Seriously. How do you not appear in your own dreams?!?! I DO NOT APPEAR IN MY OWN DREAMS. I repeat, I DO NOT APPEAR IN MY OWN DREAMS. I had another dream last night that I didn’t even make an appearance. How fucked up is that! Yep, my subconscious hates me! I don’t remember doing anything to my subconscious. Unless … unless it’s taking it personally the fact that I got wicked drunk (lol wicked) and started hitting my head against the wall trying to prove to Gus that I was just as bad ass as him. My subconscious shouldn’t take that personally, should it? All I know is that someone is withholding mutha effin information and not telling the boss. ME!
Usually in my dreams, I am the star. I am the Oscar-winning main character. No lately, its been about Kim Fuckin Kardashian.
WTF! Clearly, my subconscious hates me! In this week’s episode. Kim went partying with Raj from The Big Bang Theory. Lucky bitch! And for some reason Raj can only party if his mom comes with him. Hmmm totally weird. Anyways Kim Kardashian was kidnapped from the hotel they all crashed out by the king or president of India. I was watching the whole thing like I was in the movies. And the whole time I was yelling at the “screen” saying Kim Kardashian wasn’t even fucking Indian! She is Armanian! Apparently the king wanted to marry Kim and hold her against her will. The whole USA government was trying to get her back. WTF man! Yet of course, I was muzzled! So my opinion didn’t even count! Clearly my subconscious likes Kim a whole lot better. True, she is richer and way hotter. That’s not the point. Its my subconscious! And I pretty sure the government wouldn’t try to get me back. Oh hell to the no!
I am taking back my subconscious! I demand a recount or a vote or something! Kim, I love you but you’re gone. DONE! I mean don’t you have so much in life? Why do you gotta take my dreams? You selfish dream stealing witch. It’s too weird! I can’t imagine her trying to intercept my dreams! It is very fishy! So as soon as I get home I am downloading her video with Brandy’s brother. You know her infamous sex tape and watching it over and over.
Feel the embarrassment Kim! Feel it!