In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

What’s The Deal- Smart Car?

I saw as I was driving to work (Jamming to Britney Spears. Don’t judge me.)  a smart car.

How can this be ever classified as a car?

It boggles me. What is Mercedes-Benz trying to pull here?

I’ll be the first to say Yeah I make fun of a really fat people.

OMG, did you see that  gigantic person  at the buffet! Ha Ha Ha Ha.

They are making huge people by two seats when flying in an airplane?! Classic!

But Mercedes Benz, you crossed the line. It’s not funny anymore! I shake my finger at you! And the rest of my  body that jiggles when I do that!

The male version of me.

How, Mercedes-Benz, can you be so insensitive, so cold-hearted, so crass as to invent a car that overweight people can not (I repeat!) can not drive in? If an obese person was to be car shopping, the smart car would be an automatic no to him! How is that fair?! Discrimination!!  Did you make a car only thinking of the sickly starving models?!?

Can she even raise her arms?

Seriously, this is in fact not smart! She will probably pass out from dehydration and lack of not eating this week! This 85 pound girl will kill us all on I-10! And truth be told, that is not smart. Not smart at all! Though, I always thought I would die in a wreck, it would be something cool like flying off a mountain Thelma and Louise style!

I want to know why it’s even named Smart Car. According to its Facebook page (I know WTF! I don’t even have a Facebook page!),  it has a 5-star side crash rating, and the highest scores for front and side crashes from the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety.

Really? 5 star?

So when a 18 wheeler hauling ass on the freeway at 75 miles an hour crashes into it, does the Smart Car just bounce the fuck off? Apparently, it comes with a safety management system that’s equipped with advanced crash avoidance (active safety) and crash protection (passive safety) systems that come standard on all models. Really? So does it fly?Oh I get it, it has like Iron-man shield that immediately activates on point of impact! Makes sense, Mercedes-Benz. Makes sense!

Ok,  I am being sarcastic.

If I ever drive one of those, I will then except the fact that the Smart car has becoming my official coffin. So when I am destroyed in traffic, I am good to go! I am sealed in and ready for burial! At least it has a panic button. I would push that thing the entire time I am driving it!

Unless….

Unless the reason it was created and named the Smart Car, is because Mercedes-Benz senses the need to act as God. Be the balance of life. Our world is getting over-populated.  And in the history of man, there has always something that would balance out the world and take out a great deal of the population. In the 19 century, the population was near 1 billion. Then came the Black Death (worst plague ever). And it evened us out again. Thank god for WWI and WWII, right?

As of 2009, the world population stood at roughly 6.7 billion. And the population is expected to reach between 8 and 10.5 billion between the year 2040 and 2050.

Damnnnnn!

Aids, cancer, tuberculous have not been doing there job. I mean, come on! No one is actually volunteering to die.

So what if, what if Mercedes-Benz stepped in and said, “Let me make a car. It was be this cute thing. People won’t resist. Earth friendly. We will make it safe …. to an extent. Yet if you get hit. Even a classic fender bender. Death will be ensured!”

The government bought it! Stamped its approval on it! People buy the Smart Car. Why? Cause its Smart!

Sooner or later, they might start passing out Smart Cars for free to random people. This is how mine would look if I got one.

Hells Yeah!

Wow. I just discovered a conspiracy! Who knew? Now I  will await the men in black to come take me away.

Probably put me in a smart car and make me sit in traffic at 5 pm. Sudden death!

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Comments on: "What’s The Deal- Smart Car?" (47)

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Poster of a girl, Daniel Galvan and Poster of a girl, Poster of a girl. Poster of a girl said: What's The Deal- Smart Car?: http://wp.me/pBdAM-8B […]

  2. One of my old tutors had a smart car roadster. We still don’t know how he managed to get IN the thing (he isn’t exactly a size 0, he is a little more…well…think more Santa Claus…actually, he even looked a little like him lol) but he did, plus several pieces of lighting trussing (almost the length of the car), two dozen mini LED par-cans (about the size of standard kettle) AND a fellow student, plus various other pieces of lighting paraphernalia. Admittedly, it WAS a little “snug”, but we was impressed. I think its all in the packing.

    Mind you, my friend did say that being in one is like driving with you backside practically scraping the road, its that low, and they are so light, three of us once picked it up and moved it (as an April Fools)

    Perhaps it IS a conspiracy. The normal smart cars look barely more than a glorified mobility cart. With the growing increase of people buying them, it could just be a clever ploy to free up some space on the planet.

