In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Who would you choose?

Jesus or Buddha?

Jesus, I bet, was a real cool guy. He had to be. He did magic tricks at a local party back in his day. And it wasn’t just pulling rabbits out of hats people. It was trying  to liven up the party. And he knew that water was bland and wine was grand! He obviously was the original Fonzie.

And have you noticed how great looking he is? I mean, those abs of steel. If he were alive now, I would definitely buy whatever he was selling. Jesus Juice? Sold! Workout with Jesus? Praise the lord! Can I get an Amen?! Cause you know it would work.

Jesus’s enemy is Satan. Even if I knew of the two, my money would easily go to Jesus. Satan kinda reminds me of satin and soft. Sorry Satan. Besides Satan’s weapon is persuasion. Jesus is like a rock. And the way. He said so himself.

Important followers: George Dubbaya Bush. Not a good example.

And he never took shit from no one. Just cause he the new kid around Bethlehem didn’t mean he could be pushed around. He claimed that town like rappers claim the city of Compton. In the immortal words of the original gangsta (and no not Tupac!), “Israel Love. Israel knows how to party. Israel knows how to party. In the city of Damascus. In the city of Jerusalem. In the City, In the City of Bethlehem. We keep it rockin. We keep it rockin.”

Jesus was all about the people. Kids followed around him like candy. And who knows, maybe he was dropping candy from his pocket. Though nowadays, even I would be somewhat suspicious of the “Incredible Happy Guy with All the Kids Around Him.” Hmmmm.

Now who would ever take a God seriously with the name of Buddha?  All it sounds like is an Indian hillbilly. Well that’s at least better than his real name. Siddharta Gautama. Say what? Buddha be tripping! 

And he was because you can smoke Buddha! “We smokin budda…come again we
smokin budda

me rollin with me pass the hoota to ya

me feelin that
blunt so don’t let that budda fool ya

puff on the hoota…come again puff
on this hoota

sit back, relax and let the budda sooth ya”

Buddhists were for the most part vegetarians. So was Buddha holding out on his followers? Obviously! The dude defined chunky. And well, he was God. He had to have all the finest meats. I would. But maybe that’s why he came up with Impartial Love. “Please don’t look here, look IN here. Not here. IN here.”

Important followers: Kurt Corbin from Nirvana. And then he killed himself. Maybe not a good example.

His mortal enemy was someone named Mara. Already Mara sounds like a little bitch. Apparently Mara attacked Buddha with weapons and the weather. Dumb. Buddha is a boat all by himself. The god can float!

And he created one of the most famous catch phrases, “Karma is a bitch.”

Hmmm, it just might be a tie. I use “Karma is a bitch” a lot.

You be the judge.

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Comments on: "My Tuesday Dilemma -This God or this God?" (8)

  1. Im seriously trying to contain my giggles in on this one (the boss is in this morning). LOL “He claimed that town like rappers claim the city of Compton.” SO true!! And hello Jesus said “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Words I live by

  2. Freakin hilarious you should totally have your own show lol

  3. Interesting. I’m at something of an eccliastical crossroads myself right now. I’m 51 years old and less certain of what I beleive and don’t believe than ever before.

    The God/Jesus thing confounds me. I was raised Catholic. We’re BIG on the triumverate. The Trinity–GOD in three persons…YET, Christianity tells us that if we do not accept Jesus Christ as our personal savior, then we’re condemned to hell.

    Or Compton.

    But conversely as Christians, we’re also taught that God, The Son and the Holy Spirit are all one in the same. Therefore, if you believe in God, wouldn’t you still be “covered” on that afterlife stuff??? If not, then why not???

    And what if part of what you say is true–what if a bunch of unenlightened Jews got tired of all the enlightened scholarly Jews and their schnotty, know it all, high-fallutin’ ways and decided to start their own religious sect that they could control.

    So, they sought and they did find. They found a good, kind Jewish man–say, a carpenter with the gift of prophecy and tried to convince ignorant followers to flock by convincing them that he had these great supernatural powers. Water into wine; fishes into loaves–you know, consummable alchemy. They would follow because they were an ignorant, provincial people who needed to believe in someth palpable…beyond blind faith. And to the unenlightened “magic” explains it all.

    Then soon, word of mouth spreads “The Word”. Peter and the remaining Fab 12 dissessminate the info elsewhere and next thing you know, Christianity is born.

    What if????

    LK

    • marinasleeps said:

      I agree. But even after three kids and seeing life every where, and people die that were close to me.. I still dont feel the need for God.

  4. I feel the need for God–on my own terms, I’m just not sure about the Jesus thing. Then again, I’m about one heartbreak up away from becoming an utter nihilist so fuck what I think.

    LK

  5. It’s got to be Jesus. Turning wine into water wins the day everyday. At least for me. (I’m pretty shallow)

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