Whenever I wanna get down to my kids’ level, I start to talk like them.
For instance, my oldest daughter Savannah was not cooperating with me in the morning when trying to get her dressed for school. She was half-asleep which doesn’t make sense cause she was asleep by bed time. She has her mother’s sleeping skills. And yes it’s on my resume!
So I said, “OMG Savannah, yesterday at work, I was eating my lunch at then this guy (I’ll make up a name) threw his french fry at me. So I stuck my tongue at him and then he growled at me and I ran away and he chased me in the parking lot.”
She looks at me all wide-eyed. And it worked she is awake.
I was reading a friend’s blog the other day and she was talking about her account of visiting and staying at a haunted hotel in Dallas. I wanted to do the same thing as well. So I went to the Stanley Hotel website and looked up rooming information. If you don’t know, the Stanley Hotel was the hotel featured in The Shining .
Besides my self, the only other person I would have to take to Colorado is my body-guard, Gus. You never know if one of my 7 readers is actually really crazy and lives in Colorado. Who knows what all that snow does to a person. And if you saw Gus (all 6’5ft and 300 lbs of him), you might wanna stay away. Taking Gus worked out fine due to the fact that Gus is my husband so I wouldn’t have to pay for a second room for him. It also worked out that I am married to my body-guard, so technically he would pay for the whole trip.
But all the rooms were booked for this weekend. I cried a little into my pillow pet. However, the show must go! Or the blog.
So I decided to improvise. In my bedroom, on the side that Gus sleeps, is our closet. At night, it freaks us out cause it looks like a long deep hole to an abyss.
Every night, we have to close the door. If not, when we turn to that side, all we see is the deep darkness of the closet. So the door is always closed. Perhaps we have an overactive minds, but we are not willing to take the chance. I always tell people the closet is haunted. Gus then rolls his eyes.
“It’s not haunted. This house is barely 20 yrs old. The first family that lived here moved away.” He says to me and to my embarrassment to the people I tell.
Whatever. Always trust your gut. And my gut says its haunted. And that a little girl lives in there. Ok, that part may not be true. Ok, it is not true. But it helps to sell the story.
So I thought what better time to enter into the closet and take the challenge.
The first thing I noticed entering into the closet is that the light switch is on the outside of the closet and not in. So once I turn off the lights, enter into the closet, and close the door, I am in complete darkness. Eerie. There is nothing that I can do about it at this point. Ghostly house construction workers? Hmmm, I just might be on to something.
So I felt around in my closet. I couldn’t see a thing. Our closet is a mess. My kids like to hide in there and pull clothes off the hangers and I know there are shoes scattered on the floor. I felt for the floor and knelt down. Complete silence.
“Is there any body in here.” I say to the darkness.
“What do you want?” I say.
“Are you pissed that we live here now?”
“Are you pissed that the closet is a mess?”
I bump my head on the shoe rack behind me. And right then I hear a bump and a low rumbling. Then, boom, a shoe hits my head.
I freak the fuck out! I scramble to get out. Once I get out I feel for the bump on my head and analyze the high heel that hit me.
Clearly, we had a ghost. But I was wrong. So damn wrong. It wasn’t a little girl but obviously a full-grown woman that haunted our closet. She clearly didn’t like that the closet was a mess. As I looked at my high heel, it was an old BCBG high heel. I also realized, my eyes widened, that this ghost was no ordinary lady ghost. I was housing a Sex in the City alumni!
“GUSSSSSS! THE CLOSET IS HAUNTED!”