    You know, the more I think about it, the more I reckon you may be right….

  3. HAHAHAHA! I love it!

  4. LOL. I think if an 18 wheeler hit it at that rate of speed it just might bounce the fuck off LOL. That’s awesome. My youngest (10) thinks that they are “cool looking” – direct quote. (12) said they could be cool if they were “pimped out”. (15) said it looks like a jelly bean driving down the road.

    I do believe in your conspiracy theory. You’ve got something here. I don’t buy into this great crash rating shit. My voices tell me it’s a death trap, and even if they are wrong (don’t tell them I said that) the claustrophobic in me refuses to drive one.

  5. Smart cars totally piss me off, not smart whatsoever! They are just little vag cars, as my brother would say. Every time I see one I want to laugh.

  6. SoCalGreenMan said:

    The crash pic is NOT a smartcar (NO spare tire in a smart car).
    Swatch Mercedes ART; S M ART car.
    As for over weight people I’m 245 6’2″ and I fit better than many US compact cars.
    Shut the @$&%# up!

  7. The monster Smart Car – HI-LARIOUS. I love it.

  8. I don’t particularly like Smart, since my car is a BIT BIGGER. I drive a Corsa, so it’s not such a huge difference. What’s the deal with Smart?

    1. SMALL. Easy to park. Easy to drive in a huge city.
    2. CONSUMPTION. You, americans, have an issue with this 😀 All your cars “eat” up so much gas, it shocks any european. We buy a car based on how much it consumes. It’s the FIRST THING we care about. Not horse power, no nothing. This allows us to save more money when it comes to fuel, even if we actually pay TWICE as you guys pay in the USA. With my car I can drive almost 1000 km with a tank fuel. I doubt many of the huge cars people drive in the USA can go this far.
    3. SAFETY – hard to believe, but Smart do incorporate A LOT of technologies in that little car. It’s almost impossible to get it upside down. Not to mention it’s a town car. In a normal city we all travel at small speeds, because of the traffic, so the chances to die in that thing are pretty slim if you’re not breaking the law by driving faster. We have a 50km/h speed limit, let’s say you can go to 55-60 without losing your license. That’s if you’ve got space to actually push the pedal, since most of the time we’re driving at 30 km/h.

    There’s many people who drive this thing in Europe and love it. And, if Smart is a bit too small, we have other cars, hatchbacks, that do a good job. I have an Opel, others use Renault, Audi etc. Most of us chose the small consumption versions since it’s not worth it to drive a tank from groceries and work.

    • I totally can see your European point. However, I am American. Texan at that. And well bigger is just the way I roll! It’s the American way.

      • As you can imagine we did have a SHOCK when we arrived in NYC this spring. All those huge cars. And no manual transmission either 😀

        It’s the main difference between Europeans and you guys. We do like some horse power, but the taxes are HUGE in this case (sometimes you pay 20% or more of the car’s price YEARLY as taxes) and the consumption scary. When you pay almost 2 bucks/liter, believe me you’d like your car to consume as little as a stroller 🙂

        Smart was created based on this: very crowded cities, no parking space, small fuel consumption. It’s just a “town car” and I have to say it’s small even for me, this is why I never considered it. Such as many of us won’t ever consider a Hummer, there’s people who love the card and buy it. Same for smart

      • Point taken. I would think that the Smart car would be great for NYC. That’s funny what you said: believe me you’d like your car to consume as little as a stroller .
        In a perfect world, right?

  9. What a crock of shit! You obviously have never sat in a smart car because I know 6’4” 350 lbs guys who love the car. Do tell what car you drive??

    Then you show that lame picture of a VW from Brazil and relate it to the smart car. What a jump of logic that is!!!!

    I’m convinced that you like to hear yourself ramble on about things you know nothing about.

    • Wow you are exactly right. That is exactly what the point of this blog is :to hear yourself ramble on about things you know nothing about. FINALLY
      Thanks for reading.
      BTW I drive a Tahoe. American made thank you!

  10. Socalgreenman said:

    Wow, so many haters that have probably never even driven anything without truing wheels!
    Get the clue, gasoline will be $10 a gallon when you guys start driving.
    Hope you can afford the gas for you mom & dads escalades then!

    • Hmmm …. I am assuming (ass of me) that you are from England??? Again, it just for shits and giggles baby. I have been driving for a long tiime. Gas is expensive. But I gotta feed my Chevy!

