I never thought about New Years Resolutions…. but this year I am thinking of them. I think of all the things I want to do or wanna be. And then I start thinking, well why I haven’t I?
Am I really waiting for the January 1st to start anything?
Honestly I am. I want to begin with the new year. A fresh start, a fresh new way of thinking. Lately there have been many sad thoughts. These days feel like they are passing fast, to fast. The feeling scares me. It felt like it too so long to get here and now, I worry that there isn’t enough time.
Resolution #1. Make time.
I need to make time. There will always be dishes, laundry, a house to clean, etc etc. When I step outside myself, I see my kids waiting there patiently for me. Waiting for me to sit down and play with them, listen to them, read to them, and really do anything with them. And I am doing everything like a mad woman trying to get everything done.
Its just not possible. And even if it is … at what cost.
My little boy turned 3 yesterday.
Gone are the infant years, the baby steps, the first words.
He is a little boy and getting bigger everyday. I need to start cherishing these moments. Cherish these like they were the last.
Its not just my kids. It my parents too. How long do I have with them? I used to think en eternity. Sometimes when I see my parents especially my dad, it makes me cry. I see the lines in his face, the gray hair, the tiredness. When did that happen?
For years, my parents looked the exact same. And then some time when I was growing up, getting married, having babies I looked at them and they were different. I love my dad and mother so much. I worry about them.
I need to call more. Go over more. Take time to just do things for them in any way I can. I want them to know that I love them. That they mean the world to me…. and for me, they were the best parents.
I think of my husband. I think of all the ways I can be a better wife, friend. I need to always try to improve, to communicate, and be sensitive. I need to be outside my self and look at the ways I am with him and to him.
I love my family. I need to focus on that. I need to extend not only to my family but those that I call friends at all. I need to let them know, show them, that I actually think of them. They are in my thoughts.
So my focus is outward…. I wanna be a great person. I wanna be a better for others.
Plus I can’t write that I wanna start exercising… cause they will mean I will actually have to start doing that!!