In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

A Very Sad Morning

I get into the office, check my email and lo and behold I have an email that raises the question: “Are you big and beautiful? Join today!”

First off I need to recognize that my spam filter is for shit!

Wait. Stop.

There I go again, making excuses and not really facing the honest to god truth. My feelings are hurt. In fact, I am deeply saddened and envious all at the same time. And here I was trying to blame the spam filter. God I am so pathetic. Just face the truth Marina!

No email, I am nowhere near big and beautiful.

Amen!

How often do you like being reminded of what you’re not? Never right?!?!

And do you want to be reminded of dreams that you will never accomplish?

What do I mean?

Well I’ll never reach my dream of being big and beautiful in a rap video.  Only the biggest and beautifulest reach that aspiration.  Only the biggest and beautifulest get to shake their dairy aire in a big fashion splashing it all over the camera.

Somewhere, somehow I am going to have to dig deep. Really deep. And accept (I can’t even say it!) that I am just regular skinny and plain. There is no junk in this trunk. There is no whip in my hip. There is no cooties in these boobies. It’s just so …. hard to swallow.

There will be no flashy cars and lights for me. There will be no glitter and show for me. I will always be watching the video and will never be in it. Ouch!

So email, as I linger over the delete button. I will eventually (sooner rather than later) accept that I will not be part of that club. I apparently lack the beauty and the meat required to fit your request.

I bid thee well.

Delete.

Ta (sniff sniff) Ta

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Comments on: "A Very Sad Morning" (14)

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Poster of a girl, Poster of a girl. Poster of a girl said: A Very Sad Morning http://wp.me/pBdAM-95 […]

  2. Don’t you just hate these emails? Seriously, SPAM…WHERE ARE YOU????

  3. Unfortunately, I have been cursed with ghetto booty. I am thin with a big ol’ ass and I’m over it. My husband likes it, I’m over it. Is there a delete button for my ass? I can’t find pants that fit me right. Here are my scenarios:
    A) fits my ass but I need a belt and they are a mile too long so I have to drag them behind me everywhere I go. The public trips, I get sued, lose my house and car, become homeless and hungry- but hey! at least I have a big ol’ ass worthy of a rap video and at least my husband is happy feeling on it from his cardboard box.

    B) fits my waist and is perfect length but I can’t breathe because I had to fold my ghetto ass into my jeans. The increasing build up of pressure causes the weakest part of the pants to burst and the button flies across a store taking out someone’s eye. I get arrested for the attempted murder of a civilian and am found guilty by reason of ghetto booty.

    Ah hell, at least I get three square meals a day and a place to sleep without any bills to worry about. Shit, I’ll keep the ass. Carry on……………..

    • Ah thats what they call it. Ok thats what I got too. Thats why I have not bought jeans in yrs. Its all makes sense!
      I just feel matching looks better. Big on bottom? Should be big everywhere!

  4. just love those emails.. We will start our own ‘little and skinny’ club. My ass has ran away with my boobs…oh where oh where did they go???????

  5. I HEART spam . . did you know there are websites out there that – OH LOOK SNOW! Oh now I get what you twitted! Ok ok Im a little slow DAMN MEDS!! HAHAHAHAH now what was I saying again?

  6. real-life-fantasy said:

    Unfortunately I am on the way to being big – and Xmas is NO help at all! It makes a change from SPAM mail about Viagara I guess.

  7. You should get my email that I have, I never get spam and whenever I do I just click that it’s spam and I never see it again. UNLESS, they send it to me from a different email address, so then I just flag them as spam again. It’s been the best I’ve had against spam, I had a real issue with making my penis larger spam emails before!

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