Damnit, I am going to invent something. And its going to monumental! MONUMENTAL people!
You guys heard of the computer right? Right? Well its nothing like that. Nothing.
I am totally selling it, right?! So how many you wanna order? I will need 20 installments of $19.95 and it will be yours. Just wait two to three years because it has not left the drawing board.
Oh yea … the product! Here it is (drum roll please) …………..Coffee eye drops. Ok ok it won’t actually be coffee. It will be drops that consist of everything coffee has … the caffeine, the stimulation etc etc, everything you need to keep your eyes peeled open.
Talking to your spouse!
Talking to your mother!
Talking to that annoying friend who just won’t stop complaining!
During the millionth time you child reads Go Dog Go to you!
We have every occasion! Hurry and order now!
Side effects: Hyperness, difficulty staying focused, short attention span, ability to hold pee, and heart attacks.
How do you know when you need to change your life around?
When your whole day revolves around lunch time.
I love Storage Wars. My husband is feeding my desire. He leaves the company van that he uses at a nearby storage facility. And he brings
me home tons of things that have been left and disregarded. I got like a salon’s packaged nail polishes. Score! I also got some awesome cosmetic jewelry that was like brand new. Score! Rachael Ray’s cookbooks! Score! Maybe someone will use those things at the house. *Eyes Gus*
Now I wanna own a thrift store so I can properly hoard things that people don’t want. How can I achieve this?
I am normally not a hoarder but I could start. I can find stuff for me! And oh, those people who will come into my thrift store… what are they called? Customers? I think that’s right. Who cares about them anyways? It’s all about me and other people’s stuff !
I wonder what I am going to eat.