Well, it is November 15 and we officially have said goodbye to summer. The girls and I stood in the doorway in our house and waved goodbye to our imaginary Summer.
How did we do that? Did we dance around a fire chanting? Did we light candles and sing Kumbayas? No man! We turned on the heater to the house!
Geez, who do you think I am?
I saw a lot of movies this weekend! Yeah, my totally fave thing to do. It used to be getting wasted. But then, who would change the baby? Now I watch movies. And the question still remains. Who indeed will change the baby?
So anyways, (I am such a Valley girl!) I saw The Book of Eli and Legion. Obviously, I am behind the times. I am a Netflix fan so I must wait my 28 days!
I was told by my religiously employees that I will really wanna read the Bible after I saw the Book of Eli.
The Book of Eli was awesome.
I love violence. For that I am going to hell. It’s ok. I am aware.
However, did it make me wanna read the Bible? Funny, cause that’s what my hubby asked me immediately after watching it.
My answer, “Maybe not so much as read it. It doesn’t have the Dan Brown and James Patterson feel I like. Maybe I could hold it. Like in my hands. But that’s it. I am good.”
Again, I know already. Will Burn in Hell. Hey maybe I can stand on the street and beg for money with a sign that say, “Going to Hell so Need Money Now!”
Legion was really cool.
I totally was digging the hot angels in their armour. I mean whoa! That’s definitely how firemen should dress when they come rescue you.
I think the wing size for angels is the way it is for men and their need for a big “disco stick.” The bigger the better. Well, wouldn’t you want an angel that’s coming to save you to have 8 ft long wing span or a 2 ft? Yeah, that’s right 8ft! 2 ft could probably do the job. But do you really wanna risk it? Here is another way to look at it. Do you really wanna fly Coach or would you rather fly First Class?
Yes, I know. I know. Hell. I got it.
Sunday we took the kids to the circus. It was their first time. I have been before but who can remember these things. Am I right? So I am sitting there and the thought rushed to my head. THESE ARE REAL LIVE CARNIE PEOPLE!
Gus said, “No they are just regular people.”
But I insisted. They are real life Carnie people! I mean I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. No two headed bearded ladies. Then I went to buy snacks for the kids. Popcorn: $5, Bottle Water: $3, Cotton Candy: $4. Elephant Ride: $10. WTF! Does he do any tricks?! Pony Ride: $7. Again, WTF man! That pony better have wings. Freakin carnies! They are freaks!
Sincerely though, the shows were great. I had my video phone on hand in case anything went down. The tiger show was on and there was one really feisty tiger. Every time the trainer turned around, the tiger tried to swipe his head. I was like, “Here we go. When animals attack!” And I aimed my video phone. Nothing.
Later on, Gus and I were waiting for the kids to get their ride on the elephant. And he says, “Imagine the elephants go berserk and start running and stepping on people. Like animals attack.”
Tears came to my eyes. I remembered why I married this man.
“They definitely should put snipers in the ceiling in case these animals get a hair in their ass.”
And right there, this one elephant decided that nature was calling and right there was as good as time as any. It took a massive pee and shit.
And we got front row seats for that.
All in all, it was a great experience. The kids loved it. We all had fun and I got to see an elephant’s ding-dong!