Sometimes through all the hustle and bustle, it just takes you to take a deep breath and breathe it all in. And really take a look at it. The chaos that you see isn’t really chaos at all. Though time and the present seems to be a whirl wind, there are times you can just freeze the moment. I did that. Right, now I am laying down with my baby boy. He is getting big and sometimes I forget that he won’t be little forever. He is growing every day. And right now in this very moment, he is calm and in a peaceful sleep. I take this moment and breathe in. Just seeing his cute little face and body snuggled in the bed makes me remember this is my one life. Make it count with him. This moment is precious.
Today Savannah showed me her dance moves for her talent show. I can remember when it was just me and her. I remember as if it was yesterday that she was with me every where like we were best friends. And we are. She was the first face I saw in the morning and the last at night. Now she is in kindergarten. And I worry about her every day. She is so soft and tender, but I know I have to let her go. Just a bit but enough to let her stretch her wings and gain some confidence. That has been the hardest thing I have had to do. Seeing her today singing and moving, I took a mental picture and soaked her right in.
And I remember from the start Sienna was a strong one. Very sure of herself. I wish I was like that. She came home and went straight to her closet and took off her play clothes and put on her Cinderella dress. She is a fashion bug. And she’s brave too. After I got mad at her for throwing a tantrum, she came after me and said, “I am sorry mommy for whining. I am sorry.” You can’t resist her eyes. I hugged her and for a moment I felt my baby girl. Don’t let go. She pushed away and ran to play. She is the one that leaves me wanting more. But I had it, even for 5 seconds. It was my moment.
So today I stopped and really looked at them. Like David Grey says, “Singin this sweet sweet life.” And you realize just how lucky you are to be ALIVE to see them, to hug them, to smell them, to hear them. I never wanna die. It’s stupid I know but I never want to be without them. I would pause life just as it is now. Right now is perfect. They sweep me off my feet. They are greater than my own heart. Sometimes you just need to remember what makes life so sweet.