In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

I Don’t Do Hitler!

Today I kind of wanted to make fun of religion in general. I have a bunch of ideas so if this sounds all,umm, 2nd graderish (?), I apologize.

Since Easter is like 4 days away, I figured people would need some insight in saving their soul. Ok not exactly insight. Then mindless drivel inforation I thought of in the shower.

Next to Christmas, Easter is very important. It’s the remembrance of Jesus’s death and his miracles of making bunnies shit colorful candy filled eggs on this special day!

I want a cremed filled one!!

You got to hand it to that Jesus! Facing his death but still thinking of the children! 

Anyways, I began thinking of all the possible religions people could follow so their soul is safe from damnation, and well, it’s a lot!

Truth be told, I am not familiar with any of these religion except the wheel which is what I believe caveman worshipped back in the day.

However, all these religions are based on one thing: faith.  Faith that some Intelligent Design was smoking grass (he obviously created it why not sample it?!)  and feeling a bit well bummed out. Not only was he majorly tripping out  but he had no one to share it with. SO thus he began creating the galaxies, planets, atoms, particles, gravity, earth, oxygen, water and all the life forms on the earth. To be quite fair, this Higher Being had to be on something to create some of these creatures!

He that created all things was seriously smoking something out of this world. Out of this world! See what I did there!

However that’s it … the belief and faith in believing something not substantiated by observable evidence. And that’s freaking awesome and kinda cooky at the same time!

I mean some people believe so hard that they are willingly to kill people over it, start wars, or kill themselves. The only thing I have been willing to fight over is the last taco from Taco Bell.  Again, that is some strong faith!

I am very un-religious. I rather watch a Jerry Lewis MDA telethon. Sorry.  But if you are the complete opposite, that’s cool! You do you! And I’ll do me!

However, for the record, I think religion is a big crock of shit. I am lazy ass person to commit myself to anything. Ask my work! They committed me to be at work everyday at 8:00am. I am swinging 8:40am! Sorry just not committed!  And again anything that backs killing children, women, men, old people for the sake of their God is totally not on my agenda. I don’t do Hitler people! For the record, Hitler was a Christian. Yeah! Yeah! Granted, he also was slurping down the ME AS GOD TRAIN too.

However, if you’re into burning cockroaches and starting cockroach holocausts, I will help you out!

If you into religion, more power to you. Just don’t throw it in my face. Fuck if you can believe in God, angels,and the devil then leave me alone with fairies, Mickey Mouse and the Power Puff Girls!

So Happy Rabbit Laying Egg Day!

While you guys are getting enlightened on Sunday, I’ll be cooking out and throwing eggs at my kids cause that is how I roll!

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Comments on: "I Don’t Do Hitler!" (19)

  1. After that post I want to make out with you. That was awesome.
    We don’t celebrate Easter the way it was meant. No, we eat mass amounts of chocolate and play with eggs all day. Hallelujah.

  2. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha ahahahahahahahahahahaha ahahahahahaha ahahahahahahahahahahahaha ahahahaha hahahah haha ahem….ha.
    Ok that was fucking hilarious. And the picture truly was priceless. Hahahaha!

  3. Great post. Talk of evolution and eggs with pictures of a chicken and a rabbit introducing a second mystery – who came first?

  4. firecracker3 said:

    The “creme filled caption” really did it for me, I already love that picture and look forward to seeing it come, er, cum, er whatever, each year around this time.

    I also enjoyed the Jersey Shore reference of the, “You do you. I’ll do me.” haha nice

    I will be at church on Sunday then a family dinner. There already has been mass amounts of Easter candy b/c I love candy like I do coc..er, chicken, yeah, chicken that’s what I was thinking….

  5. I must say that this post made me fall more in love with you too! I am very unreligious myself too, and I think I shall celebrate this holiday by getting myself some delicious Cadbury eggs. Yum!

  6. LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAO

    hold for breath

    LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAO

    wiping tears

    I have always loved the creme filled eggs and today, I love them a little more!

  7. It’s interesting to hear how everyone will be spending Easter. I will be at church then brunch at Mami’s, then dinner at my brother-in-laws. No cooking for me. That’s all I know.

  8. I just wet myself, really! That photo! You’re my kinda gal 🙂

  9. TheIdiotSpeaketh said:

    Happy early HAPPY RABBIT EGG LAYING DAY!! 🙂

  10. ryoko861 said:

    Sunday is Easter?

    ANYWAY…..

    I watched FoodNetwork all day today. That was my commitment.

    Two weeks ago, a mini van pulled into my neighbors driveway and two very neatly dressed males got out. Yeah, I can spot these bible thumpers a mile away. The audacity of them to just pull into someone’s driveway to spout their message of Jesus bothers me. And sure enough, they floated over to my house (yes, they float, they’re feet don’t touch the ground because they have religion). One says “May I invite you to a memorial service of Jesus’ death?” Now I thought he said “May I invite you to a memorial service for Alesha”. Now Alesha is my son’s friend. I thought OMG, what happened to Alesha!?? But my husband heard him correctly and said “No, not really.” And they left without incident.

    Today?

    Same shit, different people. I didn’t even let her get the words out…I put my hand up and just said “No, I know exactly what you want and I’m not interested”. The left without incident as well.

    Are you fucking kidding me? Is the church lacking members? Twice in a month I get solicited? Is it even legal? If I need religion, I know where to go, I don’t need someone preachin’ it to me.

    I agree, keep it to yourself.

  11. So I shouldn’t show up at your door to try to save you and make sure you are welcomed into paradise? We are a selected few who will be allowed thru the gates of paradise of eternal life.
    I will help you free yourself of sin and cleanse your soul.

    LOL!!! just kidding bet I had you going WTF!????
    Dude to each his own I worship Chihuahuas, chocolate and Netflix so who am to judge anyone else.
    😛

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