I had just finished dropping my daughter off for school. To get out of the neighborhood I have to cross the axis road, to get back around and on the freeway. This area is heavily run with traffic and the cars never block the intersection enabling me to always get out with a bit of ease.
However today as the sea of cars were parted and I was attempting to get out, a crotch rocket (that’s what I am calling them) zipped forward blocking the intersection as I was going. He then revved his stupid bike engine at me. Sounded like a sick kitten purring!
I thought immediately ‘If I was beautiful, he totally would not have acted like that. Upon seeing my beauty, he would have stunned and maybe would have crashed.’ Then I thought about it again. Damnit, just a minute here! I am a hot piece of ass. Who am I trying to kid?
True, I am not a Marilyn Monroe . Nor am I model material and I probably couldn’t make it on those Spanish novellas with all those hot sexy latina women. I more of a psycho, loose cannon, clumsy ass beautiful. Which is rare. Like the pink diamond. Exactly.
He must had some severely dark shades on. No he was totally blind. He obviously didn’t see the almost god like creature before him trying to mush him with my gigantic Tahoe. He must be blind. Come to think of it, I should have revved my engine back! Blind people do not belong on the road!
And with a flip of my hair I was gone.
There should be just a road created for beautiful people. Only we can drive through there. With that, there should be stores only for beautiful people. People would come and gawk and stare at the windows as we shop. We beautiful people would have glasses of champagne in our hands as we shopped. Life would be so good. Why don’t we have our own island come to think of it? We need to separate ourselves! Ewww. I just an ugly person walking!
Seriously that might have been something that would have made him deathly afraid. In fear. Of basically in his own life. I will admit it … when I cry I am a mess. Snot everywhere. Picture that!
Hmmm, so right at the height of my day I was kicked down. I guess I ain’t as hot as I thought. That sucks.
I asked my mom, “mom am I beautiful?”
“Well, you got that nose from your father. It looks broken.”
I ask my two-year old,” Honey is mommy beautiful?”
He growls at me and smacks me with his play phone. Like bitch get back your ugly ass back in the kitchen.
Nevermind. Never freaking mind. I come home. The dog jumps on me. “Hey Bo am I sexy enough to stop traffic?”
I then got one of these looks from him.
Is that a yes? No? Fuck you Bo! No food for your ass … see if I give a crap!
Ok I did feed him but I was angry about it the entire time.
Well in my 15 minutes of being beautiful it was quite nice. The sun was shinning, lights were green, people moved out of my way as I drove.
That … or I am one crazy ass driver.