  11. […] What’s the deal – Smart car? – we take time off from personal finance and other problems and talk about some serious differences between how Europeans and Americans see the ideal car. What makes Smart successful anyway? […]

  12. Hello marinasleeps, I’m also interested in this. (Please take a look at the most recent blog post on my weblog.) This was really good to read; you have most definitely given me lots of food for thought.

    Yours,
    cars2scrap.

  13. Omg girl what is it with these “Europeans” and their feelings. They get their panties in a bunch so quick…..my goodness! Lol they need to slow their roll…’.sheesh!

  14. I think you need to do some research. The car in the accident that you show isn’t even a smart car. I don’t know what type it is but it’s not a smart. As for room, I have a smart car and a friend of mine that is 6’7″ tall has no problem whatsoever fitting in it. He has about two inches headroom and his knees are at least two inches from the dash. Mine is the only car that he doesn’t have to spread his legs apart to keep from bumping up against the dashboard. Also, what do you think would happen if you hit a semi at sixty miles per hour with ANY car? I think you would find that you the same results.

    • Correct … but smashing a smart car into a semi would be a car that could not identify.
      PS Its just for shit and giggles. Love your smart car all you want!

  15. George said:

    the crushed car isn’t a smart car. count the lugnuts on the wheels, duh!

  16. Poopy Pants said:

    Drive any kind of car at 75 MPH into that truck, the results will be the same, you DIE!

  17. justmarriedgirl said:

    I like the SMART cars, but I’m afraid of being demolished by on of those big, masticating trucks on the road. The Europeans do it right in this arena, I must say!

  18. […] Feel free to read up ….. What’s the Deal-Smart Car […]

  19. unfortunately i think you’re wrong. you’re well intentioned, but wrong. i went to a demonstration of this car. it’s actually BIGGER than average when you’re comparing to the two front seats of regular cars.
    i know. i was surprised too. but that’s what it is – the car is wider and the seat goes further back.

    sorry, kid.

  20. OK, while i’m a big fan of Thelma and Louise (I saw that fuckin’ movie about 10 times with my best friend at the time) ok, i won’t judge you for britney spears if you lay off the T & L jokes. …

    ANYWAY, that skinny ass model needs hospitalization NOW! As for people who are obese … i just can’t jump onboard with fat jokes, cuz i see it like this: Bulimic is a REAL fat person who chucks. On the other hand, if i gained weight, i turned into the chick who can barely lift her arms. SO … what am i talking about? Certainly not cars. BUT, the smart car is a DODO car, Death Wish, Death Trap, and Anorexia girl could get hit with a wind and die (2 cents). Cheers! That’s mean (re: Anorexic person) … but she’s getting paid to deny her life.

  21. stargazer said:

    smart cars well here to stay and when mr obama wins again (%$#$%%^%34^%$%)
    gas prices will be so high we all will drive the smart way.

  22. Haha Yall are funny. I live in Georgia ill try to type like a New Englander. Stupid Obama doesn’t even know how many states their are, and lied to us. We are all smarter than him and aparently cars are too.

  23. Smartowner said:

    Hate to burst your bubble, but the car in that pic is a VW not a smart. Fact checking, it’s a beautiful thing.

    • I know its not. I just liked that that little car was all smashed us. K?

      • ShortFat&Poor said:

        Fact checking whats that… People post shit all over the web about how they hate smart cars and them being unsafe boo who. Smart cars rule. 🙂 FYI I have a 2008 smart car in Georgia that is zebra stripped and if you see its me. I also own a 2011 Hyundai Sonata and 2004 Ford f150 Longbed. So i run the gambit on cars. Quit hating on smart cars they are the greatest… So many photos all over the web of smashed cars that are not smart cars, people just wish they were that crappy. More like a ping pong ball it bounces…..

  24. […] Feel free to read up ….. What’s the Deal-Smart Car […]

  25. Smartcarlover said:

    The five star whatever pic, is not a Smart Fortwo, roadster or Forfour. Seriously, google images gets you nowhere sometimes

  26. Smartcarlover said:

    Oops, sorry about other comment. I saw you replying to a comment about that pic, very sorry. But you should try a used Forfour, very nice indeed and very spacious.

  27. If you look at the crushed cars wheel it clearly has the VW symbol on the center of the rim… This picture just shows what a Golf may look like in a head-on collision with a semi..

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