In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Damnit, I am going to invent something. And its going to monumental! MONUMENTAL people!

You guys heard of the computer right? Right? Well its nothing like that. Nothing.

I am totally selling it, right?!  So how many you wanna order? I will need 20 installments of $19.95 and it will be yours. Just wait two to three years because it has not left the drawing board.

Oh yea … the product! Here it is (drum roll please) …………..Coffee eye drops. Ok ok it won’t actually be coffee. It will be drops that consist of everything coffee has … the caffeine, the stimulation etc etc, everything you need to keep your eyes peeled open.

No more droopy eyes! No more fighting with the eyes to stay open because we all know they have a mind of their own.  With this genius product, you will be wide awake when you need to be!

The Office!

Meetings!

Talking to your spouse!

Talking to your mother!

Talking to that annoying friend who just won’t stop complaining!

During sex!

During the millionth time you child reads Go Dog Go to you!

We have every occasion! Hurry and order now!

Side effects: Hyperness, difficulty staying focused, short attention span, ability to hold pee, and heart attacks.

~~~~~~~~~

How do you know when you need to change your life around?

When your whole day revolves around lunch time.

~~~~~~~~~

I love Storage Wars. My husband is feeding my desire. He leaves the company van that he uses at a nearby storage facility. And he brings  me  home tons of things  that have been left and disregarded.  I got like a salon’s packaged nail polishes. Score! I also got some awesome cosmetic jewelry that was like brand new. Score!  Rachael Ray’s cookbooks! Score! Maybe someone will use those things at the house. *Eyes Gus*

Now I wanna own a thrift store so I can properly hoard things that people don’t want. How can I achieve this?

Storages!

I am normally not a hoarder but I could start. I can find stuff for me! And oh, those people who will come into my thrift store… what are they called? Customers? I think that’s right. Who cares about them anyways? It’s all about me and other people’s stuff !

~~~~~~~~~

I wonder what I am going to eat.

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Comments on: "My Inventions, My Purpose, My Attempt to get on Hoarders" (12)

  1. Someone is losing her grasp on sanity. I wont say who but maybe it’s time for a long nap.

  2. OMG thats fantastic! Mr T gets to bring home stuff that people leave in his cab. He turns it in to lost and found with a claim ticket and if it’s not claimed he gets it. We’ve gotten 4 really nice digital cameras with cases and memory cards. Oh and we got an iTouch for (12) that (11) now uses since she got her iPhone.

    I support you and your hoarding. Hoard away my friend. So many TV show possibilities….so little time 😉

    • Thats it! I am turning in my resignation letter today! My dream is to be a cab driver. Do you think it would fair well if I just skip the whole driving people around thing and just jump right into asking them to give me all their belongings?

  3. I am completely jealous of the odds and ends coming home with Gus. How awesome! Great score with the nail polish! That stuff isn’t cheap!

  4. Caffeine drops for the eyes….hmmmm, you could be onto something. And it would be legal!

    I do have a source where I can get some awesome stuff that people get rid of. I’m a horrible business person though. I sell stuff on line and sometimes on Craigslist. That’s about the extent of my business savvy experience. Lame.

    Occasionally, there will be an auction at one of these storage facilities entailing 4 or 5 units that have gone abandoned. I have to get myself over to one someday. I love a good auction!

  5. […] I flicked through a couple of blogs this morning (namely Marina Sleeps’s and EduClaytion) and it seems that my subconscious mind was paying more attention than I originally […]

  6. I figure it could be another thing that I become addicted too.

  7. Fuck, I am all for coffee drops. The slogan could be “Coffee Drops: It’s like crack for your eyes” or “Coffee Drops: Shit just got real”. I’m just spit balling here and it shows, ha ha. Nice post.

    • No fucking way dude. I think I just stuck gold with you! You could so be my marketing director. I love the last one for sure! “Coffee Drops: Shit just got real!”

      I think all Americans can relate!

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