My very good friend Arlene texted me this morning that it was time. She is 38 weeks or was going to be this Saturday. I am so happy for her. Especially since this is her first baby for her husband and her. And its a little boy!!
I am so excited for her (and yes! a tad jealous) because she is embarking on the mommy journey. Through the whole experience from finding out your pregnant, visiting the doctor, seeing your tummy grow, and even running to the toilet when something did not agree with you is one of the most magical things. No one can understand that until they have had a baby. I remember always feeling like it was a personal secret, the story between me and the baby growing within me.
And now she is in the final stage, the whole process of child-birth.
I must admit I loved this time too. I was induced all three times. Each time my husband and I went to the hospital and waited while the medicine worked its magic to make me go into labor. I remember the serenity of these moments because it was with my husband. Just him and I waiting for the next best thing in our life to happen. We would talk about missing our other babies, wonder what the baby would look like and just anxiously wait with each other.
Magical small moments until the real magic happened.
So far, I haven’t heard anything yet. Chances are she is having the baby now or had him already.
Being a mother for the first time is so new and scary. And also very exciting. I can’t help to think back to all the advice people surrounded me with or stuff that I have learned now that I wish I knew then.
So today, I implore you mothers and yes fathers to leave a little piece of advice that you learned on your own, or advice that you heard to my wonderful friend.
Trust yourself. It doesn’t matter how many kids you have because each one is different and you will learn something new each time. There will always be advice to be given but ultimately you make the final decision. I was a new mother and other mothers were constantly telling me what I was doing wrong or giving their opinion. I learned, ultimately, I knew my baby best. And even if I didn’t know the answer right then and there, I would ultimately figure it out. That was the best time. Figuring my baby out and what was best for them.
Example: It was just me and my oldest daughter and she was about 5 months. My husband was out-of-town on business. For some reason, my baby girl would not stop crying. I changed, fed her, rocked her, carried her, burped her and still she would not stop crying. She wasn’t warm or displaying any type of sickness but still the crying would not stop. I was starting to freak out. I felt like I failed cause I wasn’t doing anything right. After a whole day of this and night, I was crying with frustration and sadness.
I put her down in her bed and left the room. I went outside and breathed the night air to cool down. I didn’ t hear crying so I went back in and she had fell asleep. There was no explanation and she was never like that again. Maybe she had gas. I don’t know but I wouldn’t be surprised cause gas runs in the family.
I didn’t know what I was doing but I learned that its ok to take a break. It’s ok to remove my self from a frustrated moment for a break. I also learned that things are going to happen … that girl of mine had been to the ER a couple of time and continues to be fearless. Some how whether I have been without sleep for days, extremely frustrated or I seriously don’t know what to do, things will figure themselves out. The mother in me never leaves and even without me being totally conscious of it, I figure something out.
You will too. Always. Because you, Arlene have always had what it takes to be a great mother. And not just any mother, but a mommy. A mama. So trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Remember your baby came from you. From deep inside. That connection is deeper than anything, so you will always find a way.
Congrats Arlene and Damian on your baby boy.
Love and Best Wishes.