you gotta write something cheesy like:  20 something reporter, Josie Geller (played by Drew Barrymore), never really been kissed. (Lame) When she gets assigned to go undercover as a 17-year-old high school student, she sees her chance, and becomes a geek. But things start to get out of hand when her brother joins high school and she falls in love with her high school teacher. (Barf)
Failed writer…. Here’s you beer!
 
2. You work at  Chuck E Cheese
 
Holy Shit that’s like automatic birth control. Everytime I walk into that place I have never found one happy employee.
And if I ever do, I am leaving right away! The happy ones are the freaks!
I can’t imagine dealing with screaming, wild, crying, whining, running, talking, moving, staring, breathing kids all damn day.
How have you not committed suicide? And the stench, cheese and feet?!?!
How was this job your option?? Did you like kids before?
I am guessing now you just wanna throw a skee ball at em.
I feel for you.
You deserve a beer!! Damn everyday of the week!
 
3. Barnyard Masturbator
Do you really need a description for this?!
How about turning the attention to how this can royally fuck you in the head along with your social life?
I can totally see someone with the job dreading the old line, “So what do you do?”
What can you say?!
“I jack off animals. Chicken, horses, cows. Did you know that horses can squirt up to 100 miles an hour? Yeah the more you know.. am I right?”
Oh yea! You’re getting laid!
And even that special one on one time we all have with ourselves gets totally ruined!
Imagine doing yanking barnyards animals all day, you come home, and wanting to unwind, you reach in your pants…. you just grabbed a horse’s ding-dong!
Yours was like several feet smaller! Doesn’t that just make you feel grand?
How can you ever touch your self again? How can you pull it out in front of a girl?!?!
What you should do is pull out pics of a horse’s tiddlewinks in front a chick… watch her eyes widen and say oooo ….
That will never happen to you!
You my friend deserve a beer every hour on the hour!!
 
 
 
 
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Comments on: "Promoting Intoxication the Only Way I Know How" (11)

  1. firecracker3 said:

    bahahahaha I love this! Fuck ya!

  2. EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeewwwww. The Barnyard Mssturbator needs a keg.

  3. Oh my, all those jobs definitely require some daily drinking to deal with it afterwards. The last one is a job I didn’t even think about it, ick!

  4. Yeah, the barnyard masturbator definitely deserves a drink. All that work and no satisfaction? He needs a FEW drinks.

  5. Ah….
    Ya sure….
    I’ll take the shot now please.

  6. I’m cracking up…Barnyard Masturbator. Freaking hilarious! If I was to guess they are all secret alcoholics!

  7. ryoko861 said:

    LMAO!! OMG, that’s hilarious! I’ve never thought about those jobs before, especially the barnyard yanker! Never knew it even existed!

    Chuck E Cheese sucks! Why does it even exist?

  8. Are you offering me a good ole’ gettin’ drunkin’?

    I’ll take it!!

    Love ya,
    AJ

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