Today I kind of wanted to make fun of religion in general. I have a bunch of ideas so if this sounds all,umm, 2nd graderish (?), I apologize.
Since Easter is like 4 days away, I figured people would need some insight in saving their soul. Ok not exactly insight. Then mindless drivel inforation I thought of in the shower.
Next to Christmas, Easter is very important. It’s the remembrance of Jesus’s death and his miracles of making bunnies shit colorful candy filled eggs on this special day!
You got to hand it to that Jesus! Facing his death but still thinking of the children!
Anyways, I began thinking of all the possible religions people could follow so their soul is safe from damnation, and well, it’s a lot!
Truth be told, I am not familiar with any of these religion except the wheel which is what I believe caveman worshipped back in the day.
However, all these religions are based on one thing: faith. Faith that some Intelligent Design was smoking grass (he obviously created it why not sample it?!) and feeling a bit well bummed out. Not only was he majorly tripping out but he had no one to share it with. SO thus he began creating the galaxies, planets, atoms, particles, gravity, earth, oxygen, water and all the life forms on the earth. To be quite fair, this Higher Being had to be on something to create some of these creatures!
He that created all things was seriously smoking something out of this world. Out of this world! See what I did there!
However that’s it … the belief and faith in believing something not substantiated by observable evidence. And that’s freaking awesome and kinda cooky at the same time!
I mean some people believe so hard that they are willingly to kill people over it, start wars, or kill themselves. The only thing I have been willing to fight over is the last taco from Taco Bell. Again, that is some strong faith!
I am very un-religious. I rather watch a Jerry Lewis MDA telethon. Sorry. But if you are the complete opposite, that’s cool! You do you! And I’ll do me!
However, for the record, I think religion is a big crock of shit. I am lazy ass person to commit myself to anything. Ask my work! They committed me to be at work everyday at 8:00am. I am swinging 8:40am! Sorry just not committed! And again anything that backs killing children, women, men, old people for the sake of their God is totally not on my agenda. I don’t do Hitler people! For the record, Hitler was a Christian. Yeah! Yeah! Granted, he also was slurping down the ME AS GOD TRAIN too.
However, if you’re into burning cockroaches and starting cockroach holocausts, I will help you out!
If you into religion, more power to you. Just don’t throw it in my face. Fuck if you can believe in God, angels,and the devil then leave me alone with fairies, Mickey Mouse and the Power Puff Girls!
So Happy Rabbit Laying Egg Day!
While you guys are getting enlightened on Sunday, I’ll be cooking out and throwing eggs at my kids cause that is how I roll!