I love to cuss. I.Love.It! I don’t like that BS either that it shows (in a whiny voice) ‘the lack of creativity’ or ‘makes you just look stupid because you obviously aren’t articulate enough to use proper and correct words.’ F- that! I think it DOES show my creativity!
For instance, if I use the word ass in a sentence it is because the words booty, butt, tush, or behind all sound gay to me! Booty just sounds like 1990’s Wayans movie. Yeesh, talk about a slap in the fave to the history of cinema! Tush? Behind? Am I on set of a taping to an episode of Barney? Butt just seems I am trying to hard to be politically correct. And I am sooo not. So dammit just say the word. Ass ass ass. I feel so much better. And when you can add lib to the word ass, it just makes it better. Dumbass, weak ass, silly ass, retarded ass. It just really rolls off the tongue!
I would have to say my favorite word is shit. Cause it describes exactly what it means! Crap, feces, bowel movement. Try saying, “Oh bowel movement, I forgot to feed the snake!” And see all the weird looks you’ll get. Cause shit just makes sense. When I think of shit, the name magically appears. Oh yeah, the brown stuff with all the weird yellow particals. No not the chocolate candy Crunch bars! The real stuff! The stuff that makes you gag. Some, though, use it in a good tense. Like: “This shit is awesome.” Cause remember the time you took a much needed shit and well … it was awesome! Or like how one of favorite comedians, Ron White said, ” Taking a shit so big your pants fit better.” Something we all can appreciate!
Now the major one to me is the F-word.
It’s so hard-core sometimes I can’t even bring my self to write it. But I say it though. Hell yes! Especially in the car, when some dude from Juarez cuts me off. I sing it! The F word is a descriptive word. It’s almost like a quantity. “That was fuckin’ crazy!” How crazy?!??! Basically a undeterminded amount of it. But it was crazy! This word though is hot(!) that it’s still not allowed on tv. Obviously. Cause of its other meaning. Which to me is just silly. If we can say bitch, we should be able to Fuck! Bitch is referring to someone as a female dog. That’s kinda mean. When someone says Fuck you … aren’t they just saying kiss off, die? I mean, we all are going to die sooner or later. We are never are going to turn into a female dog! Where is the logic in this?!?! It’s also a verb. Cause in order to feel the world up with loving, sweet, assholes, jerks, and mass murders, you gotta do the deed. Multipy! And I don’t see anything offensive of that. I thank my mom and dad everyday for fucking cause then I would not be here! And you know what they do? They shift uncomfortably in their chair. You see people, maybe we should stop being prudes on dumb shit and start being prudes on pimples on asses, on bombs installed in fake implants, or bad drivers.
Thats all I am saying.