This morning was my daughter school’s Breakfast with Santa. You buy tickets and you are able to eat breakfast with your child in the cafeteria. Santa and Mrs Claus (she needs a first name) were on the stage waiting for hugs and pics with the kids. It was totally awesome.
Honestly, I am so curious what Savannah does in class all day. I wonder how she acts, does she follow the kids around, do they follow her around, how does she even interact with kids? It’s puzzling to me and if I get a glimpse, I am all about it!
I really don’t have shit to write.
So I decided to touch on something gay to my heart. You see, this blog was not to be anything depressing, make you sad, make you wanna off yourself and definitely not give you a wedgie either.
But some things, no matter how hard to say or explain, must be said.
The worst thing you can do is push the people away that love you the most. Especially when you are hurting, depressed, and even down on your luck. True, once you’re an adult you are responsible for yourself. Not your mother, daddy, siblings, or even the significant other. They can love you, support you, offer you advice, and be there for you but they can’t make decisions for you. They can’t force you do anything, believe anything, commit to anything. It’s not in their power even if they wanted too.
If you are depressed, hurting for whatever reason, I am not judging you. How can I? Though I can say burying yourself deeper in your own self-pity and choosing to be alone doesn’t help the situation.
This morning as I was taking my kids to their morning destinations, it dawned on me that no matter how sad I get, or overwhelming things get, or stressed there is just no way no how I can break down. My reason is because of my family. Especially my kids who know no sadness, no depressing thoughts. They don’t understand that mommy is sad for whatever reason.
I remember getting in an argument with Gus one time. I went and laid down. I just wanted to lay down, sleep and do nothing. Absolutely nothing. However, my kids would come and talk to me. I was like, “Leave me alone. Not right now baby.” Didn’t they know I was sad? I didn’t feel like thinking, let alone talking. They wanted me to get up and play with them, make them something to eat, pour them some juice. Trivial things, but it’s just a reminder that life goes on. And no matter what, I am still a mother. My kids remind me of that everyday on how much they need me. They are also remind me that they are my life. And they don’t stop and neither does life. Talk about a huge attitude adjustment and change in perspective.
Sometimes we don’t realize that we need an attitude adjustment and change in perspective. I am not talking about being clinically depressed. If you are depressed due to a chemical in balance or what not, well that’s a horse of a different color. I am talking about just letting the everyday occurrences bother you. Do you have something to live for? Something that puts everything into perspective? Because you have too. Not only does it add life and color to your life, but it’s the reason you get up in the morning. Whether its the job of your dreams, your favorite hobby, loved ones, or your pet Booser. Everyone has something. And if you can honestly claim you don’t, then you need to take a good look around you and maybe reevaluate your situation.
I don’t have the answers. No one does. Yet, I know what its like to be down. But I know also what its like to pull myself up. To me it’s not about proving to myself that I am strong or not. You have to find something greater than your own heart.
What do I mean? When your heart is telling you, reminding you of all the things there is to be sad about. If you have something that is greater than the power of your heart, then you can make it. Like I said, my husband and my babies are greater than my own heart. Find yours. Even if means facing yourself and finding the good in your own being. Rediscover your life, yourself and the ones that love you most.
Above all, do not forget to love yourself.