Yeah go ahead and make fun of him. He does sound like he’s losing his mind.
He might very well be.
Sure, he has had some taste of a few illegal substances or had far too many drinks.
Maybe he is the reason they tell to say no to drugs. Brain cells frying and all that.
There are so many theories!
However, while we are quickly casting judgement, we seem to be missing one thing. One very important thing!
In the words of the great Cosmo Kramer:
While everyone is dissing him cutting him down or even not giving him a second thought, Charlie might be on to something!
Have YOU ALL NOT been listening to what he has been saying?
Move through all the cocaine infested pill popping boozed up brain cells and you will find WISDOM!
He is GIVING US free samples of his divine wisdom! He clearly has been inspired and is now showing his truths to us all! He might be the solution to all man’s problems! If he is not the solution, then I want him inducted as the new Buddha or even the new Dalhi Lama.
I am a follower Charlie Sheen! I am a Sheener or Sheenan or whatever the convent will be called. As your devout follower, Charlie, let me show the world the truth that you behold. Let me make them gravel at your feet.
Inspirations from San Sheen.
1. “I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it with my brain.”
That is truly awesome Charlie. Truly! You give a new meaning to mind over matter! You must teach us your ways. What is this mind power you speak of? How may I obtain it? When you die can I have your brain?
2. “People are mystified by this odyssey that refuses to quit calling itself Charlie Sheen.”
Yes we are. Please Odyssey don’ t stop calling itself Charlie Sheen. Don’t. Ever. Stop.
Make it rain! (strippers and whores)
3. “I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro.”
I kiss these fingertips and I feel the magic and poetry sing from your very soul! I am of course ignoring the weird smell coming from your fingers. Oh I see, you deep your fingers where for knowledge?! Amazing.
I am not productive at all when I take naps. I find it amazing that you have this divine power to create even more power through your sleep. Is that why you sleep from 5 Am to 4PM? Amazing!
I never understood the whole Fly like a G6. I am assuming that it must some kind of plane. However when you compared yourself to a F-18, well I must assume that has to be greater! 18 is bigger than 6 on such a great scale. Oh divine one, how you mystify us!
4. “If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”
I don’t mind the beatings Charlie. Really I don’t. I am learning and that special something will eventually come to me. I think I almost had it yesterday but when you knocked me against your minotaur statute and I lost it completely.
5. “There are parts of me that are Dennis Hopper.”
Interesting! Who else do you channel? Can you by chance channel Leslie Nielson? Princess Di?
6. “I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.”
You know I always felt that way. I felt he never made a decision and just wavered around aimlessly. I was always a John Adams guy myself.
7. “I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee … they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, ‘I can’t process it.’”
Whats in your underwear cause its my turn to the laundry in this house?
8. “I have tiger blood.”
Yea my mother made it with a dog. Sad story honestly.
9. “I have spent I think close to a decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold.”
Say what now? There is gold somewhere in this house. This house is full of porn stars. Don’t think they won’t take it all and leave your ass!
This reminds me the story of Rumpelstiltskin. Remember what the lawyer said. No plagurism!
10. “Because why give an interview when you can leave a warning? I’m not fair game. I’m not a soft target. There’s a new sheriff in town, and he has an army of assassins.”
Hisssssssssssssssssssssss. Porn stars Unite! We battle for reason and one reason alone!
Drugs and because these hallucinations make us.